Expectations

Hihi, been too lazy to update these few days. Just dun have the mood. :( Dun feel like discussing anything. Have decided not to think abt anything and just concentrate on my Paramedic course first. Why make myself miserable? Think I have enough in my hands now. At first, still think I'm savagable with my mobid tots of marriage and having kids, but think it smashed with my conversation with mum this morning. Haizzz..... is it justifiable (天经地义) ? I understand you do have a responsibility to your parents as they are still responsible for bringing you here and to provide for you. What happens if your children fails you? Will you feel sad? Will you feel that your life was wasted on these kids that doesn't turn out to be what you expected? 你会有何感受入果你奉献一生照顾孩子，家庭，丈夫，可到头来换的是孩子的不出息，丈夫的莫不关心，该怎么办?

I know I should take a step at a time and of cos life will be filled with challamges, but I'm still not ready to embark on the next pharse in life. I'm really scared of the future, for my family. Will I be a bad influence to my kids since I have those negative tots abt life? Will my hubby stay faithful to me? Will I love my hubby as much as when we first fell in love? Much as I wanted to acknowlage the feelings, is he The One? Will he be the One to give me the confidence again?

Just like what I put on my MSN. Dun think abt him anymore, gotta concentrate on my course for now..... chaozzz