太傻

是我太乐观了，是时候放弃了.....

盖被

最近天气好冷，好想叫他记得盖被。我是不是很傻？
偏心是人之常情，总有不对等地对待......

Well, school is starting, maybe my hectic schedule will lessen my egony bah...(which I doubt so... haiz)

Brain Matters

Hey hey, seen real brain matters for the first time in my life today! Went for an RTA, I dun even know it was the brain. I tot it was some kind of innards i.e the intestine etc. The apperance is not jelly beancurd-like as what some of them described. It looked more like the raw chicken meat with fats but come to think of it, it did look pretty soft-like. So.... my prev anxiety on stunning when I see brain matters is no longer valid, cos now I know I will still be okay if I see it. The next challenges are [s]decapition[/s] decapitation and hanging case. :p Of cos I won't wish for them..... but we shall see if I have the chance bah....

Working for another 2 days and I am already yawning away. *yawn*. K bah, shall end here.....

Dinner with Ah Cheng

Hmmm...just came back from dinner with Ah Cheng. Haha, enjoyed our date man. We talked a lot and I think we belong to the same type of ppl. Guess tt's because we have the same view of what BGR is and acknowledge our weakness. Though we know the rules and what it is , there is really nothing we can do about it cos we are all in the game. Haha. Also long time no spar with him on poems le. No inspirations *shrug*.

We share the same taste for songs also. Haha, its him who is "chao lao" lor. Not from the same era....:p

Is there really a need for a stronger party in a r/s? I guess so cos you need balance in everything. So is it true that 谁沉得住气，谁就占上风？I dun want it to be like this leh. I dun want any power struggle in my r/s. I dun believe in 吊人味口。那不是我的作风。I like it will say, I dun like I will also make it clear. I won't play hard to catch. Is tt good? Like I always say 人是泛贱的动物，太容易得到的东西是不会珍惜的。Sigh...so must 吊高来卖才珍贵？Haha. I dun like to play mind games, so tt means I will always lose out lor... :p

Ah Cheng told me there is only this girl tt makes him have to urge to hug her since his last r/s. He is very happy that there is still someone who can make him feel this way cos he tot his heart was dead. I told him to go ahead.... if he does that when he is sober, be prepared to face the consequences lor.... cos no excuse liao mah. Haha. He is the same pattern as me. Like to 破釜沉舟， 不让自己留后路。Is it very silly of us? Maybe....

Okie, enough of all these love love affair. Kns, 5 calls last nite, with 4 standby cases...-_-". I almost fogot the "new medic curse". There is this belief that new medics very sway one. Sure will kana jialat jialat cases when they first on the run and ya lor, had this new guy with me last nite...*tiano*

Anyway, tt is all for today's update...... 此时的心情也说不上来。算了吧，睡觉去....

After night duty

Hey hey, nothing better to do after night duty so decided to come in here for some nonsense. Just had a thought while on the way home. Why is it that a woman can forgive a strayed husband because of love or kids but you can hardly say tt for the husband? Because of pride? So is that part of culture conditioning too?

Saw this article in today's ST. Is it time to retire our Singapore Girl? There are females who commented that the image she potray is demeaning to women cos she is always the submissive, gentle, demure girl that will see to your every needs. Comments have been flying in such as the need to change the image of the Girl and how SIA should be advertised. Well, I have learnt quite a few types or generations of feminist in my last module. The very first generation was not all against patriarchy, they just want equal rights as the men in terms of education, career etc. So what's wrong with a demure or submissive woman who has a strong character and her own opinions? Do you mean you can only be either but not both? It will challanging and satisfying if you managed to balance both, won't it?

I must admit the media plays a part in reinforcing the image of women as the weaker sex and sexual appealling though it is on the decline. How confusing is that for both women and men.... maybe I am a product of that conditioning too.. :p

Pronunciation class

Haha, guess what? I signed up for a IPAM course on English pronunciation. Learnt phonetics today and all the "ee" "ah" etc etc. It was fun! Hopefully I can remember all that was taught today. We are doing part 2 tomorrow. The lecturer was pretty boring, but the objectives were met. I will be doing more reading aloud and well, though I am not so interested in listening to BBC, she said we have to make some sacrifices in order to improve the languge. Hey hey, and 1 more thing, typical Singapore English, we speak too fast. Too fast. Will have to slow down the pace....( I am reading out loud while typing this entry...hahaha)

Hmm, guess the next course to sign up for will be a grammar class.... the 4 books are a bit dry.. -_-" But I will try my best to finish them all.

Paid up for my Rumba dance class today. I do hope I have the time to attend the classes. Just so sian that I have to exchange duties with the rest. I was deliberating to pay up or not. Then I said to myself, if I dun start now, when am I going to start? Might as well jump into the sea and see where the flow brings me. Rite?

Haven't been talking to Xiaofeng for quite some time liao. Guess he must also be thinking I am pretty busy to even offer a meal or his dance performance.

Supposed to arrange a dinner date with Andrew whom I haven met up for 2 years! Awaiting for his confirmation. Hope he doesn't just disappear into the air while waiting for his confirmation like the last time. Haha. He is still single. Haiz, another victim of long distance and long time relationship. Guess it is just difficult to work out if the couple has been patohing for a long long time. Well, tt's life. THAT is modern life. Deep down in all gers heart, we want an everlasting love, a love of our life time. 1 is enough. Tt is an utopian idea. Are guys secretly having this kind of longing too? I dun know, but I believe so. If this is true, when will I meet this guy? I'm waiting, waiting, waiting.... (for the reply) is it coming anytime soon?

Memories

Was prepping the uniforms for the photo session and came across this T-shirt that I've sealed up too. This t-shirt was designed by Wenqing, one of my classmate in Sec school. She is very talented in the arts field and is a walking Chinese dictionary too....wahaha. Saw my name at tt funny position? She forgotten my name and filled it in last min. Now.... tt makes me prominent didn't it? :p



We were from 4S2. So clever of her hor. This kinda momento must keep. You will never be 16 years old again... :p

Haiz...tots

Haiz, saw some drawn pictures today. When was the last time I drew something? I mean real pictures and not diagrams or graphs or rough sketches to convey my point. Haiz..... think lost my drawing skills le. Used to be quite good at drawing when young. Shit, I dun want to lose that skill.

I saw some scenery photos of some of the countrysides on the papers too. Wah, I really want to make a trip to see all the colors of the world. I want to see how God had creatively blend the colors togther. Rem the song "Colors of the Wind" ? " Can you paint with all the colors of the Wind..." Yes, magnificent colors, magnificent nature, flowers, sun, sky, clouds, rain, I love all! I rem I once told a frend that this world is worth living only for the sunsets, the sunrise, the flower field, the nature sceneries. Hmm.... my next aim is to go to these places and see for myself. Have you ever felt so touched, that you wanna cry when you see a scenery? I want to have that feeling and I believe I will. I want to show all my emotions and how I feel with no reservations. Gee..... still waiting for that big break of striking lottery...:p

I am thinking of some other concerns and ideas, but shall continue in my next entry bah.... tt's all for now.

2007

Hey hey, Happy New Year to all! *wave*. Well, I did my count down at the firepost on 31 Dec 2006. Haha, I have got 10 calls, the most since I joined the force. Maybe I'm just too ignorant, but I'm on the job for only 1 year! (Okay, 2 1/2 years including training...) Hesper even went all the way to cover Pasir Ris and reached! By 0500hrs, our incident no. was already 115.. meaning we have 115 calls since the clock striked midnight!

Man, was I tired.. *yawn*. K, did some housework today, spent most of the day watching TV. Gotta do my serious housework tml. Did I mention I score A- for this module? YEAH!! Shall continue my good work...;)

1 liner

"Dun be too frendly with me if you are not interested. Please... dun make me
fall for you if you are not there to catch me...."

2007 Resolutions

Kay, now for the new year resolutions.....*drum roll*

2007 New Year Resolutions

1. Family
Do more housework, be more sensitive to mum's needs.

2. Career
Do my job well, be more professional and strive to get at least a compliment (to prove that I have done well and to feed my ego :p)

I will also set up my sideline and look for markets to sell. Though the predictions for 2007 is not good (more on this in my next entry), think I will still carry on with the plan so that I am prepared should my luck turn for the better.

3. Hobbies
Join dance classes and maybe rock climbing if time permits. Gotta get back my engergy and adventurous streak. You gotta live life to the fullest and indugle in your passion rite? Life will be meaningless if you can't do what you love.

4. Social
Be more open and meet people through activities. Might meet someone [s]with[/s] of romancing calibre or help in my networking :p

5. Finance
Save enough money for cash investment. Spend too much money this year le. Work towards at least 6mths that the money inflow is more than the outflow.

6. Well-being and health
Eat my vitamins and supplements diligently. Must, must, must! And not to be lazy to apply all my creams and lotions. Haizzz....

7. Studies
Continue with my strive for Bs in my course of study. Also will be buying dictionaries and put in effort to improve my English and Chinese language.

*List is not exhaustive. Shall add more if there is a need..:)

Predictions for Snakes in 2007

Tada.... mum brought back the 2007 predictions for the different zodic signs. Haiz, not too good a year for the Snakes leh... :(

It was predicted that things will not go so smoothly for us. Efforts will be flash down the drain so we have to be on high alert mode. Snake males will be easily sway or take advices from people so it is very important to 带眼识人. For snake females, we will be pretty lonely in the affairs of the heart department and have to be extra careful so as to prevent ppl from 趁虚而入.

Career wise will pose a lot of challenges for those in business in particular. Have to really look at the cash flow to prevent any miscalculations.

Money wise not very good. Again, special attention has to be paid especially in terms of investment (think maybe I will not invest this year, but shall accumulate my wealth and wait for a better chance to strike).

Love wise, not a fruitful year.You might meet the one you like but 有缘无份，难以擦出爱情的火花. Kaoz, it was predicted so good for the love department this year but I am still single! And now with this not so good prediction for next year....DUH!!! Haiz..... :(

Well, guess we always belive the good things and try to shrug away the bad predictions as not true.... so maybe I shall take this with a pinch of salt. Haha :p .Anyway, can take it as a reference, but shouldn't depend too much on these things as fate and luck will change. All the best for year 2007 bah! ;)

CREATING YOUR 2007

CREATING YOUR [s]2006[/s]2007: 6 areas that would make a difference

You don't need to spend more then half a day putting effort into impacting these areas that would really make a difference in how your 2007 will turn out. Initiating these get you clear on what you need to see, and do.

Reflection of the last year: Hindsight equips us with the ability to spot, pick out and contemplate what did and didn't go well in the last year. With a clear, detached overview of what happened in the past, it makes lessons learnt easier to swallow. This wisdom allows you to implement what you would do differently this time round.

Intention: How are you going to create 2007? What is it you are making important for this year? Where is your focus going to be? What do you want to make happen? How is your life going to be impacted? Generate at least 1 commitment for each area of your life e.g. family, social networks, career, finance, hobbies etc.

Will: There is a difference between a Ferrari with a tank full of fuel, and one which is running on low. The fuel to your Ferrari is your willpower. It feeds the engine that drives the car. How much do you desire what you want? Are you just setting a goal because it sounds nice, or are you conscious of how important it really is to you? Determine how willing you are to do what it takes to get there, even if it means taking on new paths to your goal.

Energy: Allocate accordingly where you want to channel your energies to. Efforts should be focused on things that make a difference and bring in the results that you desire. It is inevitable that you will have to go through struggles to get there, and getting mindful and intentional about why you chose it in the first place will recreate much needed energy to pull through.

Skills / Knowledge: What are the skills and/or knowledge required to get you want you want? How are you going to equip yourself with what you need? The more competent you are in your skills, the more effective you are (which equals less stress, mistakes and suffering in that area!). So be sure to spend some time on loading yourself up with the necessary skills and knowledge.

Actions / habits: Setting up of new plans does require and include the kind of actions needed to support them. What would these be? For example, in my commitment to meet more people, I will need to initiate and get involved in conversations. I need to attend more social functions, thus cultivating myself as a people person. Desires forward action, and action forwards desires.

All you need to do is to get clear on the above, and record it down as a reminder. With a clear focus of your year ahead, you won't have to worry about going off track. Once that is done, take a deep breadth and get ready for action. You will thank yourself at the end for having lived such a fulfilling year!

---

Ha, this entry was orginally for 2006, but it should work for 2007 also lar.... :p. Relook 2006 and plan for 2007! Yeah!

Review of 2006 resolutions

List of 2006 NY Resolution

1. Do my best for my studies
Done
2. Re-read ECS and Merks Book
Haha, not done.. :p
3. Buy a digital cam and laptop (ipod nano is bonus)
No digi cam but got myself a Creative Zen V and a laptop v^_^
4. Go for a holiday
Done, finally sat on the plane for 2006 le
5. Improve on self-discipline

• Finished using the beauty products and cosmetics before buying new ones. Think I have been very wasteful, throwing away old ones tat I lost interest and buying new ones
  Okay lar, I have been very conscientious in finishing whatever product I have before buying.
  
• Be presentable. Dress up no matter where I go. At least put on tinted moisturiser. (that will help me use up the old products and can buy new ones...heee)
  Done, at least now I bother to dress better and put on makeup whenever I can
  
• Work on the tools from TCC for greater achievements in work and in studies
  Eh, this mah.... not much results leh....*whistle*

6. Give mum enjoy more
She not interested. Maybe can hire a maid once sis got her own flat.
7. Ready to explore, improve and accept myself better
YEAH! This is the one I'm really proud of! Finally found a footing and got back my confidence! Of cos, there is much more for me to improve myself but I'm really glad to have found back myself...*BIG GRIN*

---

Not as good result as last year's. Maybe my goals were not focused enough. But there is always the next year to better myself.... :)

Rain rain go away...

Wah.... raining non-stop for 2 days straight and today was the first time in my life to see a flood in Singapore! Was travelling back from Senoko Delgro and witnessed the flood in Mandai and Woodlands. I was so excited in the ambulance that I kept telling my driver "take picture, take picture". And I took only 1 cos it is not so nice if public see you taking pictures from an ambulance rite? You never know what these public can complain about.... -_-"



Saw some cars were stranded along the road... hiaz. Luckily ambulances are high...haha.

The flooding reminded me of a joke circulating when I was still schooling. No offence to the schools mentioned. :p Do you know why Chinese High and Dumen High boys wear short pants as their uniform? Cos Bt. Timah area used to be flooded always so the shorts will remove the hussle of the boys rolling up their pants! Can't rem who I heard this from... think was from a teacher..Ahaha. And whenever we saw anyone rolling up their pants, the immediate reaction would be " Your moutain there flooded ar? If not why are all the moutain turtles (sua kus) swimming out?" (Incidentally there is hill in Bt Timah also) *LOL*

Hmm.... raining season, nice weather to sleep, cosy if you are indoors, pity if you are outdoors. Haha.

Lemme update some photos of my cutie nephew. He now has a signature greeting gesture for me. He will make a hippcuping sound to greet me when I come back from work. I was thinking why he did tt when my mum provided the answer....he was mimicking my laughter.... -_-"



Handsome little boy..... and he is very very active and naughty. Well guess that's what little boys are made of. Mum said his naughty behaviour can fight with me... wahaha.

Gen T

Just came back from PJ's wedding. Not a lot of batch boys this time round. 1 table only. I always feel comfortable with them.... even when they are teasing me for their own amusement (ba zhi ji de kuai le jian li zai wo de tong ku shang) -_-". How come I can be so comfortable with them? Izzit the fact that we have been living together for 4 months? Or that I can speak my mind and know they won't get offended so easily? Izzit that they are more open-minded?

Haizz, have attended numerous military wedding le. But the sabotage is always the same few. Say "I love you" in diff languges lar, sing a song lar, carry the bride lar...eh, can they think of something else? Chris said he machiam like signed-on sword bearer like tt. Wahaha. I used to imagine the wedding dinner with charlie. We will have 6 pairs of sword bearers, half from Navy and half from Army. And I think we can expect a very rowdy crowd from the 2 services lor....wahaha. Somemore both me and charlie are sporting types, they sure use the chance to sabo us. Plus Charlie is such a crap person and full of wacky ideas to sabo newly weds....haha, think his future wedding will kana double of what he did to other ppl... :p

Ian is now a DO (Division Officer) to the Midshipmen in Mids Wing (we call our Navy officer cadets Midshipmen) and he was pouring his woes to us. Now then he realised how our DOs felt when they took us under their wings...wahahaha. And he was complaining now they emphasies on "Heartware education" (ai le jiao yu). Now cannot anyhow tekan le hor. Later they complain you ar.... and they call themselves "coaches". Supposed to "coach"... not scold. No degrading words too. DUH!! Then what kind of military training is that? Rem once Viz commented on the new generation of RC cadets..their IC starts with the letter "T" instead of "S" and the "T" stands for "Toufu" generation.... *rolleyes*

Same old things

Ha, bought my mary janes le... and bought another knee-high stocking. Kaoz, will I be dressing like the meimeis? *faints* Hmm... spend quite a lot this year-end. Bought a lot of things for myself.. :p Wanted to get a new vacuum cleaner for mum but she said the present one still workable albeit a broken part. Should I feel guilty about spending so much on myself? A bit lor.... :(
Hmm... decided to venture into a part-time biz and see if it works. Gonna use my skills in doing crafts to sell. Aye, we see how it goes bah.
Read a book by Li Min. Romance again (what else). It is so easy to have misunderstanding between 2 person. Those angry words that are spoken aloud when you dun mean it, the pride of admiting you are wrong or that you treasure that person. The irrtitablity when you are misunderstood, the desperation and helplessness of your lover's inferior complexity. The deadlock when both are too distaught to think of an amicable solution. Hiazz..... -_-"
Really really really have to wake up and be conscientious when you are aruguing or when you are angry. Doesn't pay to be impulsive and think there is no way out except break-up.....but sometimes tt is the only way out. *shrug*

New me, old me

Went for my fourth collapse case yesterday. Hmm, first time try antecubital vein and got it! Yeah! Managed to give 1 shock but the patient was pronounced dead in the hospital nevertherless. :( Haiz, the vunerability of human life....

Brother called me yesterday and update me on his acceptance to a fine-dining resturant in Pan Pac. Glad that he is finally awake! Finally... after 25 years! Sad that I wasn't with him when he made the decison. He had called me for a discussion on signing on with the Navy. But I was too busy with my exam that time. So in the end, he made the decision after talking to his friends. It takes effort from everyone in the family to make sure the bonding of the family remains firm. And humans are such ingrates that take things for granted.

Feeling sad again. A bit no life. Where have all my energy gone? Where has the enthusiasm I had for outdoor activities gone? Where have all my kick-ass aspirations gone? I was looking at the firewoman section comd in my station during the morning parade. I would have loved to go thru the tough training, of displaying that women have what it takes to play a role in a industry dominated by males too. I would love to reinstate the kind of respect my peers had of me when I was still in the force. Where have all my fighting spirit went to? I sorta miss the old me..... but I also understand you can't stay at the same place as you go through your life. Guess it is still an uphill journey for me to slowly incoperate my previous traits into the new me yet maintaining the balance. Hmmm, okie since it is already the end of the year, this shall be my new year resolution for 2007 bah..*wink*

Oh yes, and I shall also fine-tune my criteria for my better half too....heeee

What Tarot Card are you?

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Quote from friend

Saw this posted on my friend's frendster homepage.

Priorities--"Devoting a little of yourself to everything means commiting a great deal of yourself to Nothing"

Eh, pretty true wor......