Leaders and Managers

For the past couple of weeks the singapore internet has been abuzz with chatter over the “proposed” pay hike for ministers and senior civil servants. Certainly more so than it would appear in the mainstream media. First, let’s just get a few things straight- one, the pay hike is pretty much a done deal, all the so-called debate is just a wayang show. Two, this pay hike is not a general pay hike for every single civil servant out there, mostly it will be the ministers and the senior grade civil servants who will be seeing a pay hike.

Its the same arguments on both side of the fence since the day the government decided to benchmark their payscale according to the private sector. I don’t think both sides will ever come to an agreement. It is what it is.

I can understand the need to pay a fair wage. Afterall, this is what everyone is working for isn’t it? But how do you decide what is fair wage? The world has become a topsy turvy world. Our priorities are all screwed up. I mean, an american soldier fighting in iraq, who puts his life on the line everyday, what does he get in comparison with Kevin Garnett or LeBron James. Those 2 guys who plays a children’s game will get paid more playing one game of basketball than a soldier probably ever will in his lifetime. Even within the same profession you can find people who sometimes due to luck and circumstances are paid far more than what they are worth. David Beckham who makes more money than anyone other football player is probably not even in the list of top 10 football players in the world. So is that fair?


Yet, our ever pragmatic government has decided, they must be paid a fair wage and they have all the facts and statistics to back them up. If you look at it purely from a pragmatic and economical viewpoint, I am sure its pretty much impecable and ironclad. I am not so unreasonable as to not see the logic within their argument. But ofttimes, in this world of ours, things usually go beyond black or white, right and wrong. There are always shades of grey. Sometimes being too pragmatic and logical can be detrimental to yourself.


The leaders in the government wants to be paid like executives. So is it any wonder that singapore is being runned like a corporation. Singapore Inc. Well, its hard to feel anything for the country when you find yourself being treated more like an employee than a citizen. At times, I wonder if the people within the government even knows the difference. They can talk all about national pride, loving your country and making sacrifices, but all it is is just empty talk and hollow rhetoric if they continue to treat people like economic units.

I no longer harbour any illusions about singapore. I know I am appreciated and tolerated as long as I am economically productive, but the day wil come when I will outlive my usefulness. What then? Already the government is talking about shipping the old and elderly out to nearby countries. Hey, its all about being pragmatic isn’t it. Out of sight, out of mind.

If you ask me today, will I lay down my life for singapore, I might ask you to fuck off if I am in a good mood. Where’s my sense of patriotism? Well, I am just being pragmatic like Lee Hsien Loong. Afterall why should I lay down my life for this country. Whereas, once I wouldn’t think twice about it, now, I know better. Our “leaders” have shown the way for the rest of the nation, who am I to say different. If they think being paid $1.2 million for their troubles is too little, who are they to start asking me to make sacrifices. They are looking out for number 1, so why shouldn’t I?

And if I call them leaders of the country, I am just being overly generous. They may think they are leaders, but all they are is just managers. They don’t lead the country, they manage it. There’s a difference. Think leader, think Leonidas in 300. Leaders will make you willingly do the things you don’t want to do. Leaders will inspire you to be better than you are. Leaders will make you want to put your life on the line for a greater cause. Leaders will give you courage when before you have none.

Look at the people in the government, anyone strike you as particularly leaderlike? I can understand zyberzitizen when he says he don’t feel inspired when looking at the current generation of leaders. These guys aren’t leaders, they are managers. Managers are people who you listen to because you have to, not because you want to. Managers are people who you don’t give a fuck about once they are not around. Managers are people who you obey only beause you have to and not out of respect. Not every manager is a leader. And not every leader is a manager. Sometimes a leader can simply be your peer, but who commands some much respect that you can’t help but want to be led by him.

Somewhere along the line I think Lee Hsien Loong has confused management with leadership. So I guess, we ought to start paying him like a manager, just don’t ask me to look at him as a leader. Sometimes you just can’t have it all.

http://www.insanepoly.com/blog/?p=316

---

Talking sense....

缘

hmm... pretty sad that my friend is still thinking about that 昙花一现的情缘。But I also understand the affairs of heart is not so easily understandable by 3rd parties. Anyway, this is just a 插曲，主题曲都还没上榜呢！;)

Well, I want to thank you for being there for me. I also know you have a lot of 红粉知己，但我也希望你能依靠我的肩膀，当你需要的时候，就像你如何扶持我。别看我瘦巴巴的，肩上能扛的却不少哦！Haha....

This is for you......(I know you will "see open" one)

世间缘起又缘灭，人生不过梦一回。莫笑世间情意玄，只怕醒时已成烟。“缘起缘灭，梦醒成烟”。只要好好地珍惜每一份缘，结果是怎样也不是那么重要了，不是吗？

舍得

舍得...舍得....要舍才可得... haha. Wise words!

Guess I dun wanna think so much, just let things happen and I will just sit there and look pretty.... ^^

Sucessful

Yeah! Just got the letter from school that my application for transfer of prog is successful! Hopefully I can excel better in Sociology bah.

Borrowed a book on Mind Mapping technique. Shall put that into use once I've finished the book. Seems quite interesting leh.

Well, a lot of things to do leh. Let's see

1. Train my right and left mind to interact by doing the...what's the name, "Visual Thinking". That shall train up the untapped portion of my brain!

2. Finished the Mind Mapping book and put it into practise

3. Eat supplements every nite. Gotta finish those bottles.

4. Drink DOM everynite, so as to maintain the my 气色

5. Gotta savour the every sec that I will be putting in for my dance practice. Take it as a form of relaxation and focus my mind and body for every session.

6. Live happily and fruitfully!

The TV station just finished playing "情陷夜中环2". Suddenly have this affiliation to Hong Kong after my trip. My friend said he felt like going back for shopping... I teased him that he very rich lor, like those rich man, fly to Japan for sushi, fly to Italy for spaghetti....wahahaha. But hor, me also feel like going back leh...hurhur. :p Why the sudden affiliation leh? 是人，是物还是事？说不上来，可能都有吧！

Happened to peep into my sec school autograph book while looking for the term "Visual Thinking". (This was actually a self-development course specially run for my school. Hmm... think it costed quite a bomb! :p). Read what my friends wrote abt me. Guess I'm not so much different from then. Adjectives like cheerful, energetic, happy-go-lucky, fun-loving especially 活泼，开朗 kept poping up in almost every entry by my friends. (Maybe they dun know what to write so copy each other's..haha). And words like hard-working and having positive outlooks from teachers.... I am really quite a hardworking student 哦! Haha.. I always say myself "老王卖瓜", you know why? Cos the next pharse is "自卖自夸"! :p

Okay, lets put what I have learnt into practise. The words above are my presonalities. Hmmm... cos these qualities have been pretty consistant in my behaviour, untill now. Actually, these qualities start to be apparent to me only in my teens... have I missed it while growing up? Guess this is what Erickson termed as the stage of "Identity Crisis" whereby you examine yourself and developed the identity and personality that you think you are. How you see yourself and how the world sees you.

Hmm... feeling positive tonight. Shall leave those serious and nagging thots for another time. Good Nite!

P.S. Long long time never write poems le... shall find some time to do it. 身心要健康嘛! V ^^

心情像天气

唉，心情真像天气啊！昨天还好好的，今天就糟透了！:( Maybe it has been sometimes since I last did physical stuffs bah. The new workyear is coming, I should take this chance to do some running and swimming to prep for IPPT le. Haiz... feel real sianzz.

Hate the feeling of being a sandwich and hate that I have to take into consideration all people's feelings when handling things. Damn! Should I be unpopular to drive things and ideas across and risk being alienated by the people? Or should I just heck care and do things the way it is supposed to be done? Dun like my driver today. I have problem with this guy. Drive me to my grave. Hate the control today too. The stupid ger was so noisy over the air. Really feel like rebutting her thru the air too.. humph! :(

Feel like shaving my head! But I know I will not have the courage to do that...NATO :p I can feel the tension growing on me. Maybe my colleague is right. I need a man... duh.

And there are this issues on the need to close the gap of the salaries of our minister and top seven professionals. What bs is that? But there is also nothing much we can do. Stage a demostration? Write a petition? Haiz.....

和平的代价

夜幕静悄悄笼罩着家园
离开黎明还有多远
绝望 彷徨 扭曲一张张的脸
走过生死边缘

梦魇 为何象现实一样真
苦难
像大海一样深
仇恨 烧红胸中热腾腾的火
为生命的尊严而战！

多少人用生命
鲜血和理想
换来一线和平的曙光
多少人的生命 鲜血和理想
写成一篇血泪的诗章！

每当我听到这首歌，我就起鸡皮疙瘩。乱世出枭雄，多少人用生命，鲜血和理想，换来一线和平的曙光。和平得来不易，别忘了和平的代价.......

I was talking with mum the other day. We felt that those who survived the war were very very lucky ppl. We should count our blessing....

Joven 1st Birthday!

Yo, yesterday Joven finally turned 1 lor!! Sis got a chalet for him, but more for she and hubby I think *rolleyes*. Here are some photos to share....^^



Cute hor? Happy 1st Birthday Joven! You must grow up to be a good boy yo! ^^

Lazy afternoon

Hmm... had the most expensive tea break this afternoon after a haircut at Kr+ (luckily got the 50% discount promotion ^^). Decided to pamper myself and went to The V Tea Room in Esplanade. Nice setting and ambience of olden victorian furnishing. Very nice place to have afternoon tea with your gerfrends... Tried their in-house speciality, the Baileys Irish Cream Liqueur TeaCake. Hmmmmmm..... delicious! I had the Earl Grey Lavender tea to go with it..ahhh... perfect! I like their in-house cookies too. They have all sorts of flavor, I like the lavander flavor, the rose flavor, the AppleCran berry ones.... and they make very presentable gifts too! Shall get a box as a house warming gift.... :) I was so greedy that it only occured to me after I finished the last bit of cake that I should have taken a pic of it before I stuff it into my mouth... so you guys can drool a bit.. wahaha. Well... here comes the most important part.. it cost me almost $30 for that piece of cake and that pot of tea!!! =.= Haiz.. the price for pampering myself...

Well, did some mental comparision between chinese and english tea. English tea have more flavors and more exotic while chinese tea are more or less tried and tested. Chinese tea is able to make you focus while english tea tend to make you relax.... if you ask me which I like. I prefer english ones. But when I want to focus and being healthy.. chinese is the way to go! Note: The above are purely my personnal opinions without any scientific claim... :p

Got back my TMA results le.. I scored 77. Eh....okay lar. Hope I can get better since this time round 40 marks are given i.e. straight forward answer.

K... getting Zzzzzz liao. Working day tomorrow. Nite!

Tidy Up

Hmm.... my room is in a mess. Gotta clear all rubbish out after I submit my TMA. Deleted some of my prev entries and made some modification to others. Felt so much better after deleting those negative energy away.... ^^

又是到了情绪大扫除的时间了，请和我一起拿起扫帚，把不快乐的情绪与心情统统扫掉吧！

刚才看到一张照片，惊讶自己为何那么不聪明。不明白当初为何为了这事而使自己不愉快。看清了，看透了，人也清爽了！^^

In sooth, I know not why I am so sad

Fliped back Act 1 Scene 1 of Merchant of Venice thanks to Christina. I think I now appreciate the play more than ever. Maybe that should be the way. We should revisit whatever we have encountered or studied before and savour what new feelings and meanings those words for us.

"In sooth, I know not why I am so sad
It wearies me;
you say it wearies you;
But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,
What stuff 'tis made of,
whereof it is born,
I am to learn;
And such a want-wit sadness makes of me,
That I have much ado to know myself . "

Dun know what I am feeling...

Duh, supposed to write this after my day duty 2 days ago. But I was feeling bad and lazy..... Felt miserable when I went for my last day duty. Dun ask me the reason.. I dun know. I was sulking all the way in firepost. Brought my laptop along to do my TMA but the bag was never opened. Busy day too... din have the time to key in my case records... :(

Had a patient that day. Chief complain was shortness of breath. Medical history is only diabetics. But when I arrived at scene, he was already diaphoretic (drenched in cold sweat). Wah, faster load him into the ambulance and monitor him. His heartbeat was very fast and the oxygen in his blood was very low, his condition was pretty bad. Just before we turned into the A&E, his pulse rate suddenly fluctuate greatly. I was so scared that I immediately prepared my defib pad by the side just in case I need it. And guess what? He went into VF (venticular fibrillation, a shockable rythm) after I unloaded him and on our way into the resucitation room! I shouted "VF!!" and the doctors and nurses all went into action. Managed to get the patient back, thank goodness! I only realised my legs were shaking when I was at the counter doing the registration.....the autonomic system really prep you for "fight and flight" man.. -_-"

But still feel sian the whole day.......zzzzzzz

Burdens/Own responsibility?

Just finished reading mrbrown's webbie and this site has this very interesting entry regarding some response to his previous posting. "Pre-screen your babies to save society the burden, says reader". Read all the comments on that post and I must say I agree mostly with John Smith. If the parents knowingly decided to keep the child with abnormilities even when in the womb, then they should be responsible for the upbringing of the child. Of cos, additional help is always appreciated but if no help is given, then they should bear all responsibility to bring the child up no matter what. We all know how parents love their children no matter how they turn out to be, its parental instinct and I believed parents will do all they can to ensure the most comprehensive care is given to their precious.

There will be ppl who argue with this point, that an abnormal child will have a more difficult childhood then a healthy child. Have the parents consider the discriminations that the child has to go thru for the rest of his/her life? Have they consider how this is going to affect his/her mental state? Are they prepared to shoulder the blame should the child blames them for bringing him/her to this world? Who should take care of them when the parents grow old and die? I am not saying the children will have no value in the society... tt is so unfair. What I am driving at is the responsiblity of the parents. Yea.... in the most ideal world, the world will be filled with love and care. Everyone are brothers and sisters, we shall care for each other with no personal agenda whatsoever. But...... do we see it now? What I see is just practical, cold, hard reality of life! People have evolved... into practical, goal-oriented or should I say to a certain extent... robots.

Yes, go ahead and have tons of kids when you can't even feed yourself, go ahead and educate your kids that less is more and be thankful just for the chance to come into this world. Call me pathetic, heatless or just morbid, I do wish I was not born. Even I am a healthy, able-bodied being. Why bring a life to this world knowing its ugly, its painful and I see no meaning in living? I dun know, maybe you can argue that I am in no position to speak for anyone, even the foetus in the womb. Maybe..... they will lead a more meaningful life than me and not blame me for bringing them into this world.

Outgrown

Yo, been reading the comments for my previous entries and at the same time read the entries themselves. Hmm... I have been writing since 2005 leh. Written so many things le. And of cos as with all diaries, certain feelings will be evoke when you re-read them. Well, glad that most of the problems troubling me last time had already been sorted out. Yeah!

Finished "Princess Hours" le. So sweeeet and touching! Hmmm.... count your blessing if you found someone who dotes and will be able to take care of you. I guess although Charlie was a good catch, maybe I still do not have the confidence that he is the one that I can rely on for the rest of my life bah. Maybe tt accounts for my relectuance towards a marriage with him. *Shrug*

无题

日久生情，由怜生爱，不是不可能发生的事情。倘若发生在你身上，你会珍惜它么？

不需太多的千言万语，无需华丽的礼物，只要一句关心的话语，只要知道不是孤军作战，我就有勇气面对将面临的挑战。

I remembered I was very unsettled inn one of my previous relationship. I requested my then boyfriend over the phone to say " 请不要放弃这段感情 ". Although it was just words and there wasn't any promise, it enabled me to put my unsettling feelings into perspective. Please do not underestimate the power of comforting words because you never know your words can make someone stronger not alone. Please do not forget to say these to your love ones. Let them know your feelings to prevent misunderstanding and to let them know you will be there for them. 爱情的道路原本就是需要两人携手迈进的。

Personality

Had my lecture yesterday. Interesting topic... we discussed personality. Personality traits are persistent behaviour of a person. Meaning, in most situation, that person will display that kinda behaviour. There are theories on describing what kind of personalities are out there and theories on what causes personality. It sounded stupid and illogical when Hippocrates (an ancient philosopher/physician) suggested that personality has to do with the fluid in our body... thus creating a basis for ideas like what personality to which blood group. Then there was William Sheldon's Somatotype, which suggested personality has to do with body shape.... *rolleyes*. I mean I felt quite ridiculous about these theories when I was studying them yesterday and think that the most logical theory to explain our personality is probably due to our brain and cognative activites! However, I still remember not so long ago, I am still very interested in books explaining personalities according to our blood type and zodic sign. Duh.... how do you explain that? Why is it that ppl are still so into understanding personalities other than scientific explainations.. myself included? Hmmmm... something for me to think about. Tell me if you know... or I'll post again when I find out... heh heh.

Haiz.... chasing the korean drama "Princess Hours". Hee.. the princess very cute lor. So young, so exciting and so innocent their love concept was. Will I be able to feel that way again? Well, call me lazy or dreamer.... I hope my love will fall from the sky... Best if he can be as tender and loving as the leads (plus handsome)....wahahah.

Update

Oh... just realised I never update for quite some time le. Haiz, I was working on CNY eve and over the holidays and I found out that there were a lot of DOAs over these few days. All pretty old liao, my colleague said perhaps they were able to leave peacefully after the reunion dinner and seeing that there was no need to worry for the family. Maybe bah, but I still feel bad having to announce the bad news to them. On NY some more....haiz. Life is really short and fragile man. Please treasure it yeah?

最近心情不是很漂亮，再强悍的灵魂也有脆弱的时候，不过我一定能克服！加油！

Articles from Her World

In these days and age, are there really marriages for those tt truly love each other and willing to work towards a fruitful marriage? That both won't just give up at the slightest adversity, that both respect each other and adhear to fidelity, that both really care for each other and not to fear or guard against each other? Is it only wishful thinking on my part to hope for such a marriage? To all my friends out there, I really wish that you guys will have a blessful marriage and have that significant other to walk with you for the rest of your lives. :)

Finally

Finally finished my TMA liao!! Just submitted. YEAH! K, can update my blog properly le. CNY holiday just passed. Haiz, quite different from last year CNY lor. I was so enthusiastic and keep posting greetings and full of hope for the new year. Look at me this year....kns, no mood for anything. :(
Hopefully can get my energy back.

Caught up with Sam recently. 1 funni guy. Haha. I like his MSN tagline " 童话休止符 ~ 童话般的结局 仙境中的梦 总有醒来的时候 " It really is time to wake up, but I believe all of us deep down really want to believe happily ever after is possible... haha. What is life without hope? :p

He has this compilation of qoutes and there are a few which I like

"我的傷痛是因你的承諾"

"過去的日子 像在慢慢放下重擔 但當重擔放下後 又捨不得那種感覺"

"就算愛你是錯 我也願意一直錯下去"

and this one he told me, he immediately tot of me
haha....it really is me..:p

"明知跟你沒機會 卻總是等著奇蹟出現 我這樣的笨想法會令你感動嗎"

"寧願開始孤獨,也不要繼續糊塗去愛你"

"不想痛 不等於不再痛"

我对这几句话都很有共鸣，你呢？

---

Just came back from visiting. Kaoz, got a real real surprised when the gers told me about this. A sec school friend of mine has gotten married and her kid is already 1 years old. I din know abt it actually. That is not the only surprise, the most surprising thing is her husband was a fomer teacher in my school! Can you beat tt? I mean we have heard and watched on TV 师生恋 but a real one involving your friend? and the age gap is 28 years apart! Actually we already sense that they were close when in school that time but who would have tot it really happen? No. I am not prejudiced against them, I just need some time to absorb all these in. Haiz... "问世间情为何物呢?" But I must admire their guts and courage to go thru this together.....

哭

好久没哭了，真想好好地哭一场！哭，也是一种感情的表达方式罢了。不一定是伤心才哭泣。闷气，怨气，或是感情放纵都能随着泪水流出你体外，让心情更清幽，更平静。我好想哭。。。

SAF Officers Creed

Tada! This is the Singapore Armed Forces Officer's Creed. Garang hor? I know a lot of S'pore guys will snurb at this cos I must agree not all Officers lived up to the creed and possessed the values. However, whenever I read this creed, it gives me lots of courage to face the adversity that I come to face with. It reminds me that I have been thru it, and I can do it again.

Every individual needs some thing to motivate him/her and mine is the memories of enduring and overcoming the training in OCS. Although I am no longer in the force, I still try to remind myself to practise the values.I missed the days when we really push overselves physically and mentally. Do I want to go thru it again? Haha... maybe.

Eh... I was thinking I should go out and meet more people. Perhaps to join a dating agency? :p Maybe I should be more open-minded and not judge a book by its cover. I realised I am more comfortable meeting new people thru mutual friends or in a group setting. I've always thought I am pretty sociable and friendly. Hmm..... maybe its another story if the other party is attractive bah....haha. See... having a nice exterior always have adventages. Sad but true.. *shrug* I should go dating more, maybe I will find that dating is fun actually! :p

Our Lions just won us the Asean Cup at Bangkok moments ago! 3-2! Rrrrrrr..... Way to go! We are the 2nd 3-time winner country after Thailand. Wonder if it will further affect the 2 countries already soured relationship.. haizz.

More Quotes III

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
- Steven Wright

The tongue weighs practically nothing yet few people can hold it!
- foxiii ryder

*Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
- Unknown

A leader is one who sees more than others see, who sees farther than others see, and who sees before others see.
- Leroy Eimes

Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So let's get wasted and have the time of our lives!
- Unknown

You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.
- Al Capone

---

* My fav.....:)

太傻

是我太乐观了，是时候放弃了.....

盖被

最近天气好冷，好想叫他记得盖被。我是不是很傻？
偏心是人之常情，总有不对等地对待......

Well, school is starting, maybe my hectic schedule will lessen my egony bah...(which I doubt so... haiz)

Brain Matters

Hey hey, seen real brain matters for the first time in my life today! Went for an RTA, I dun even know it was the brain. I tot it was some kind of innards i.e the intestine etc. The apperance is not jelly beancurd-like as what some of them described. It looked more like the raw chicken meat with fats but come to think of it, it did look pretty soft-like. So.... my prev anxiety on stunning when I see brain matters is no longer valid, cos now I know I will still be okay if I see it. The next challenges are [s]decapition[/s] decapitation and hanging case. :p Of cos I won't wish for them..... but we shall see if I have the chance bah....

Working for another 2 days and I am already yawning away. *yawn*. K bah, shall end here.....

Dinner with Ah Cheng

Hmmm...just came back from dinner with Ah Cheng. Haha, enjoyed our date man. We talked a lot and I think we belong to the same type of ppl. Guess tt's because we have the same view of what BGR is and acknowledge our weakness. Though we know the rules and what it is , there is really nothing we can do about it cos we are all in the game. Haha. Also long time no spar with him on poems le. No inspirations *shrug*.

We share the same taste for songs also. Haha, its him who is "chao lao" lor. Not from the same era....:p

Is there really a need for a stronger party in a r/s? I guess so cos you need balance in everything. So is it true that 谁沉得住气，谁就占上风？I dun want it to be like this leh. I dun want any power struggle in my r/s. I dun believe in 吊人味口。那不是我的作风。I like it will say, I dun like I will also make it clear. I won't play hard to catch. Is tt good? Like I always say 人是泛贱的动物，太容易得到的东西是不会珍惜的。Sigh...so must 吊高来卖才珍贵？Haha. I dun like to play mind games, so tt means I will always lose out lor... :p

Ah Cheng told me there is only this girl tt makes him have to urge to hug her since his last r/s. He is very happy that there is still someone who can make him feel this way cos he tot his heart was dead. I told him to go ahead.... if he does that when he is sober, be prepared to face the consequences lor.... cos no excuse liao mah. Haha. He is the same pattern as me. Like to 破釜沉舟， 不让自己留后路。Is it very silly of us? Maybe....

Okie, enough of all these love love affair. Kns, 5 calls last nite, with 4 standby cases...-_-". I almost fogot the "new medic curse". There is this belief that new medics very sway one. Sure will kana jialat jialat cases when they first on the run and ya lor, had this new guy with me last nite...*tiano*

Anyway, tt is all for today's update...... 此时的心情也说不上来。算了吧，睡觉去....

After night duty

Hey hey, nothing better to do after night duty so decided to come in here for some nonsense. Just had a thought while on the way home. Why is it that a woman can forgive a strayed husband because of love or kids but you can hardly say tt for the husband? Because of pride? So is that part of culture conditioning too?

Saw this article in today's ST. Is it time to retire our Singapore Girl? There are females who commented that the image she potray is demeaning to women cos she is always the submissive, gentle, demure girl that will see to your every needs. Comments have been flying in such as the need to change the image of the Girl and how SIA should be advertised. Well, I have learnt quite a few types or generations of feminist in my last module. The very first generation was not all against patriarchy, they just want equal rights as the men in terms of education, career etc. So what's wrong with a demure or submissive woman who has a strong character and her own opinions? Do you mean you can only be either but not both? It will challanging and satisfying if you managed to balance both, won't it?

I must admit the media plays a part in reinforcing the image of women as the weaker sex and sexual appealling though it is on the decline. How confusing is that for both women and men.... maybe I am a product of that conditioning too.. :p

Pronunciation class

Haha, guess what? I signed up for a IPAM course on English pronunciation. Learnt phonetics today and all the "ee" "ah" etc etc. It was fun! Hopefully I can remember all that was taught today. We are doing part 2 tomorrow. The lecturer was pretty boring, but the objectives were met. I will be doing more reading aloud and well, though I am not so interested in listening to BBC, she said we have to make some sacrifices in order to improve the languge. Hey hey, and 1 more thing, typical Singapore English, we speak too fast. Too fast. Will have to slow down the pace....( I am reading out loud while typing this entry...hahaha)

Hmm, guess the next course to sign up for will be a grammar class.... the 4 books are a bit dry.. -_-" But I will try my best to finish them all.

Paid up for my Rumba dance class today. I do hope I have the time to attend the classes. Just so sian that I have to exchange duties with the rest. I was deliberating to pay up or not. Then I said to myself, if I dun start now, when am I going to start? Might as well jump into the sea and see where the flow brings me. Rite?

Haven't been talking to Xiaofeng for quite some time liao. Guess he must also be thinking I am pretty busy to even offer a meal or his dance performance.

Supposed to arrange a dinner date with Andrew whom I haven met up for 2 years! Awaiting for his confirmation. Hope he doesn't just disappear into the air while waiting for his confirmation like the last time. Haha. He is still single. Haiz, another victim of long distance and long time relationship. Guess it is just difficult to work out if the couple has been patohing for a long long time. Well, tt's life. THAT is modern life. Deep down in all gers heart, we want an everlasting love, a love of our life time. 1 is enough. Tt is an utopian idea. Are guys secretly having this kind of longing too? I dun know, but I believe so. If this is true, when will I meet this guy? I'm waiting, waiting, waiting.... (for the reply) is it coming anytime soon?

Memories

Was prepping the uniforms for the photo session and came across this T-shirt that I've sealed up too. This t-shirt was designed by Wenqing, one of my classmate in Sec school. She is very talented in the arts field and is a walking Chinese dictionary too....wahaha. Saw my name at tt funny position? She forgotten my name and filled it in last min. Now.... tt makes me prominent didn't it? :p



We were from 4S2. So clever of her hor. This kinda momento must keep. You will never be 16 years old again... :p

Haiz...tots

Haiz, saw some drawn pictures today. When was the last time I drew something? I mean real pictures and not diagrams or graphs or rough sketches to convey my point. Haiz..... think lost my drawing skills le. Used to be quite good at drawing when young. Shit, I dun want to lose that skill.

I saw some scenery photos of some of the countrysides on the papers too. Wah, I really want to make a trip to see all the colors of the world. I want to see how God had creatively blend the colors togther. Rem the song "Colors of the Wind" ? " Can you paint with all the colors of the Wind..." Yes, magnificent colors, magnificent nature, flowers, sun, sky, clouds, rain, I love all! I rem I once told a frend that this world is worth living only for the sunsets, the sunrise, the flower field, the nature sceneries. Hmm.... my next aim is to go to these places and see for myself. Have you ever felt so touched, that you wanna cry when you see a scenery? I want to have that feeling and I believe I will. I want to show all my emotions and how I feel with no reservations. Gee..... still waiting for that big break of striking lottery...:p

I am thinking of some other concerns and ideas, but shall continue in my next entry bah.... tt's all for now.

2007

Hey hey, Happy New Year to all! *wave*. Well, I did my count down at the firepost on 31 Dec 2006. Haha, I have got 10 calls, the most since I joined the force. Maybe I'm just too ignorant, but I'm on the job for only 1 year! (Okay, 2 1/2 years including training...) Hesper even went all the way to cover Pasir Ris and reached! By 0500hrs, our incident no. was already 115.. meaning we have 115 calls since the clock striked midnight!

Man, was I tired.. *yawn*. K, did some housework today, spent most of the day watching TV. Gotta do my serious housework tml. Did I mention I score A- for this module? YEAH!! Shall continue my good work...;)

1 liner

"Dun be too frendly with me if you are not interested. Please... dun make me
fall for you if you are not there to catch me...."

2007 Resolutions

Kay, now for the new year resolutions.....*drum roll*

2007 New Year Resolutions

1. Family
Do more housework, be more sensitive to mum's needs.

2. Career
Do my job well, be more professional and strive to get at least a compliment (to prove that I have done well and to feed my ego :p)

I will also set up my sideline and look for markets to sell. Though the predictions for 2007 is not good (more on this in my next entry), think I will still carry on with the plan so that I am prepared should my luck turn for the better.

3. Hobbies
Join dance classes and maybe rock climbing if time permits. Gotta get back my engergy and adventurous streak. You gotta live life to the fullest and indugle in your passion rite? Life will be meaningless if you can't do what you love.

4. Social
Be more open and meet people through activities. Might meet someone [s]with[/s] of romancing calibre or help in my networking :p

5. Finance
Save enough money for cash investment. Spend too much money this year le. Work towards at least 6mths that the money inflow is more than the outflow.

6. Well-being and health
Eat my vitamins and supplements diligently. Must, must, must! And not to be lazy to apply all my creams and lotions. Haizzz....

7. Studies
Continue with my strive for Bs in my course of study. Also will be buying dictionaries and put in effort to improve my English and Chinese language.

*List is not exhaustive. Shall add more if there is a need..:)

Predictions for Snakes in 2007

Tada.... mum brought back the 2007 predictions for the different zodic signs. Haiz, not too good a year for the Snakes leh... :(

It was predicted that things will not go so smoothly for us. Efforts will be flash down the drain so we have to be on high alert mode. Snake males will be easily sway or take advices from people so it is very important to 带眼识人. For snake females, we will be pretty lonely in the affairs of the heart department and have to be extra careful so as to prevent ppl from 趁虚而入.

Career wise will pose a lot of challenges for those in business in particular. Have to really look at the cash flow to prevent any miscalculations.

Money wise not very good. Again, special attention has to be paid especially in terms of investment (think maybe I will not invest this year, but shall accumulate my wealth and wait for a better chance to strike).

Love wise, not a fruitful year.You might meet the one you like but 有缘无份，难以擦出爱情的火花. Kaoz, it was predicted so good for the love department this year but I am still single! And now with this not so good prediction for next year....DUH!!! Haiz..... :(

Well, guess we always belive the good things and try to shrug away the bad predictions as not true.... so maybe I shall take this with a pinch of salt. Haha :p .Anyway, can take it as a reference, but shouldn't depend too much on these things as fate and luck will change. All the best for year 2007 bah! ;)

CREATING YOUR 2007

CREATING YOUR [s]2006[/s]2007: 6 areas that would make a difference

You don't need to spend more then half a day putting effort into impacting these areas that would really make a difference in how your 2007 will turn out. Initiating these get you clear on what you need to see, and do.

Reflection of the last year: Hindsight equips us with the ability to spot, pick out and contemplate what did and didn't go well in the last year. With a clear, detached overview of what happened in the past, it makes lessons learnt easier to swallow. This wisdom allows you to implement what you would do differently this time round.

Intention: How are you going to create 2007? What is it you are making important for this year? Where is your focus going to be? What do you want to make happen? How is your life going to be impacted? Generate at least 1 commitment for each area of your life e.g. family, social networks, career, finance, hobbies etc.

Will: There is a difference between a Ferrari with a tank full of fuel, and one which is running on low. The fuel to your Ferrari is your willpower. It feeds the engine that drives the car. How much do you desire what you want? Are you just setting a goal because it sounds nice, or are you conscious of how important it really is to you? Determine how willing you are to do what it takes to get there, even if it means taking on new paths to your goal.

Energy: Allocate accordingly where you want to channel your energies to. Efforts should be focused on things that make a difference and bring in the results that you desire. It is inevitable that you will have to go through struggles to get there, and getting mindful and intentional about why you chose it in the first place will recreate much needed energy to pull through.

Skills / Knowledge: What are the skills and/or knowledge required to get you want you want? How are you going to equip yourself with what you need? The more competent you are in your skills, the more effective you are (which equals less stress, mistakes and suffering in that area!). So be sure to spend some time on loading yourself up with the necessary skills and knowledge.

Actions / habits: Setting up of new plans does require and include the kind of actions needed to support them. What would these be? For example, in my commitment to meet more people, I will need to initiate and get involved in conversations. I need to attend more social functions, thus cultivating myself as a people person. Desires forward action, and action forwards desires.

All you need to do is to get clear on the above, and record it down as a reminder. With a clear focus of your year ahead, you won't have to worry about going off track. Once that is done, take a deep breadth and get ready for action. You will thank yourself at the end for having lived such a fulfilling year!

---

Ha, this entry was orginally for 2006, but it should work for 2007 also lar.... :p. Relook 2006 and plan for 2007! Yeah!

Review of 2006 resolutions

List of 2006 NY Resolution

1. Do my best for my studies
Done
2. Re-read ECS and Merks Book
Haha, not done.. :p
3. Buy a digital cam and laptop (ipod nano is bonus)
No digi cam but got myself a Creative Zen V and a laptop v^_^
4. Go for a holiday
Done, finally sat on the plane for 2006 le
5. Improve on self-discipline

• Finished using the beauty products and cosmetics before buying new ones. Think I have been very wasteful, throwing away old ones tat I lost interest and buying new ones
  Okay lar, I have been very conscientious in finishing whatever product I have before buying.
  
• Be presentable. Dress up no matter where I go. At least put on tinted moisturiser. (that will help me use up the old products and can buy new ones...heee)
  Done, at least now I bother to dress better and put on makeup whenever I can
  
• Work on the tools from TCC for greater achievements in work and in studies
  Eh, this mah.... not much results leh....*whistle*

6. Give mum enjoy more
She not interested. Maybe can hire a maid once sis got her own flat.
7. Ready to explore, improve and accept myself better
YEAH! This is the one I'm really proud of! Finally found a footing and got back my confidence! Of cos, there is much more for me to improve myself but I'm really glad to have found back myself...*BIG GRIN*

---

Not as good result as last year's. Maybe my goals were not focused enough. But there is always the next year to better myself.... :)

Rain rain go away...

Wah.... raining non-stop for 2 days straight and today was the first time in my life to see a flood in Singapore! Was travelling back from Senoko Delgro and witnessed the flood in Mandai and Woodlands. I was so excited in the ambulance that I kept telling my driver "take picture, take picture". And I took only 1 cos it is not so nice if public see you taking pictures from an ambulance rite? You never know what these public can complain about.... -_-"



Saw some cars were stranded along the road... hiaz. Luckily ambulances are high...haha.

The flooding reminded me of a joke circulating when I was still schooling. No offence to the schools mentioned. :p Do you know why Chinese High and Dumen High boys wear short pants as their uniform? Cos Bt. Timah area used to be flooded always so the shorts will remove the hussle of the boys rolling up their pants! Can't rem who I heard this from... think was from a teacher..Ahaha. And whenever we saw anyone rolling up their pants, the immediate reaction would be " Your moutain there flooded ar? If not why are all the moutain turtles (sua kus) swimming out?" (Incidentally there is hill in Bt Timah also) *LOL*

Hmm.... raining season, nice weather to sleep, cosy if you are indoors, pity if you are outdoors. Haha.

Lemme update some photos of my cutie nephew. He now has a signature greeting gesture for me. He will make a hippcuping sound to greet me when I come back from work. I was thinking why he did tt when my mum provided the answer....he was mimicking my laughter.... -_-"



Handsome little boy..... and he is very very active and naughty. Well guess that's what little boys are made of. Mum said his naughty behaviour can fight with me... wahaha.

Gen T

Just came back from PJ's wedding. Not a lot of batch boys this time round. 1 table only. I always feel comfortable with them.... even when they are teasing me for their own amusement (ba zhi ji de kuai le jian li zai wo de tong ku shang) -_-". How come I can be so comfortable with them? Izzit the fact that we have been living together for 4 months? Or that I can speak my mind and know they won't get offended so easily? Izzit that they are more open-minded?

Haizz, have attended numerous military wedding le. But the sabotage is always the same few. Say "I love you" in diff languges lar, sing a song lar, carry the bride lar...eh, can they think of something else? Chris said he machiam like signed-on sword bearer like tt. Wahaha. I used to imagine the wedding dinner with charlie. We will have 6 pairs of sword bearers, half from Navy and half from Army. And I think we can expect a very rowdy crowd from the 2 services lor....wahaha. Somemore both me and charlie are sporting types, they sure use the chance to sabo us. Plus Charlie is such a crap person and full of wacky ideas to sabo newly weds....haha, think his future wedding will kana double of what he did to other ppl... :p

Ian is now a DO (Division Officer) to the Midshipmen in Mids Wing (we call our Navy officer cadets Midshipmen) and he was pouring his woes to us. Now then he realised how our DOs felt when they took us under their wings...wahahaha. And he was complaining now they emphasies on "Heartware education" (ai le jiao yu). Now cannot anyhow tekan le hor. Later they complain you ar.... and they call themselves "coaches". Supposed to "coach"... not scold. No degrading words too. DUH!! Then what kind of military training is that? Rem once Viz commented on the new generation of RC cadets..their IC starts with the letter "T" instead of "S" and the "T" stands for "Toufu" generation.... *rolleyes*

Same old things

Ha, bought my mary janes le... and bought another knee-high stocking. Kaoz, will I be dressing like the meimeis? *faints* Hmm... spend quite a lot this year-end. Bought a lot of things for myself.. :p Wanted to get a new vacuum cleaner for mum but she said the present one still workable albeit a broken part. Should I feel guilty about spending so much on myself? A bit lor.... :(
Hmm... decided to venture into a part-time biz and see if it works. Gonna use my skills in doing crafts to sell. Aye, we see how it goes bah.
Read a book by Li Min. Romance again (what else). It is so easy to have misunderstanding between 2 person. Those angry words that are spoken aloud when you dun mean it, the pride of admiting you are wrong or that you treasure that person. The irrtitablity when you are misunderstood, the desperation and helplessness of your lover's inferior complexity. The deadlock when both are too distaught to think of an amicable solution. Hiazz..... -_-"
Really really really have to wake up and be conscientious when you are aruguing or when you are angry. Doesn't pay to be impulsive and think there is no way out except break-up.....but sometimes tt is the only way out. *shrug*

New me, old me

Went for my fourth collapse case yesterday. Hmm, first time try antecubital vein and got it! Yeah! Managed to give 1 shock but the patient was pronounced dead in the hospital nevertherless. :( Haiz, the vunerability of human life....

Brother called me yesterday and update me on his acceptance to a fine-dining resturant in Pan Pac. Glad that he is finally awake! Finally... after 25 years! Sad that I wasn't with him when he made the decison. He had called me for a discussion on signing on with the Navy. But I was too busy with my exam that time. So in the end, he made the decision after talking to his friends. It takes effort from everyone in the family to make sure the bonding of the family remains firm. And humans are such ingrates that take things for granted.

Feeling sad again. A bit no life. Where have all my energy gone? Where has the enthusiasm I had for outdoor activities gone? Where have all my kick-ass aspirations gone? I was looking at the firewoman section comd in my station during the morning parade. I would have loved to go thru the tough training, of displaying that women have what it takes to play a role in a industry dominated by males too. I would love to reinstate the kind of respect my peers had of me when I was still in the force. Where have all my fighting spirit went to? I sorta miss the old me..... but I also understand you can't stay at the same place as you go through your life. Guess it is still an uphill journey for me to slowly incoperate my previous traits into the new me yet maintaining the balance. Hmmm, okie since it is already the end of the year, this shall be my new year resolution for 2007 bah..*wink*

Oh yes, and I shall also fine-tune my criteria for my better half too....heeee

What Tarot Card are you?

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Quote from friend

Saw this posted on my friend's frendster homepage.

Priorities--"Devoting a little of yourself to everything means commiting a great deal of yourself to Nothing"

Eh, pretty true wor......

Today is a Happy Day

Got myself a great haircut and color...red streaks.. :p
Still maintain the length but it has got a stronger cut. However, to really see how great the cut is, we still have to wait untill the next wash. Aiyah, should have taken a pic just right after I came out of the salon hor.... hmm.

Yeah, got myself a retro dress and a red thick synthetic leather belt too + a fishnet stocking in brown. Shall get myself a patent black maryjanes to finish the look. Aha, I got my pink plastic hairband too....hurhur.

Decided to visit the dance studio and have a look at their classes. I am learning Samba! Wah, hot latin dance,I love it! Watch out for my shimmer, baby!

想你

若不喜欢你，为何你的身影烙印在脑海里，挥之不去？

Quotes again

he said "i'll love you forever" & she smiled and said, "just warn me when forever starts to end"

-myspace

Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

- Unknown

People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.

- Unknown

Today I caught myself smiling for no reason... then I realized I was thinking about you

- Unknown



Muahaha......

Self-boasting

Heee.... think I am a very accomodating person V^_^ . Think I can stand most of the character and not be judgemental... :p Know why? Cos I am a weird person myself. If I am weird, who am I to judge another weird character? Rite? Anyway, just a weird entry today....lolzz

A cooling, rainy nite. I like... but makes one feel lonely too. Long time no go play billard, long time no go clubbing, long time no go rounding. Long time nobody to snuggle up also.. :p

Haiz, maybe I should start a dating agency yeah? Good idea hor... then all my single friends will have 30% discount for membership fees...heeee

Another blogger

GST increase to 7% to help poor & old!!!

http://news.asiaone.com/a1news/20061113_story4_1.html

Yes, to help the poor & old contribute to the PAP govt, the GST will be increased to 7%. As the old don't pay income tax, they have no chance to show their appreciation to the PAP govt, this GST increase will help them to contribute something. As an inclusive society, they now don't have to feel left behind because they contribute less tax, they will catch up soon.
.
See how the PAP helps the poor & old in our society. Other countries use progressive taxation to make the rich pay more tax and use it to help the poor. In Singapore where the poor find it hard to make ends meet, they need to spend all their income without saving. Hence when the GST is increased, the tax burden for the poor increases....life for them becomes more challenging....see how the PAP improve the lives of the poor by giving them more challenges.


.
Remember a few days ago, the PAP MPs were complaining about the sub-standard behavior of Singaporeans - always whining and whingeing. ...so hard to govern. Why don't you be like citizens of other countries? Say, like the people of our perpetual competitor Hong Kong. Yes see what the Hong Kong people did when their govt tried to impose GST:

In Singapore, people will just whine and whine ...and do nothing. Now you can see clearly what our MPs are complaining about.

You can trust that the PAP govt will use the 2% to help the poor not to fund their favorite 'jump on the bandwagon' investments such as Biotech, Digital Media & Water Treatment. The purpose of the 2% increase in GST is to help the poor and NOT to cut the income tax of the rich and reduce corporate tax. It is REALLY to HELP the poor ...and NOT what Steve Chia predicted in 2002:

"Looking at the trend, I am quite certain
that there are going to be more cuts in the personal
income and corporate tax rates in the future.
To make up for this revenue loss, it is certain that the
Government is going to raise GST even higher.
So before this GST is increased to 5%, 7%,
9% or even higher in future,
I hope the Government can plan ahead
and institute a system to exempt
certain essential staple items from GST.
Do not wait until there is
great social discontent to do it. "
- Steve Chia 2002 Parliament Debate on Budget :

See Steve Chia was always misreading the intent of our caring govt. The purpose of GST increases is to help the poor and not the rich. The PAP govt is always trying to close the income gap and not to exacerbate it. Singaporeans are so lucky to have such a good government!

posted by LuckySingaporean at 2:17 AM | 9 comments links to this post


http://singaporemind.blogspot.com/

Finished my exam liao

Yo, finally closed this module with the examnination. Kaoz, my english really gotta improve man. Think even if I've got all the points right, there is still the structure and linking of the ideas and the language to convey exactly what I meant. :( Well, what's submited cannot be un-submited (is there such a word? wahaha) so just see what I will get for this paper bah.

Though finished 1 exam, there is another one coming up shortly, my PMCT. Haiz, luckily the motor is still running so should not be a problem revising my materials. V^_^

A frend told me something very interesting. He commented that he saw 4 changes of my personality ever since he knew me. I spent some time thinking why the variations when it suddenly drawn on me that it was the time when I was trying to identify my identity and personality. Remembered my previous postings about finding myself and how to deal with the world? Hmm.... glad that after 2 years, I finally see some light.

Let's see, I will want myself to be a strong woman, who can take care of myself and think independently. Have my own opinions but never pushy. So far, I have great confidence in myself and that I am strong enough. But I seem to loose my skills I once garnered. My map reading sucks (though it wasn't really good to begin with :p) and why din I apply my management and organisation skills that I've done in my work for my social life too? Because there is a cause and authority for me to practise it. I know it is good and correct for the job and nobody can fault me for it. But is this the same case when dealing with friends? People can understand your position and the decisons you make when you are working, but when it comes to dealing with close ones, things get a bit tricky and personal especially if the frendship is still young. I won't know how to test water and not drown in it.

Anyway, I have decide and am more or less at peace with myself on how to deal with people and what stand or position I'm gonna place myself in a relationship.... gonna work more on my shortcomings and horn many skills. Gotta show ppl that I do have the "liao".... yeah!

Do I sound like a 30-year old? :p

From fellow blogger

I still am angry at the removal of Literature just for the mere reason that it is difficult to score As... kns.

---

Okay, let's see what's happening. Essentially the divide between rich and poor is growing wider and wider in Singapore. And some Singaporeans are getting left far, far behind.

What's the government's proposed solution? Basically their idea is to encourage the people to help the people (God forbid that the government actually be expected to help the people). In other words, the government has decided to rely on charitable organisations, NGOs, voluntary welfare organisations and the like.

And from recent government pronouncements, it seems that the government is expecting these organisations to do something quick, in a very big way.

I am very skeptical of this model. I don't think it can work in Singapore. In fact I think that failure would be likely in most other countries as well, but particularly likely in Singapore.

We simply don't have the culture and the mindset for this. Just look at our PAP leaders. They stand up in Parliament and without any shame, they loudly say that if we don't pay them the world's highest ministerial salaries, they will quit for the private sector. Either that, or they will feel compelled to become corrupt and start robbing the nation's coffers.

Like it or not, the PAP has been in overwhelming power for decades. Their mindset necessarily reflects something about the mindset of the people. Face it, folks - we're a selfish people. Just like our leaders, we're competitive, pragmatic, kiasu and greedy. The vast majority of us are not going to waste our time on charity work.

Years ago, we even scrapped subjects like Bible Knowledge and Buddhist Studies from our school syllabus, because they were economically useless subjects. Now suddenly we expect Singaporeans to brim with love, kindness and charitable instincts?

We're so hard-headed that many of our schools even scrapped Literature from the syllabus because statistics show that it is harder to score an A in Literature. Now Dr Vivian poetically refers to "the milk of human kindness" in his speech, but I bet most young Singaporeans don't even know that the line came from Shakespeare's Macbeth.

The other thing is that Dr Vivian is basically calling on the VWOs to be much more active, and pro-active, than they've ever been before. He's asking VWOs to step up their efforts in a massive way. But Singapore is not a place where civil society organisations thrive. This nation does not like people with a sense of mission. It's often suspicious of people who even have an opinion (remember that proposal to license all bloggers?). If you wanted to hold a public charity event for the blind and homeless, you'd have to get police approval.

That's how this nation has been, for a long time. Consequently most Singaporeans have been conditioned to think and behave in a certain manner. That manner is just not consistent with mass voluntarism. No, we do not brim with the milk of human kindness. Unless it can help us to score an A, but then we already scrapped Literature.

Besides, there won't be that many old, poor Singaporeans to care for. The government already has plans to export them.

http://commentarysingapore.blogspot...-skeptical.html

Damn Sian Day

Today is a sian day. Rained heavily in the afternoon. Could not concentrate on the last 2 chapters of my curriculum. Think must be mind blocked liao. Bought 2 CDs of classical music... kaoz, makes me wanna sleep..Zzzzz. Guess I still prefer Chinese classicals rather then the Western. Or maybe I just bought the wrong CDs. Haizz..... damn sian.

Was feeling very depressed when doing the last chapter of my sociology book. It seems like the world has changed so much, humans have changed so much, technology has changed so much.... it gets a bit tiring to be living in this world liao. We can discuss so many issues. We can protest to change the present situation, but would ppl appreciate it at the end of the day? Fuck, dun wanna think abot it liao.

P.S. Maybe I am not doing anything to change things which is why the fustration..... damn it. I am only human too....

Can't finished a poem I was trying to write.... gonna read more chinese books liao... :(

Lonely

"Lonely, I am Mr lonely, I have nobody for my own"...

Duh, few of my single friends were telling me how sian their lives are. No thrills, no goals, getting restless.... One was saying he might need a spouse, another was saying maybe too long dun have companion liao, so looking for one. A colleague was complaining where are all the eligible men..And Tam was the most recent one to tell me about this. Hiaz, so it seems everyone is getting a bit lonely huh?

Told Tam will share with her my pool of eligibles when I meet them....wahaha, dun worry, dun think we are not looking for the same type of man, so most prob no conflict of interest. :p She was asking me abt those in my classes. Eh, nothing so far leh, the better one was my tutor lor, but think he gay... so too bad :( Tam dun dance, if not there is a high chance of meeting someone. 2 of my frends got attached while attending Salsa classes including Charlie! Hmm... Salsa pretty hot now, sure a lot of ppl go learn. Suggested that to Hai San, one of my drivers too... :p Haaa, this driver also surname Ong and we have a medic Ong too. Chuan was saying the other day, wah, with the Ong family, we have 1 ambulance crew liao....wahaha.

K enough of my craps.... gonna go mugging into my books liao. Was stoning the whole day cos of yesterday's drinking. Its pay back time!!

Always look on the Bright side of Life

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

Results for TMA03 back

hmm... got 75 for this again. Well, the comments given were pretty encouraging. However, what really strike me hard was how my essay or my view was so narrow.

4.Lastly, the question asked if there have been any social changes in the way religious wars and persecution are practiced. It would have been useful to first identify such social changes: migration from rural villages to cities;instant communication via live satellite TV and the Internet; the spread of religious communities over the global through globalisation. Now, how have religious wars and persecutions been affected by these changes? I would have talked about how Pope Benedict's remarks on Muslims (in aspeech given at a small Germany university) sparked a global response. I would have talked about how the Danish cartoons in Denmark sparked riots all over the world because of globalisation. This type of global response was not possible even 50 years ago. These are the social changes that have altered the way religious wars and persecutions are conducted.

Damn, I missed all those points! He commented something similar for my 1st TMA for research methods also. How come he can connect things and ideas so fast? :( I am impressed. Kaoz, really gotta train myself more on tt. I dun wanna just get a pass for my exams. I really wish to train up my analytical skills leh..... *sob sob*

Updates

Well, been quite a few days since I written haven't I? Today Mr Chia asked us out cos he did not have to look after his grandson, so we went to Red Star for tim sum...*yum*. Ate full full. Found out some gossips of our school from him too...heh heh. Time passes man.... he was commenting that he found a photo of our class and he can still identify us. Qingying told him we never looked at those photos any more cos we were so CMI then...-_-"

We chatted a while and realised all of us are waiting to turn 35 years old so tt we are eligible to buy a HDB flat! Wahaha... But I added something lar, if I stike Toto or Big Sweep (first prize, mind you), then no need wait for 35 years old liao... :p

Did I mention he was our english teacher? Told him I will like to improve the language and his advise was simple, read more, write more, listen more.... and he suggested writing journals.... told him I do blogging, but in Singlish.... you should see his face! :p

Haizz, one of my colleague tio complaint by a patient cos he requested the mother to help carry the patient and then the mother in the end hurt her knee.... -_-" . What do the top expect when they only give us 3-man crew? And hello... you should see the weight of our average Singaporean lor... so heavy. And will the top compensate if we hurt our backs? So what if they compensate? The injury will stay with us for life! Some family members really leave everything to us leh, kns... we also human okay? And how many patients we carry everyday? Own family member also dun want to help..... but I have to be fair lar, most of them are willing to if you asked them... :) Just hope there are more of these ppl out there...*pray*

Busy with my revision..... think I getting more haggard by the day. :(

註＊時間／語錄：

Diane Ackerman.美國作家：我不希望在我活至生命盡頭時，才發現自己只活了生命的長度，卻忽略了生命的寬 度。

Tennessee Williams劇作家：時間是最遙遠的距離。

小王子：你為你的玫瑰花所花費的時間，使你的玫瑰花變得那麼重要。

達文西：善用一天，可帶來一夜安眠；善用一生，可帶來幸福的長眠。

愛因斯坦：一個男人與美女對坐一小時，會覺得似乎只過了一分鐘；但如果讓他坐在熱火爐上一分鐘，會覺得似乎 過了不只一小時，這就是相對論。

Octavio Paz：在所有愛情裏，甚至包括最悲劇的愛情，都曾有一刻幸福的時光，把這一刻稱為超越凡間的時光也毫不誇 張，因為這就是征服時間。

張愛玲：於千萬人之中遇見你所遇見的人，於千萬年之中，時間的無涯的荒野裏，沒有早一步，也沒有晚一步，剛巧趕上了，那也沒有別的話可說，惟有輕輕的問一聲：噢，你也在這裏嗎？

Child rearing I

Just read an article from The New Paper. Some mother worte to the forum to complaint Singapore Pools of not being flexible enough for punters carrying infants or toddler to place bets. It is stated bets will not be accepted if punters carry a baby or a small child or those in school uniforms. This is for the good of the young, and just what is this mother thinking? If the rules are lax, and considering the amt of money Singaporeans donate to the Singapore Pools, children if exposed to gambling will think it is okay to gamble. Although it has been said that 小赌宜情, can you imagine what will hapen in the long run when children see their parents or caregivers going into stations to place their bets? Duh..... *rolleyes* Moral of the story? 没本事就不要赌，都是为了你好。。。 :p

Read another article, it is on "weekend" parents and kids. They called it the 5+2. No thanks to the competitive environment and the consumerism society we are in living today. Dual income is a must for the majority of the people. Nowadays young couples have their own social lives and of cos spent a lot of time on their career and leave the "dirty" jobs or responsibilies of child raising to their parents where incidentally are the default caregivers, or the maid, for tt matter. Bring the children home and spending only the weekends with them and expect the small ones to be close to you..... my foot k? Why the fuck have children when you dun have time for them? Like the saying goes "Ai piee, Ai Qiee, Ai dua liap ni" (want cheap, want fresh, want big breasts). Want the joy of having children without sacrificing your social life and lifestyle...TKK lor....

Kaozzz..

More Quotes II

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.
- Mahatma Gandhi

I don't know what we're put on this planet to do but we're here damn it!
- Al Bundy

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
- From Moulin Rouge

Library

ust came back from the dance performance Carmen. Not bad, wow, Spanish dance and flamenco really not bad sia. Passionate, wild, sensual...mm...*wink* Not bad, can consider to learn bah (greedy woman, every dance also wanna learn :p).

Was at Jurong regional library yesterday. It is now a new building, but how can I forget the days when I dressed up specially just to go to library cos that was the only place mum allowed me to go by myself? And how abt the days when I visited the library in uniform proudly and peeped at guys from neighbouring schools? *blush* We had RVs, YuanQing, Shuqun, Dunearn etc. Always have a thing for RV guys....haha. I rem us gushing about how dashing guys from other schools were as compared to my school and Mr Chia was quick to defend his boys. His words "the grass is always greener on the other side" stayed with me till now. :p

Walking ard Jurong East brought back memories, especially Jurong entertainment center. Spent my youth there. :p The noodle shop I worked after my 'O's is no longer there liao... *sob sob*. I missed the arcade and billard salon where I spent with Junqin. I also missed the shop opposite BK where I always got my materials for making chinese knots and the cassette shop (plus the cute young boss, only 25 yrs old then) that I got all my Alan Tam and Jimmy Lin's album.

Those were the days.....

Studies

Got back my TMA02 today. Hmm, how come my tutor always give 75 marks leh? My prev TMA also 75.... maybe he lazy bah... :(

Hump, did I mention my result for last module was a B? In order to get a 2nd Lower Class Honours, I have to have an average of Bs for all my modules! Can I maintain that? Haiz, the B result must be due to my poor submission of my ECA. I was expecting a B+:(

Daoz, dun have much hope for this TMA03. Haven been putting my best yet. Then still got the exam next month. Written leh, dun know if I can maintain at 75%.... : (

想你

不经意又想起了你，对不起。

等一个晴天

等一个晴天 (蔡淳佳）

阳光中 风筝断了线
往事般 落在我面前
那是谁 忘了放风筝握紧一点
捡起了 那年的秋天
阳光中 我住雨里面
你给我 风筝和蓝天
那是我 忘了将幸福握紧一点
感谢你最后的相约
等一个晴天 我们会再相见
你说了 风吹我就听见
笑着说再见 就一定会再见
心晴朗 就看得到永远

阳光在 抚摸我的脸
感觉到 你还在身边
那是秋 牵回忆的手温暖一点
我独自 散步在从前
阳光在 照亮你的脸
难忘你 微笑的双眼
那是你 让离别可以晴朗一点
你背影我目送到今天
等一个晴天 我们会再相见
你说了 风吹我就听见
笑着说再见 就一定会再见
心晴朗 就看得到永远

等一个晴天 我们会再相见
你说了 风吹我就听见
笑着说再见 就一定会再见
心晴朗 就看得到永远
因为很想念 每天都是晴天
心晴朗 就看到永远

阳光中 风筝飞上天
你笑着 回到我面前
让我像 那风筝贴着天空的脸
让爱是今生不断的线

---

Theme song from MediaCorp production "等一个晴天". Touching hor? Have been waiting for this song by Joi Chua. Like what I always believe, "天无绝人之路" 人生总是有希望的。:)

There is another production "传略点" in conjunction with the Yellow Ribbon project.... should be a nice show... :)

无题

“若一件事需要想是否值不值得去做，那么这件事不做也罢”

Some updates

1. Rite, nothing special in terms of work, gotta 1 interesting case, but not convinent to share over cyber space, so pardon me.

2. Picked up 2 books from Sandra Brown. 1 romance, the other thriller. Felt a bit silly to be reading romance at this age. Seen too much to have any illusion liao. Unless someone appears to prove me wrong....haha.

3. Starting on TMA03 le. Another 2 weeks of constant research and mugging. Hope to score well for this. Decided to change my course to Ba Sociology with psychology. Shall apply for the change next term as I missed it this year. That shall set me back at least half a year to my degree. Fast fast finished so that I can free myself financially and embark on my goals soon.

4. Wanted to compose some poems, shall try to draw inspirations from ard me.

5. Went to GuanYin temple for prayers. Was blessed with a good lot, hope everything will go smoothly for me.

6. A colleauge informed more and more runners are gay when I commented she has plenty of opportunities to meet the opposite sex because she is athletically inclined. Hmm.... tt is sad news for us.. :(

戏如人生，人生如戏

Watching and chasing HK period drama " 金枝欲孽 ". Talks about the tricks the concubines used to vie being the emperor's favourite. So many themes and lessons for us. Sometimes we really cannot escape the condition "人在江湖，身不由己". One cannot be with their loved because of the situation their are in and because of the burden and responsiblilties that they must bear. Being silly and do all you can for the person you love but will never be. Maybe reading romance and watching too much soap operas makes my mind all mushy again... :p

“破釜沉舟” has always been my way of handling relationships. Maybe I am being too harsh on myself, or maybe I just want to be victimise. *shrug* Maybe there are better alternatives to problems, but I'm just too stubbon to see it. The courtesan in the show gave the following advise to one of the male leads, "Drinking to drown one's sorrow is justifiable. However to drink fast, get drunk fast, forget the trouble fast, is only temporary relief and the whole cycle begins again the next day. Plus, you are wasting the wine. To appreciate drinking as a therapy, you must drink slowing, allow the pain to penetrate you fully, then you will feel very tired, very drunk, you will forget and be well the next morning." I applaud these words. They are so true. To fully recover from the emotion, you have to savour it, have to feel it in your body before you can detach from it. Shall do tt the next time I decide to drown my sorrow.

From 城市灵魂 III

回到熟悉的地方

听到曾经的叹息

走过无情的岁月

已找不到爱过的你

Singapore at 40

Watched the last episode of "The History of Singapore". Sigh... we are really facing new challenges just like 40yrs ago. It has been said that City states dun last long, it will have her fair share of glamour and fame, but will die out soon after. Therefore the concerns posted by MM are very real.... will we be still be where we are 40 years later? How do we make sure Singapore is still Singapore 40 years later? Will we have a land to call homeland? Singapore is still such a very young country.... maybe I'm just being paroniod *shrug*

Maybe we will go into war, maybe we will be conqured by another country, maybe all our people migrate and there will be no original Singapore culture left around. Maybe you need to have blood shed and trying times before a country can mature....

Ah, why the heck do I care about all these? Just live a day to the fullest as it is bah. "The bridge will become straight when you reach it" ...lalalala....

Sex n Gender n social stratification

The topics for these 2 weeks lessons discussed about sex and gender and how the society uses them as stratification. Although the term sex and gender are use interchangeably, sex is defined as physical traits i.e. reproductive system while gender is defined as masculine and feminine roles being acted out. So in contemporary society, your sex and gender may not coincide ya know?

We discussed about catergorising sexuality into "good sex", "debatable sex" and "bad sex"... heh, who would have tot there is so much into sexuality?? :p Basically I enjoyed these few lectures and tutorials on social stratification in societies i.e. the ranking of people in a hierarchy. Many, many debatable points, it was fun! Had wanted to post more on gender roles and how we are "programed" to behave the way it is expected of us but it will be like delivering the whole lecture here.... heh.

We also talked about how the whole world is being geared towards capitalisim and money is what makes the world goes round. We are all being "programed" to be consumers who keep on buying and buying, then we have to keep on working and working, then the bosses will get richer and richer and then the bosses will keep on spending and spending and the cycle continues. Hey, come to think of it, life really has more to offer than these rite?

For example my tutor, he wore a blue stripe shirt today. Boy, was he cute... :p Broad chested, knowledgable, looks young, makes jokes, delivers good lectures, oozing sex appeal..... but he still got the ring on his finger. -_-" I hope he is not gay, it will be such a shame.....

Rite, my english really sucks! Having limited vocab is really crippling if you want to write a good and impressive report. Damn! Why do I have such competitive trait? I really want to excel in this course. Why am I stressing myself? :(

New Quotes

There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

- Mark Twain

Beauty is only a light switch away.

- Unknown

That which does not kill us, only makes us stronger.

- Nietzche

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, she is beautiful because you love her.

- anynomous

What's in a name? That with we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.

- William Shakespeare

Carrot, egg or coffee beans

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its richness and savored its aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get even better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUS T DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendships you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life. If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!

May we all be COFFEE!

Healthy Lifestyle

Wah, today healthy lifestyle man. Went for HSBC Treetop walk early in the morning with the gers. Walked from 9am - 2.30pm. Tracked from MacRitchie Reservoir to the Treetop walk, to the tower, to the Dairy Farm Quary then finally reached Bt Timah Hill visitor center...

Whew, 3 outta the 4 of us came back with injuries. Tam sprained her ankle again, Qi had a big blister on her feet and me with my knees giving me problem again. Kaoz, my leg like wanna break liao. :p

However, think we all enjoyed the trip cos very seldom to have mood for tracking, and think we had covered about 17-18 km? Not a bad achievement ya...

K le, gotta rest my legs now....

From 城市灵魂 II

回首往事如云烟

迷雾之中见孤燕

瘸腿孤燕游人间

只为残续古思念

---

春冬换季谁灌溉

楼空人去旧情怀

夜半无声落尘埃

破晓之前仍是爱

From a frend, nice hor? :)
Know what was his subject for this poem? Feeling 又淫又湿 tonite.......... -_-"

He said 吟诗，吟诗。。。越淫越湿。Kns rite him.... *tsk tsk*

Emotional Day

Today is quite an emotional day for me. Got me thinking abt lots of things..hee

Went to see "The devil wears Prada" and it triggers so many themes to think about. We have the theme of Work/ideals vs frendship/bgr, understanding between couples and the growing distance as we progress up the ladder. The theme of personification in order to maintain an image and how easy it is for ppl to loose themselves in search of their goals. Like what Meryl Streep said in the show "you made the choice". You choose what to do and you are in control... No excuses. :p

Maybe if I aren't so stuck up in my logic and beliefs and look beyond, me and Charlie would still be together. But I still belive things happen for a reason and this is a lesson for me to learn. Since my r/s all lasted pretty long and that my exs all tried to slavage the r/s, "I must have done something right" (Quote from the a/m show). Guess its just the balancing of the prev me and the new found me..... :) But I have yet to find a way to get an unpopular idea (especially something negative abt his tots or behaviour) without the men getting defensive. But I guess its natural to get defensive when someone says negative things abt you... *shrug*

Hmm.....noticed my tutor is always wearing blue checkered shirt, not the same one though. Haha. And my TMA02 is pretty exciting = more work. "Race serves as a basis for the distribution of social privileges and resources." Explain and illustrate... :(

Think I am more interested in Sociology then Psychology. Will have to really think abt what I want.... humph.

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are a Bright Star Soul

Like a shining star, you have no trouble being the center of attention In fact, you often feel a bit hurt when all eyes aren't on you You need to be number one in everything, no matter how trivial And it's this ego that both hurts your confidence and helps you acheive You're dramatic and a powerhouse of pure energy You posess a divine quality or uniqueness that's hard to define A natural performer, it's likely you'll become famous in some circles. Just learn not to take everyone's reaction to you so personally! Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul and Prophet Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Pretty true leh..... :(

Tarot Cards

Hmm.... my reading says I will have a great relationship. And it has never failed me. So I shall wait patienly for my Prince Charming bah.... :p

The History of Singapore

Yesterday ChL 5 was showing this documentry series on The History of Singapore. Maybe I wasn't paying attention in my history classes when I was in school, I just couldn't relate to our history then. But after yesterday show, it suddenly drawn on me how Sir Stamford Thomas Raffles developed this little country of ours into what it is to be today. How he planned and lay the blueprint of making Singapore the regional hub of trading.

National education is being taught at various levels of our education system. It is a good thing that RADM Lui is looking into how to improve on National education to appeal to the students. More thots have to go into it and as myself has shown, it may take some level of maturity or exposure to fully appreciate our history and culture and how important it is for us as citizens to maintian this harmony we took for granted. Of course our govt played a great part in how we view and treat out citizenship and national responsibility. And we can't deny our bo chapness has got everything to do with the way we were brought up, the way our govt inculcated social vaues and expectations. However, as our little nation progress and mature, isn't it time that we the citizens of Singapore do something for the progress of the nation instead of anti PAP just for the sake of it? The govt has to be responsible, so does the people. The world dun owe you anything, you are responsible for yourself and your situation.

I am a duty, honour, county person. I fight and defend my land for her people, not for the govt. I support National service and the character development it bring upon the people. You will see guys complaining about their NS, but deep down, they know these were the best time of their youth and the best bonding among Singaporen men.

Greed and quest for power is human nature, and it is so too for any govt for that matter. I hope the govt really walk the talk when they said they are open to ideas and solutions from the people (though I doubt they will really do it..lol). You are born into this world and you have to play by its rules. If you do not the have ability to be top of the pyramid, then be desinated to be a pawn at the bottom.....

Everything boils down to only 1 thing..... the basic of human nature.

P.S. If you dun understand what the f*** I am writing about, its okay. Cos I just wrote what came into my mind... it doesn't need to have any connections... lolzz

Looking back

Hmm, sometimes you need to loose some, take a step back before embarking on a new journey. After so many years of couplehood and back to single status these 2 years, makes me realised that perhaps it was my expectations or it was my insecurity and hardiness that caused my failed relationships. I am most affected by my r/s with Charlie. Haizzz...... so near yet so far.

Most prob I will approach my next r/s differently but can you undestand the conflicting feelings of anticipation and insecurity of being in a r/s? 怕被伤害，也怕伤害到人。 人，还是矛盾的动物。。。。

Rem my previous entry of no aim or goals now? Well, I recalled some people said that setting up a family allows them something to look forward to. Something they felt worth fighting and living for... hmm... perhaps the reason why people married was because they have reached a plateau in their lives and they need a new goal to look and work towards to. Maybe...*shrug*

Nice Moon

无限滋味上心头
无言以对，自叹愁

Nice moon tonite again. Looks just like those I drew when small...haha. Just finished my assignment, 2 more to go....

A bit lost in direction, no particular goal. Got a bit of internal struggle again but I can't let go....

Sound a bit poetic tonite hor? lolzzz

愛情的本質是背叛。

愛情的本質是背叛。

愛上一個人，先是背叛了自己的時間，為了思念一個人日夜顛倒魂牽夢縈。

再來背叛自己的知覺，將情緒的搖桿交給對方掌控，從此喜怒哀樂的表

情變成對方遙控上的一顆按鈕。

然後背叛自己的自由，把時間空間全割讓給對方，犧牲原本單身的自在。

當感情淡了的時候，開始背叛愛情的承諾，背叛對方。

愛情結束的時候才贖回自己，結束背叛。

除非，你又愛上了另一個人。

Attachment

Why do you say attachment is corruption? Are we not attached to those we love?
Does this need explanation? When you are attached to an idea, to a concept, to an ideal as the Communists are, or the Catholics, is there not the beginning of corruption? When I am tied to a belief, to a god, to an image or to a person, is there not the beginning of corruption? Please Sirs, it is not what I say - just look at it for yourselves. Is attachment love?

If I were attached to you as an audience (God forbid!) I would be exploiting you, deriving great comfort from you, fulfilling myself. Is that not corruption?

When I am attached to my wife, to my friend, to a piece of furniture or whatever it is, corruption begins: I have to guard it, I have to protect it, and so comes fear. Fear begins with attachment. I may derive pleasure in that attachment, comfort, encouragement, but there is always the shadow of fear in it, anxiety, jealousy and possessiveness; people like to be possessed and to possess. Is that not corruption because in that there is a sense of fear, anxiety, that I might lose it?

So can one live in this world without any sense of attachment to anything? - to one's beliefs, dogmas, gods, to all the various symbols, ideologies and images and to the furniture, house, experiences? Which does not mean that one becomes detached. When there is an attempt to be detached then detachment is part of attachment, because the opposite has its roots in its own opposite.

Is that clear? So when one understands the nature of attachment, the consequences of it, sees the whole movement of it, not just one particular attachment to a person, to an idea, or to a piece of furniture, but comprehend and have insight into this whole movement of attachment - then attachment drops away immediately without any conflict. Then perhaps one has love - because love, fear and jealousy cannot go together.

Saga seeds

Gee, a colleague recived a box of saga seeds today. Hmm... brought back memories of first loves :p It was very popular then to collect saga seeds and make handicrafts to the person you admire... hee. I still got a collection. V^_^

However, as we grow older, these small gestures of love do not seem to play a part anymore. We would all prefered something practical and expensive. How nice was the feeling of the effort put in and the appreciative smile that was to be on the face of your beloved. Hope I will still conscientious rem these little gestures to jest up my future r/s bah...:)

PS. Already got a list of places where the saga trees grow. Shall start my hurt for saga seeds soon...*wink*

Life!

---

Wahaha, a net friend send me one..... lol

Happy Birthday

Yo yo, 1 year older lor! Staring at the screen, I really dun know what to type. What can I say? Not very eventful since last birthday. Except this is the last birthday starting with the digit 2, there is nothing much to say.

I only wish I strike tonite's TOTO, wahaha, tt will be my only birthday wish!! :p

My tutor is cute

Wahaha, know why I am writing this entry? Cos my new tutor is cute.... :p Gee, additional motivation to go for classes...wahaha.

Then I realised I am more attracted to the tutor who is not as fit and good-looking as compared to another classmate of mine. But what is new? See all my exs know liao.... :p

Re-read a book I had. "Seduction by the Stars" by Lexander and Rose. Hmm... the seduction tactics had me in stitches. Haha. But some points are quite true lar. Like we Leos like pampering and to be pampered. And we with big egos always expected to be treated with royalty. Leo women also appreciate and are impressed with guys with lots of confidence. Bold, not wimpsy. Though we are always bossy, we will want someone whom can match us and a real man.... :p

And when Leo women feel depressed, the first thing they do is to call their hairdresser for appt. I realised I do tt too...haha. Will always do something to my hair when I dun feel good...

Ya, I will be impressed by a guy who is confident and know what he is doing.... and not afraid to try and pick me up. But of cos its up to me whether to acknowledge or not lar. Haha. But usually no lar, I dun entertain pick-me-ups like tt especially in pubs. I still prefer the more natural way of meeting ppl i.e thru introduction by mutal friends or common activties.

PS. It just strike me that I am writing all these especially on my tots and preferences is just a way to reaching out to ppl. Subconsciously, I need someone to understand me and accept me. You may think I am a narcissist but maybe the stating point of bloggers is just that. To be heard and be accepted.....

More Quotes

Love is too strong a word to say it too early, but it has too beautiful a meaning to say it too late.

-Unknown

Did it ever occur to you that you're so caught up in trying to make the right choice that you've never stopped to consider the possibility that there may not be a right choice, or a wrong choice, just a bunch of choices?

-dawsons creek

The only problem with following the crowd is that it's crowded.

-Unknown

I'm afraid to say i love you
and really mean it,
cuase i never want to get hurt agian
or make someone else hurt,

-Unknown

One of the worst ways to miss someone is talking to them on the computer, knowing that they are there looking at the screen on the other side...and you know that they still don't think of you that way...

-??

Sue the Govt? Allergic to giam chai?

Eh, saw the article in The Newpaper. More and more individuals are suing the govt as this is the only way to gain compensation for injuries etc. It mentioned 2 cases whereby the mothers on behalf of the teens sued the govt for compension for their injuries. Okay, me too lazy to type out both, so I shall just mention 1. This mother is suing the teacher of neligence from the pri. school where the teen studied. During a toilet break given by the dance teacher, the child fell along the corridor due to the rushing and running of the rest of the children for the toilet. Because of this accident, this teen had shortening of one of his legs. Now the mother is suing the teacher (i.e govt) for not keeping an eye on the children and allowing them to run along the corridors. I mean duh? Come on, we all have been kids, do you listen to your teachers when they asked you not to run? How much can a teacher look out for all children granted they are so hyperactive and there were more than a few of them? I know,in US, you can sue the other party even when you are in the wrong. What is the world becoming? Well, maybe the perspective of the mass are changing, new ideas, new regulations, new social norm.... haizzz...

Guess there is really nothing you can do except to keep a open mind on how the society changes. Hey, I am doing the socialogy component of my degree.... hmm, shall think of more issues for my topics for TMAs... hee

Did not sleep well last nite cos my leg ached in the middle of the night. Mum said must be the "giam chai" (salted vegetable) that caused it as this has happened before. It has been a long time since I had this kinda aching of my knees... :( Imagine I am allergic to giam chai?!?! Tiano.....