How to see open

失败与挫折只是让我们更珍惜将要来临的幸福！V^^

傻

失去才知道自己的傻
傻后才暗自的流泪
早知道没终点
为何要有起点？

Alex II

Went to see Alex just now. He looked so much better. And he seems to be responding to us. I talked to him, and his breathing pattern changed. That was what happen when his other friends talked to him too.. He wants to wake up! He will wake up!

I was wondering why I haven blah myself silly ever since his accident. Is it that I am not sad enough? Is it that I know he will be alright? Was it my training? I dun know. Maybe I need some catalyst like alcohol and our songs to bring out my tears that has been hiding? I dun know....

Today is the 10th day and it seems like ages to us. Alex, we will wait for you to wake up. Stop sleeping le, you lazy pig! :)

Out of Bounds

Hmm... why would a married man want to have affairs? Haiz, the temptations all around us. Is there still fidelity in marriages? I dun know lar, but for myself I will make sure I will never get myself involve with a married man, especially one with kids. No matter how tempting... tt's my principle. Cannot afford to take a wrong step in a moment of folly. A bit sian to be so clear-minded when it comes to affairs of the heart hor? But tt's moral for us. I have to recover fast and not think abt it... :)

Do I look like an easy ger? Why do I get this kinda proposal? This is not the first time liao... I dun know if they are joking or not lar... but I always state my stand. No flings for me... definately no, no.

Alex is still in a coma, haven regain conscious yet.... I pray hard for him...

Photos

I had sorted out our photos to be returned to him... but I never got a chance. I had 2 photos of him as a kid and wanted to return to his mum, but I tot better of it. Not at this time anyway.... Showed them the photo taken when the 3 of them were in Sec.3 at the Red Cross campsite. Wah, the picture is classic lor.... we had a real good laugh at how short and CMI Viz was. Most of the gers couldn't even recognised the 3rd guy was Alex! Saw him today... he is running a temp because of the wearing off of the drugs. Temp was 40 degree celsius. Hope tt will come down. Mum went to temple to pray and got an amulet for him also. So I told him over the glass door..."see, although you scared of my mum and she was pretty denfensive to you, she still got an amulet for you...so you must wake up!"

All of us are quite stable as of now cos there is no other news yet... but I can't be so sure for the next few days. What we are waiting now is to see if his temp will subside and if he will wake up. Doc said it will take 2-3 days... and that will be Mon.

Life...

the atmosphere is thick with emotions.. the humming of medical equipments and the digital screens displaying the organic functions of the body, together keeping him alive. he looks normal apart from all the tubes rooted into his body and gauzes which are planted in his nose and ears keeping blood in.. he looks so normal.. he is my friend, my brother..

there on bed 17, as almost still as he lays, he is fighting for a window to survive, he is fighting for the dreams yet to fulfill and the love he yet to blossom. there are so much and too many things for him to do.. he has to fight and he will.

tears poured uncontrollably inside and outside the room. the fact that he is the one lying on the bed is unconceivable. memories of him couldn't reconcile with the harsh reality now. why does the irony of life is for one who speaks the most to now making statement through silence.

brother, we still have whiskeys and wines to test, badminton to play. we still have to remind each other that we are friends of 17 years and beyond. you have to wake up! take your deserved rest and wake up.. .wake up.

posted by Viz @ Wednesday, April 11, 2007

RTA

Alex met with a RTA. He is now doing the emergency ops. According to the neurologist and what the PM told me, he has got serious head injury. He is unconscious and on breathing apparatus. The doctor won't know the outcome and how it will affect his neuro activites until he regain conscious after the ops. I do pray he will be alright......

On hindsight, is my recent brush with Oliver and the World Red Cross Day parade a tell tale sign? Anyway, it doesn't matter now. My heart wrench when I saw him motionless on the bed. Damn! I really wish he will be okay....


Footnote: Ops finished liao, but swelling in the brain not yet subside. They using medication to help. If this is no better, he might not be able to pull thru. I'm an optimisic person.... I am sure he will be able to fight thru it....

Alex

Updates : Alex had his second emergency ops this morning. The clot has spread over to his left brain liao. He is being sedated to allow his swelling and bleeding to stabalize. The drugs are going to knock him out for a few days. His brain was badly damaged and he is under observation to see if his condition will turn for the worse. Even when his swelling subside and the drugs wear off.... there is a possibility that he won't wake up. We will only know of his defects only when he wakes up.....
Alex, Alex, you must hang on there. I know you are strong-willed when you set your mind on something. I know you can pull thru if you want to. I know both of us were quite sian to be living in this world, but...... really, when things really happen, do you bear to leave those you love behind? I saw how your mum cried last night, I saw how Vinz and Roy cried....

I saw your MSN, but I know you are not behind your com this instant.... it felt so unreal...

I dun know, but it sound double standard now. When you are in a clear mind and that someone is not close to you, you would have preferred the person to shorten his agony but when it is your love ones, you will tend to harbour this hope that a miracle will happen and it will happen to you.....

Alex, pls hear us and hang on there... we will be there for you. Pls be safe..... We lost Jane and we can't lose you.

Nuisance

Went for 3 very stupid case for my last 3 day duties (1 day each) -_-". The call text for the first one was "Man lying in the canal". Wah, tot was a drowning case, even got my N95 mask ready... :p In the end, it was a case of drunkard fell into the canal. Make our firemen climbed down the canal (myself included) and carry him out.... Kns leh, drink go home drink lar, got yourself fallen into the canal... luckily its not raining that day.. if not sure another drown victim!

Like that still not enough, for the next 2 days, another drankard drank, make a nuisance of himself by making a den with his group of drinking kakis on the first day and sleeping along the road on the second day. What the f***! Really cannot stand them leh, dun know what their bird brain thinking one. Why must they make trouble for others? Can't stand drunkards!!! Argggg!!!! >:(

Quotes I

东南西北寻寻觅觅，我们都在寻找一个自己心目中的理想天堂。
可是往往等我们回到原点才会发现，原来这里就是天堂。
_________________________________________________
化
生亦何欢
死亦何苦
命似春梦
终归尘土
_________________________________________________
缘
缘起，萌芽于树梢上.
缘落，凋零于黄土中。
_________________________________________________

对你一份情深 一如我是心塌地 不离开过土地
你听到吗？我的歌声里 不再有少年的喜悦 确含有无影的泪。。
_________________________________________________

我问自己为谁停留 不再像浮萍随风漂流
只因为有你在我心中 我愿意付出一切所有
_________________________________________________

春天飘过的记忆 深深藏在我心底
却让我不愿再提起 是谁说过我爱你

Upset

My friend is sad.... why is he sad? I msg him just now...he has yet to reply :(

Haiz... read some articles on blogging in the papers today. Well, are we noncholant if we dun participate in the whatever is happening to the world now? I mean does it mean that if we dun report it in our blog? So what if you say or comment so much in your blog? Its all your views! Izzit going to change the world? Izzit going to reverse the effects of the tsunami? So what if you give your 3 cents worth? So what if ppl are lamenting that they hate their cereals instead of the world happenings? Its the individuals' life! Sure, the net is where there should be free expressions and speech... just be responsible for what you write. So does that cross the line if you just want to write what you think is important to you?

There is this flaming thing about this ger who report some person of defaming her. I mean she has her own freedom and rights to post whatever pics she wants in her blog ya? She can boasts how many LV bags she owns, she can lament on which Jimmy Choos to wear.... so? Why are there people flaming her on what she is writing? Unless it is some sort of racist remarks.... Ppl eat finish nothing to do ah? Why be green-eye and criticise on her extravagent lifestyle? Just because you dun have doesn't mean ppl cannot enjoy that....

So what if she is flaunting? You can flaunt if you have the means.... dun like, just dun visit her blog lar... But I must also add.. if the posts contains of demeaning or looking down on ppl (as our so call 'elite uncaring face') then its another story already. Maybe I shan't speak so much since I haven even visit the said person's blog... :p What I want to drive across is if you are critising people, then you have to be responsible for your words. If not, who are they to judge if you blog about your bad hair day or staving children in third world countries?

Perhaps you can say I am in a defensive mode since I dun blog about big things but rather a lot of minor r/s thingy... haha.

And like what I wrote abt feeling bad the past few days... ppl call me slutty without any evidence. Quite upset about it... wish I could tear that B**** mouth. You know what they say when people belittle another? Its inferiorty complexity.... continue to belittle people.. it only shows how insecure and inferior you are.

Regrets

Haiz... was browsing thru my friendster friend list. Miss my days in Navy man! Any regrets? Yes.... I should have stayed in the force. But well, tt's how life goes right? You made some choices, and shouldn't look back especially the regretable ones. Everything happen for a reason bah. Anyway, what's done is already done.... so I shall learn from that mistake and move on. Mum is right... I am still at the starting point after going round in circles.

Read a RC's profile of mine... well, he already has quite a few achievements at his age. Me? Nothing great under my belt. Time for me to move on and make some achievements. Life is just too short....