愛情的本質是背叛。

愛情的本質是背叛。

愛上一個人，先是背叛了自己的時間，為了思念一個人日夜顛倒魂牽夢縈。

再來背叛自己的知覺，將情緒的搖桿交給對方掌控，從此喜怒哀樂的表

情變成對方遙控上的一顆按鈕。

然後背叛自己的自由，把時間空間全割讓給對方，犧牲原本單身的自在。

當感情淡了的時候，開始背叛愛情的承諾，背叛對方。

愛情結束的時候才贖回自己，結束背叛。

除非，你又愛上了另一個人。

Attachment

Why do you say attachment is corruption? Are we not attached to those we love?
Does this need explanation? When you are attached to an idea, to a concept, to an ideal as the Communists are, or the Catholics, is there not the beginning of corruption? When I am tied to a belief, to a god, to an image or to a person, is there not the beginning of corruption? Please Sirs, it is not what I say - just look at it for yourselves. Is attachment love?

If I were attached to you as an audience (God forbid!) I would be exploiting you, deriving great comfort from you, fulfilling myself. Is that not corruption?

When I am attached to my wife, to my friend, to a piece of furniture or whatever it is, corruption begins: I have to guard it, I have to protect it, and so comes fear. Fear begins with attachment. I may derive pleasure in that attachment, comfort, encouragement, but there is always the shadow of fear in it, anxiety, jealousy and possessiveness; people like to be possessed and to possess. Is that not corruption because in that there is a sense of fear, anxiety, that I might lose it?

So can one live in this world without any sense of attachment to anything? - to one's beliefs, dogmas, gods, to all the various symbols, ideologies and images and to the furniture, house, experiences? Which does not mean that one becomes detached. When there is an attempt to be detached then detachment is part of attachment, because the opposite has its roots in its own opposite.

Is that clear? So when one understands the nature of attachment, the consequences of it, sees the whole movement of it, not just one particular attachment to a person, to an idea, or to a piece of furniture, but comprehend and have insight into this whole movement of attachment - then attachment drops away immediately without any conflict. Then perhaps one has love - because love, fear and jealousy cannot go together.

Saga seeds

Gee, a colleague recived a box of saga seeds today. Hmm... brought back memories of first loves :p It was very popular then to collect saga seeds and make handicrafts to the person you admire... hee. I still got a collection. V^_^

However, as we grow older, these small gestures of love do not seem to play a part anymore. We would all prefered something practical and expensive. How nice was the feeling of the effort put in and the appreciative smile that was to be on the face of your beloved. Hope I will still conscientious rem these little gestures to jest up my future r/s bah...:)

PS. Already got a list of places where the saga trees grow. Shall start my hurt for saga seeds soon...*wink*

Life!

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Wahaha, a net friend send me one..... lol

Happy Birthday

Yo yo, 1 year older lor! Staring at the screen, I really dun know what to type. What can I say? Not very eventful since last birthday. Except this is the last birthday starting with the digit 2, there is nothing much to say.

I only wish I strike tonite's TOTO, wahaha, tt will be my only birthday wish!! :p

My tutor is cute

Wahaha, know why I am writing this entry? Cos my new tutor is cute.... :p Gee, additional motivation to go for classes...wahaha.

Then I realised I am more attracted to the tutor who is not as fit and good-looking as compared to another classmate of mine. But what is new? See all my exs know liao.... :p

Re-read a book I had. "Seduction by the Stars" by Lexander and Rose. Hmm... the seduction tactics had me in stitches. Haha. But some points are quite true lar. Like we Leos like pampering and to be pampered. And we with big egos always expected to be treated with royalty. Leo women also appreciate and are impressed with guys with lots of confidence. Bold, not wimpsy. Though we are always bossy, we will want someone whom can match us and a real man.... :p

And when Leo women feel depressed, the first thing they do is to call their hairdresser for appt. I realised I do tt too...haha. Will always do something to my hair when I dun feel good...

Ya, I will be impressed by a guy who is confident and know what he is doing.... and not afraid to try and pick me up. But of cos its up to me whether to acknowledge or not lar. Haha. But usually no lar, I dun entertain pick-me-ups like tt especially in pubs. I still prefer the more natural way of meeting ppl i.e thru introduction by mutal friends or common activties.

PS. It just strike me that I am writing all these especially on my tots and preferences is just a way to reaching out to ppl. Subconsciously, I need someone to understand me and accept me. You may think I am a narcissist but maybe the stating point of bloggers is just that. To be heard and be accepted.....

More Quotes

Love is too strong a word to say it too early, but it has too beautiful a meaning to say it too late.

-Unknown

Did it ever occur to you that you're so caught up in trying to make the right choice that you've never stopped to consider the possibility that there may not be a right choice, or a wrong choice, just a bunch of choices?

-dawsons creek

The only problem with following the crowd is that it's crowded.

-Unknown

I'm afraid to say i love you
and really mean it,
cuase i never want to get hurt agian
or make someone else hurt,

-Unknown

One of the worst ways to miss someone is talking to them on the computer, knowing that they are there looking at the screen on the other side...and you know that they still don't think of you that way...

-??

Sue the Govt? Allergic to giam chai?

Eh, saw the article in The Newpaper. More and more individuals are suing the govt as this is the only way to gain compensation for injuries etc. It mentioned 2 cases whereby the mothers on behalf of the teens sued the govt for compension for their injuries. Okay, me too lazy to type out both, so I shall just mention 1. This mother is suing the teacher of neligence from the pri. school where the teen studied. During a toilet break given by the dance teacher, the child fell along the corridor due to the rushing and running of the rest of the children for the toilet. Because of this accident, this teen had shortening of one of his legs. Now the mother is suing the teacher (i.e govt) for not keeping an eye on the children and allowing them to run along the corridors. I mean duh? Come on, we all have been kids, do you listen to your teachers when they asked you not to run? How much can a teacher look out for all children granted they are so hyperactive and there were more than a few of them? I know,in US, you can sue the other party even when you are in the wrong. What is the world becoming? Well, maybe the perspective of the mass are changing, new ideas, new regulations, new social norm.... haizzz...

Guess there is really nothing you can do except to keep a open mind on how the society changes. Hey, I am doing the socialogy component of my degree.... hmm, shall think of more issues for my topics for TMAs... hee

Did not sleep well last nite cos my leg ached in the middle of the night. Mum said must be the "giam chai" (salted vegetable) that caused it as this has happened before. It has been a long time since I had this kinda aching of my knees... :( Imagine I am allergic to giam chai?!?! Tiano.....

I was chio then

Wah, was going thru my albums. I was damn chio/cute last time man! Haha... (note the italics)

Decided to cut my hair le, think I look better with short hair..:p

Hmmm.... saw old photos with my exs. They reflected those happy times then. Haa. I am considered quite lucky you know? All my boyfriends quite sayang me one.... but tt was all in the past le. I realised I did not have so much wrinkles then..... *sob sob* Comparing then and now, experiences were written all over my face. I was no longer so carefree and cheerful. Charlie's mum commented before that I looked more seasoned (read hagged) after I left the Navy and started my biz. I guess you can try your best to fool the world, but you can't fool your body.... :)

And yes, now I know why my batch boys and RC mates commented that I slimmed down a lot. Indeed, I SLIMMED down a lot. Looked sexier and healthier then. Time to get fleshy... heee

Feeling nostalgic again...*rolleyes*

When a guy rejects a gal...

"...there is only 1 reason, he dun fancy her. " This is also true the other way round.

It is really hurtful and painful when your love is not being reciprocate. But it happens all the time.... haizz, sad.. :(

So you either persevere and hope that he/she will finally be moved by you or you can choose to move on. For me, I dun like to 强人所难，and I hope I will never deviated from this principle. If the guy dun like you, it will be meaningless making him yours. Then you will feel insecure in the relationship. 何苦呢？

Ah fuck, I hate life!

I love sunset

Hmm, was at Changi beach just now. Managed to capture the sunset at that moment.



Nice hor? Here are some places where you can catch very beautiful sunsets

1. Harbour Front
2. Sentosa
3. P. Ubin
4. Changi
5. Marina Bay (along Sheres Bridge)
6. National/ Indoor Stadium
7. West Coast
8. Tuas Naval Base
9. Singapore River

Parenting

Played with little Jovan just now. He is soooo cute and nobody will believe how clever this little imp is. Haha....

I looked at his cute little face and a rush of emotions set upon me. On 1 hand, the little one is so innocent and just arrived in this big world for mere 4 months, on the other, this is only the begining of his long and tedious journey on this earth. I know it is inapproporate for me to write all these negative ideas when a few of my frends are newly appointed parents.

The heavy responsibility of parenting can never be stressed enough. Just look at my own mum for example. She complained about worrying for us even up till now. A parent just can stand aside and not lend a helping hand when the child needs help. To the extent that the children's problems become theirs when the children themselves do not want to face it. We have been taking our parents for granted. Like my sis, mum has to help look after the kid while the parents are more concern about their own leisure. We children had been short-charging our mum. I feel ashamed of myself. :(

Because of my sis situation, I am in a depressed and negative mood again. When I look at Jovan, I can just imagine the challenges ahead of him. Growing up pains. All family has them. Growing up is really tiring and scary. We all have sad stories to tell when we were growing up. Some past are so painful that they are better stored at the very back of the mind.

With the problem now between my sis and her husband and her mother-in-law, I really cannot see the future for them. I look at the way my bro-in-law and his mother treat my sis and mum, I am really stuck for words. I dun know how my sis is gonna survive this marriage. Why can't he treat her and us nicer? Did he really have an agenda to take advantage of us? Why is my sis so muddle as to get herself into all sorts of trouble? When will she ever learn?? That is why my mum is so frustrated, my sis problem and happiness has become her problem now (and mine).... shit.

Maybe not having any children is the correct choice.....

Rumblings

Did it ever cross your mind on how you determine your dressing? Like do you built your dressing ard bags, shoes or accessories? Read this article in Urban, it make me realised I built my dressing ard my bottoms i.e. skirts, jeans, pants (not butts k?) Some people will decide what to wear to match the bag they have decided to take that day. Some will match the clothes to their choice of shoes. Me, I will first decide based on the activities of the day, followed by my mood of casual or dressy. Next, I will select my bottom (if I'm not wearing a dress, which is pretty often) and get a matching top. Then I will decide to make either changes to the bottom or the top if it doesn't feel rite. I make sure my bags and shoes matches the majority of my wardrobe so I usually dun have difficulty finding matching shoes and bag...V^_^

Okay, enough of me, myself and I. Talk about office politics. Haizz, why is there a need to differentiate which rota you in? Whether you EAS or ERS? We are all just working together, why can't we compromise and be more accomodating towards each other? Is there really a need to draw the line so clearly? Most of the time, we don't usually hate the whole group or whatever but at individuals. If it is the individual that you are unhappy with, be more objective and dun involve those innocents...

Been browsing ard my friends blog and I miss reading their updates. I think blogs bring people closer though we may never have met one another other before, like Mr Brown, Gayle, Rockson and such....

House work

Just finished mopping the floor, done the laundry, folded the laundry. Hmm.... I was thinking to myself, thanks to mum for making us do the housework when young. I mean helped to sweep, mopped, vacuumed the house. Washed up after meals, do our own laundry. if it wasn't for her, I guess I will still be a spolit brat who knows nuts about maintaining a house. At the very least, I can say I know how to do housework. Maybe due to the upbringing and culture, I think it is very embarassing for a lady to not know how to maintain a household. I mean there is a difference between choosing not to do and dun know how to do.

Modern women tried and strived to be the all-rounder superwomen. Okay, this sounds a bit crude, basically men want a woman who 进得了厨房，出得了厅堂，上得了床。 Of cos there are clever women out there who knows it takes real efforts to attain that level and are satisfied to fulfill at least 2 of the traits. lolz... damn, the women are going to hate me.

Back to the housework, tending family topic. Dun laugh at me, though I am from the X gen, I think I will be proud of myself if I can manage to tend and cook for my partner. Hmm....要做个聪明的女人！*wink*

PS. Bought this new washing powder, supposed to make white garments whiter and brighter. Well, shall see how white my pants will be later.... heh

Wise Advice

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

- Unknown

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Something that I have real problem adhering to....wahaha

Dun like unhappy things

Duh, know why am I writing now? Cos there is the repeat telecast of Holland Village on tv and I dun like scenes with unhappy happenings. Like someone kana framed by others, someone bullying others, you know, unhappy things and those that makes you feel all agitated.

Have this bad habit since young. I mean, I am like aunties that scold the baddies in those soap operas and such. You know it is all a show and that is the intention of the producers to stir up the emotions in its viewers. *rolleyes*

So here I am, like an ostrich hidding in the hole, refusing to go out to the living room and watch the show.... duh..

Nice Quotes

people always ask me . .

"how can you like him?"
"why do you love him?"
but it's okay . .
i don't want them to understand because then . .


they'd love him too !!

-.....

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I didnt mean for this to go as far as it did
and I didnt mean to get so close
and share what we did
and I didnt mean to fall in love
but I did
and you didnt mean to love me back
but I know you did

-Plain White t's- A lonely September

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And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

-Wasu

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"I know that I have to learn to say goodbye to the people in my past so I can move on but people just don't understand that no matter how hard you try you always have a little ray of hope that the people in your past will become the people in your future.

-Unknown

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ever feel like the biggest problem in the world...is not the world itself, but yourself in the world?

-a friend while watching the stars

Happy Birthday, Leo

" blah blah blah.... This is the year to find the love of your life! Finally, all your emotional investments are paying off - it's raining men for single Leos. Blah blah blah....."
(from FEMALE Horoscope)

Yeah, the year is coming to an end and where are the locations that are raining men? *rolleyes*

Make me happy for nothing only..... lolzzz

百年修来共船渡，千年修得共枕眠

Was browsing my frends' profiles. Sent 2 testis of birthday wishes to my 2 NSF boys . They were a great help to me then. :) Time pass wor, it was like 4 years ago? Haa..

Some of my frends' status changed from Single to In a Relationship, some vice versa.

Realised there is this 2nd degree frend whom I had 一面之缘 in Sec 2. There were chances that a frendship might developed. After that, on-off I still get to see him, but maybe 我们缘分还没到，we are still not acquainted...haa

百年修来共船渡，千年修得共枕眠。 Really have to treasure your spouse.... 缘分得来不易啊！

Pride and Prejudice

Was watching the above mentioned Jane Austen's classic DVD yesterday. Got the main theme of the story, but think will go borrow the printed version to fully appreciate the story. Pride will make us miss some of life's greatest opportunities and relationships. Prejudice will make us miss the chance to know another beneath the skin and will result in missing 1 potential great relationship and friendship.

Such is the arrogance of human beings. And life always make a fool of man by making it such that "Sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with is the one person you can't be without." It is fortunate that both Mr Darcy and Elizabeth can put aside their pride and face their true feelings. It will be such a pity if one of them did not see the light. But that is how the reality is...... pity.