Evolution of my couple behaviour

Yo, another entry on myself... narcissistic hor? :p

Well, I have been thinking these few days on how much I have changed in terms of my behavior in a relationship. Started since 16...haha. I'm sure there are much changes.

I was not really into holding hands or holding waist with my first love. I was independent and boyish. Need no pampering. He complaint I was not feminine enough. That I was okay with or without love or partner. Steadfast on what I expect from a boyfriend and his behavior. I was the go-getter and winner. Never a whimper.

But as I grow older and had more relationships, I started to learn about how to behave and expect from my various partners. I learn that I should be more feminine. I learn to be romantic and create memories on special events. I learn to enjoy pampering from my boyfriends. I learn that communication is VERY VERY important in a relationship. Must always communicate your tots and feelings about your partners to them. How they make you feel, how they are upsetting you. Showing appreciation by a simple "thank you" for the time and effort they spent on you. Even for just loving me. Everyone likes to be appreciated and acknowledged. That you should show your love not only by words, but by physical contact too. A simple kiss on the cheek, a simple hug at the end of the day. I've evolved to be more mushy, more girly, know how to 撒娇 more with each relationship. Guess my bfs have all spoilt me... :p

However,some common comments they have of me was that I have the mentality of a guy. I know what I want in a relationship, never draggy, never needy. I love myself more than any of them. That I am very relax on their reins and they have all the freedom to do their things and meet their friends.

Then I guess age and things I saw changed me. I thought I should not be such a superwoman and be a "小女人" afterall. That I should place relationship as the top priority. Seems it doesn't work that way anyway. Some people find that too "sticky" or "needy". Isn't it ironic that things dun work out the way when I change my style? Maybe I should go back to how I behave in the begining.

Or maybe the challenge is for me to know when to be superwoman and when to be "小女人". But really, I can't see myself revolving just around a guy. I still can't be a "小女人". I cannot take it down that I have to be the one changing and making the relationship work. I dun think this is the way a relationship should be.

But I can't help wanting to take it up as a challenge? Hmmm..... 人很泛贱 hor?