Tots

Was listening to songs on my mp3 for my last duty. Songs that span of past 3-4 years. Come to think of it... I have been thru quite an emotion rollercoster. Felt very emotional and that I've missed alot of chances. Will the ending for the stories be different if I have been more initative and forthcoming? The events and feelings just felt like yesterday..... so close, so familiar yet so far away.

Feeling empty recently. Suddenly I seems to understand why ppl put all their effort into material gains to try to make themselves happy. Ya, felt like going on a shopping spree, a retail theraphy, wanna buy branded clothes, branded bags, drive car.... just feel like spending money to buy happiness...even if it was just for a short while. Maybe I should really engage and start my Spanish Dancing and find more hobbies and activities to fill up my life.

Maybe I am a failure when it comes to friendship. I seems to have trouble connecting with gers and have those girly bondings. Maybe I am too competitive, maybe I am not lucky to find my buddy yet. Yet I cannot always get company from my guy friends as I believe there is no real platonic friendship b/w the 2 genders. I want to have a relationship but I am with my emotion baggage....

Felt that life is very fragile, we need to enjoy life and dun sweat over small things. This comes from the few recent cases that I've attended. You really do not know when you are living this world. Really should spend more time with mum......

Went to a social event by WOW-Her. It was a gaming session with the board game TABOO. Its main objective is to bring single men and women to mingle and expand their circle of friends -> in turn up their chances od getting hitch. :p There are ard 30 ppl there. We have the nerd, the shy and the old....haha, very bad hor me :p For the gers, we have the plus-size and the shy. Age wise for female seems to be 40 as the oldest. And it seems to me that plus-size girls are the ones who really know how to have fun! Really beautiful people, no have. A few still can make it. Anyway, my aim is to know more ppl. It was quite a enjoyable night. They will circulate the email address for those who are okay with it. Most prob I will be joining more of their activities bah. And ya, 1 of them joined "Lunch Actually" and has to pay abt $700 plus for 14 dates... wah! But its members all high flyer ones lar, money is no prob to them.... Luckily I never join them...

Haiz, dun know how to feel already.... just flow with the heart bah.....

M1- India

Love this ad.....wahaha

6th Sense

Hmmm.... think my 6th sense today very accurate leh..heh heh. I had a drink at TCC before meeting my friends for dinner and picked up today's TCC in-house newspaper along the way. I flipped to the front page and there I saw the trail report for Alex's case. I hadn't know it was today but well, my gut feel made me picked up that paper. The trail is going to continue. Will try to get more info from Yvonne.

Next, I walked over to Marina Square's Kenny Rogers to meet my friends. I forgot the exact location of the resturant but I took a diffrent entrance away from my usual route and there it was, just beside the entrance... can you beat that? V^^

I guess you have to be in touch with your mind to be more accurate with your other senses. They always say a woman's 6th sense is accurate, but I dun think tt is always the case. I think sometimes we might just get carried away and are just too sensitive. Especially in terms of r/s... we might be reading too much into the other person's behaviour... :p

Took some photos along the way to Marina. How our land has changed. I shall post some before and after photos later of the Elizaberth Walk. It used to be my fav hangout. It is so tranquil to sit on the breakwaters and watch the river........ haha, me and Alex left our very own graffiti on the pipes there... :p

Adjourned to KTV after the dinner. I dedicated a song.... I dun think I can ever sing/hear that song without thinking of him. Damn! Why must I be playing that song when I heard abt his accident?

Eh, opened my bottle of Bailey's. Nice nice...mmmm. Feel like drinking recently. Need to train back my drinking threshold....haha. ;)

Stupid Stomper

No parking coupon on police car

A STOMPer spotted a police car parked in Orchard Road, without dispaying any parking coupon.

"This is taken on a Monday afternoon. Police patrol car parked for 3 hours with no parking coupons," the STOMPer said in an email today (24 Sept).

"Law enforcers abiding the law?" the STOMPer asked.

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/viewPost5615.aspx

Wahahaha.... this stupid joker is making my toes laugh!!

超级明星脸......明星脸！

Hee... did I mentioned before I was posted to my first station (Bt Batok), the medics got wind that I looked like Jolin Tsai? It was told to me after a KTV outing with them. I rofl, commented that the medic's eyes ta stamp! Gosh they must have felt very very disappointed when they finally saw me bah! Wahaha. I've been told that I looked like Lina Ng, Ann Kwok, Sammi Chang....

Tada! Came across this webbie that compares your face with celebrities and guess whose face always comes up against mine? Surprise! Jolin Tsai is one of them! Hmm... so I shall retract what I said abt the medic? Wahaha...



80% Choi Ji-woo leh....where is my Bae Yong-joon? :(

好傻

I guess I truly loved him. 泪盈再次背叛了我.......

為什麼人生氣時說話大聲?

有一天一個有智慧的教授問他的學生以下的問題：
"為什麼人生氣時說話大聲?"
所有的學生都想了很久，其中有一個學生說：
因為我們喪失了"冷靜"，所以我們會大聲.

"但是為什麼別人就在你旁邊而已，你還是大聲，
難道不能小聲的說嗎?為什麼總是要大聲?"教授又問

幾乎所有的學生都七嘴八舌的說了一堆，

但是沒有一個答案是讓教授滿意的，最後教授解釋說：

"當兩個人在生氣的時候，心的距離是很遠的，

而為了掩蓋當中的距離使對方能夠聽見，於是必須大聲，
但是在聲的同時人會
更生氣，更生氣距離就更遠，距離更遠就又要聲更大聲
........"
教授接著繼續說:"而當兩個人在相戀時會怎麼樣呢?
情況剛好相反，不但不會大聲，
而且說話都很輕聲細語，為什麼?
因為他們
的心很接近，心與心之間幾乎沒有距離，
所以相戀中的兩個人通常是耳語式的說話，


但是心中的愛因而更深，到後來根本不需要言語，
只用眼神就可以傳情，而那
時心與心之間早已經沒有所謂的距離了.....

最後教授做了一個結論:
"當兩個人爭吵時，不要讓心的距離變遠，
更不要說些讓心距離更遠的話，自然的過了幾天，

等要心的距離已經比較沒有那麼遠時，再好好的說吧!!"

Relac

"A laugh a day, keeps your troubles at bay" - me ;)

10 best excuses when you get caught falling asleep on your desk:

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in
that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably
got here just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement
and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve
work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who
practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a
solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your
desk...

1. " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."

Relac II

Relac qoutes are courtesy of "The board of wisdom" (Quotes in my blogger list)

Women's English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on
TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]

Men's English:
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now!
Love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have sex
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex without me

- Unknown

Relac III

What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I STARE, I SMILE, AND WHEN I GET TIRED...I PUT THE MIRROR DOWN

- GAURAV SIDANA

So... the elephant says to the camel "why do you have 2 boobs on your back?" the camel replies "that's a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face"

- Unknown


I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned

- Unknown

Too often, we loose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and b****-slap the mother-f***er upside the head.

- unknown

When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.

- Unknown

Tired II

Hmm... pretty tired after 3 straight night duties. Average of 6 calls for the past 3 days lor... x x. Had a stupid call on the second night. Patient gangfight with a deep gaping laceration on his arm. Can even see his tendon and muscle le! Dun want to go hospital nevermind, even haul verbal abuse at me and threaten to complain when I advise him to go hospital. I asked him go ahead, gave him my name and my ambulance callsign. WTF! K lor, its your hand, dun go, get infected, arm rot, amputated, your business. I did my job and if you dun take care and treasure your life/limb, its your pasa. I am not the one in pain!

Haiz, think I a bit sick of seeing all the gore and fats and blood. Dun feel like seeing anymore of it. Think I need a break. So easily burn out..... :(

Somrthing inspiring

一飞冲天

在黎明前整装
用冷静的目光凝望前方
展开钢铁的翅膀
我是飞鹰
空中有我的方向

交出我热诚的心
印在太阳的胸膛
挥洒我满腔热血
映出红霞弥漫

天有多高
我们攀上它的顶端
云有多深
我们闯入它的心房

风雨之中
我茁壮成长
炮火声中
我百炼成钢
纵然云雾阻挡去向
我不彷徨
也不迷惘

Song from a local production "空军". Look at the lyrics, so manly, so inspiring. Makes a boy grow up yah? I like! Inspired me to be be tougher, more resilient, go for my dreams.... tt's what I like abt SAF! Trains you to be tough with integrity (not those back-stabbing)..... the right way. Though I know in reality, a lot of ppl are doing the other way... Haiz. But ppl still need dreams rite? Something good to forward to.....

Noodle vs Bao

Chapter One
===========
One day, noodle quarrel with meat bao(bun). They had a fight but bao was too clumsy and lost badly. He was very angry and he told noodle to stay behind if he has the guts and he'll get his pals to assist him.

Meat bao went to find bread, man tou, jian bao etc to get them to reinforce him. Along the way, they saw maggi mee. They ah bish ah bish ah bish and beat maggi mee up and maggi mee beri puzzled why he kena beaten up. He said, "Why u all beat me? What have I done to deserve
this?" The meat bao said, "Noodle! Dun think u perm your hair then cannot recognise u!"

Chapter Two
===========
Maggi mee, who was beaten up for no reason, was very angry. So he went to find bee hoon, udon, fried noodles etc to seek revenge. But on the way, they met small bao. Maggi mee looked at small bao for a while then told his brothers, "Bra-der! Whack him!" Maggi mee whack small bao harder & harder.

After the noodles family has left, they asked Maggi Mee why he hated small bao so much and beat him up so badly. Maggi mee said. "At first wanna teach him a small lesson only, but then see him act cute, made me so angry."

Chapter Three
=============
The more small bao thought of it, the more buay song he was. So, he found the bao family to whack Maggi mee. Then they found ying shi juan noodles covered with bun. They brought him back as hostage and were about to put him on the stove to force him to talk when the bao head
said, "That's not noodles! That's our undercover!"

Chapter Four
============
The family of bao and noodles are now enemies and they have gang fights whenever they see each other. One day, the noodles family was having a walk when they saw char siew bao alone. Seeing the good chance, all of them attacked him. The noodles family shouted, "Beat him hard
hard! Don't give chance just because he's vomiting blood!"

Chapter Five
===========
Poor char siew bao, with his injuries, went to the baoheadquarters to look for help. All the bao family was activated and together with red bean bao,green bean bun etc. they went to seek revenge. All the passerbys siam them as they look like they will kill.

They saw french fries jalan jalan along, shopping. The bao
family attacked him. The bao head shouted, "Noodle people still wear gold go shopping! Whack him!!!"

Chapter Six
==========
Finally, the bao family manage to kidnap noodle, the one who started up the whole show, and brought him back to the bao headquarter.All the baos took turns to whack him. At the end, the chief of baos - dua bah bao took a final roll over noodle before they dump him.

When the poor noodle finally went home, none of the family member could recognise him bcoz he is totally disfigured - flatten. In order not to let the family bear the bad name, he appears as a new member named Mee pok


Sent to me by a friend. LAME! But funni....wahahaha

Musings

Supposed to cover duty for Stn 12. Went there early in the morning to discover the miscommunication from above that there is no need for manpower coverage for today...=.= Make me wake up so early for nothing....Zzzz

Anyway, was thinking since I am already there, might as well have my breakfast at IKEA. Been such a long time since I've been there to just jalan jalan. Got myself a cup of tea, a lo mai gai and finished up my home-made ham sandwich..yummm!

Nice feeling to be having breakfast under the warm lightings and soft music.. hmm. Had this image in my mind while eating, me making a good breakfast for my hubby, enjoying our breakfast together then sending him off to the door to work. After which I start to do housework in a nice house of cos... Diano!! Eh, since when I am willing to be a housewife?!?! But come to think of it, it really is a blessing to cook and take good care of your hubby and to keep a home nice and clean and pretty.. :) The only fall back is that you have to resist falling into the 黄脸婆 catergory.... No man wants to go home and see a hagged woman no matter how much he loves her. However, too much pampering of your man will make him take you for granted. Need to strike a balance bah... (easier said than done)

Wah, I was dreaming (at least at this moment), it will be nice to be a tai tai,take good care of my hubby, cook for him, pay him attention, keep him happy and at the same time do some freelance/part-time to earn my own money for self-spending. Especially enjoying my hobbies at the same time making money.... hmm.. nice pic hor? :p

Kk, gotta go back to bed and continue my 美梦...Zzzzz

坏？

“男人不坏，女人不爱”？哈哈，男人真的是要有点坏才可爱！;)
女人也是要在适当的时候坏，男人才理睬！

haiz, 人啊！

君子之交

君子之交淡如水，也许这样友情才会长久吧！我不是一个对朋友/友情很有研究的人。对于友情也蛮陌生。Especially between gers. Cos of bad experience since young. 可能我们都被伤害过，因此都会有所防备。不能怪人的，我不也是一样？呵呵.....

Burn the Floor: FloorPlay

Yo, just came back from the dance performance. Heh, let's see, I've bought tics for 2 dance performances and 4 sessions of dance workshop for d:ance festival 2007. :p

Very nice performace, mainly introducing the types of ballroom dancing. I like! Seeing the performance makes me realise something. My true love is still Chinese dance. Although I am interested in all other dances, Chinese Dance remain as my 1 and only true love. So.... I've decided to go for Xiaofeng's performance tomorrow. Been battling as whether to continue with chinese dance. Will I be able to take it that I am back as a normal dancer? I think I missed the most important point. I like dancing, I like performing, I like to be on stage. If I can get all these, why should I mind what my part in the dance will be? I believed with my talents, I can do it! The only prob now is that I am already 30yrs old. How long more can I be a dancer? Would any troupe accept a 30+ year old dancer? =.=

Know what? Dancing is to immersed yourself in the music, flow with the music, surrender to the music. Any dance, any dance at all.

Saw another performance by a group of Jap artists while waiting to be admitted into the theater. Wow, chinese/korean/Jap instruments really can transport you to the nature... so soothing, so peaceful. The lady performing on the Koto, something like the guzhen, wah, so lady-like wearing a kimono and playing the instrument. I wanna be like her too.. :p Think I will pick up erhu,pipa or guzhen when older and have more time.

Was feeling rather aimless for the past few weeks. Well, I've got myself something. To be more filial to mum. I am ashamed to admit that I haven been the most filial daughter. Really should do something before any regrets. And of course to earn more money to support my hobbies... and perhaps a business venture..:p

kk, need to go back office in the morning to finished up the WITS project. Nite!

P.S. Passed my IPPT V^^

What is Marketing?

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich, I want to marry you."
That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback

Muahahah....

29 ->30

hey hey.... 30 mins count down to my last few mins of 20+++. Sigh.... soon I will be in my 30s le. Wonder what is in store for me? What challenges will be waiting for me after this milestone? How much wiser and mature will I be? It's exciting and sad at the same time. So much to anticipate yet you know you have spent 30 yrs in this world liao. How long more will I be here? How should I live a more fulfilling life? Am I doing the right thing now? 好多的未知数.....

Read an article in a mag today. Its something abt listening to your heart on what decision to make. Something like listening to what your inner conscious yearn is what you really want and that shall be your best choice at that time. Things will pick up from there and you will give yourself a chance to live better. How I wish I can believe that. I have been making too much decision based on my gut feel.... but are they the best decison? I can't say for sure. Perhaps I should be more confident of myself.....

I shall make a wish once the clock strike 12. Pray my wishes will come true? ;)

A Very Happy 30th Birthday to ME!!! V^^

Happy National Day

Yo, its our Nation's 42nd Birthday! Eh... not too excited this year.. :(

Still missed all my uniforms, commands, duty, honour, country.... :p

May I wish Singapore

风调雨顺
国泰民安

World Peace! V^^

P.S. Am I showing calibre of a beauty pagent candidate? lolzz

House Keeping

Eh... did some housekeeping. Deleted those negative entries. Think I grumble and complain too much le. Its spring cleaning time!

当你能没顾虑的 delete 那篇记录时，你知道你已经放下了。

From Ah Cheng IV

城市霓虹仍灿烂

照亮夜间的孤单

谁的故事将心绑

谁的往事不肯放

岁月流逝人迷惘

不闻不问锁心房

尘埃冰封的遗孀

何年何月才遗忘

十字路口人彷徨

不归之路是罪犯

Too Many Choices

Too many choices, too many crossroads.
Too many thoughts, too many ideas.
Where do I go? What do I feel?
Is this the challenge that is being thrown to me this time round?
Will I be able to face the consequence of my choice?
Why do I have to choose?
What is the correct way?
Done too many major decisions.... I am scared.
Will this be another of my miscalculation?
Can I really live days as it is and decided based on my gut feel and what I am feeling right now?
I feel like crying....

惜福

最近看了部连续剧，都是说男欢女爱。为何每每总是出现这种局面，你爱的人，和爱你的人是不一样的那位。这种情况大概就是我们凡人都面对过的吧！要找个相惜，相知，相爱的几率是少之又少吧！我真的像我妈所说的，不懂得惜福。被上天眷顾的我，4 段感情中，就有 3 段是哥有情，妹有意的安排。可能是我一直都这样幸运吧，就把两情相悦当成是理所当然的。等到我又回到局里，才发现这种缘份得来不易啊！终于懂得惜福了！

新兵小传

Damn! Missed the first 2 episode of the above mentioned TV series. For the benefit of those younger generation, this was the first drama series from the previous SBC (Singapore Broadcasting Corporation) before it was called TCS. I dun understand why they keep saying 雾锁南洋 was the first drama series when I clearly remembers it was the earlier. Anyway, I can still remember the theme song for the show... can you believe it? I only managed to catch the last 5 mins of the Sunday show... >:( Funni siah, toking abt the experience of young enlisted NSFs of that time. Wahaha! Seeing them remind me of my own training...heee. "枪就是你老婆" in our case "枪就是我老公". I really miss my M16 when we finished our Tri-service training. 20 weeks together leh...I still rem my M16 butt no. is 13.

Really, nothing beats the experience when doing national service. The comradeship, the bonding, the craping... you only get these with the guys especially the crapings wahaha. The kind of satifaction when you overcome the challenges and your limits....wow! 非笔墨可形容! Till now I am still very intersted in the new products for the SAF. For example the SAR21, the new SBO webbing.... yes, even the combat ration! :p I think my passion for the SAF might have started with this show..... hur hur.

I was thinking of going HK this aug during my bday. I actually have the opportunity as Mdm Ng's dance troupe is going over to take part in a competition. However after much deliberation, I decided not to go. First, I dun really like the company, second, clothes I bought last year are still sitting in my wardrobe, third, think I will save the money for a Europe trip! Yeah! One more reason, it is during the National Day period. Dun know why but I have this strong feelings that I should be in S'pore on her birthday.... -.-"

Okie, enough of my duty, honour, country.....;)

Had me ROFL

Watch this..... OMG! Wahaha..... My tears come out liao

Expectations

Went for the complimantry Personal Training session with a PT at CFC. Did the body content check, eh, I need to get rid of the excess fats ard my tummy.. heh. The rest of my body is just to build up muscle mass. Wah, my ideal weight is supposed to be 53.4kg leh. Of cos, mostly of muscle. So gotta push myself forward for better stamina, toner body and my ideal PR of < 70! Then gotta strengthen my knee muscle also cos of my injury. *Sob sob* how come I can increase 3kg without me knowing leh? Duh.....

While training and in steam bath, me got thinking again. Men used to (or still secretly hoping) that women will be sweet, loving, understanding, know when to be demure and when to be independent. When to come and offer co. or went to leave them alone. To share the burden of supporting the family, to take care of them like their mother (minus the nagging), take good care of the kids (plus the parents) and last but not least, able to satisfy them in the bedroom. Thank God that men finally came to realise their wives are not wonderwoman or freaks with numerous tentacles...-_-" and so they lowered their expectations (anyone not doing will be labled as MCP...hahaha) and even help ard the house. However, it seems like women nowadays are the ones having higher expectations. We expect our men to help with the housework and kids. Bring back the dough and to still have energy to show us T.L.C. Of cos not forgetting always getting them into the fix of guessing what is the real thing or action we want from them. Expecting them to read our minds.... Is that too much to ask for?

I guess each couple will have to find their comfortable and balancing point in order for the partnership to work. Communication is very very important. Do tell your partner what is that you need, what is that you feel and how he/she can make you feel better. If your partner loves you, they will definately make concessions and address your concerns. Marriage and relationship has to be build o mutual trust and respect and not taking each other for granted. Easily said, but how many of use fall into the trap ourselves? I dun know, by giving and not expecting anything in return... is this true love or unhealthy love? *shrug* I guess depends if you are with the old school of thoughts or the "instant glorification" generation bah.... think abt it. Where do you fall in? *wink*

HORROR!!! Its mid year already! Damn.... time really flies man....

Moodles 涂画库

干杯

红色的魅…
香醇珍贵…
保存那年那日，过往的美。
滴滴流逝，品尝时光的韵味。
时间雕琢青涩的心扉，
渐渐酝酿成熟的思维。
就慢慢把人生体会，看透醉人的酒杯。





哈啰!长夜

良药不需要太苦，梦境或许会变模糊。
微笑就在不远处，向我挥手打招呼。
没哈欠、挺郁闷、待入眠。
又见月光划破长空的一幕，悠悠等待清晨的脚步。
没故事、挺怀念、盼催眠。
睡美人得到了幸福，夜猫子陆续归途。
我还徘徊在那灯火阑珊处



禁止搁浅

悲伤不应该聚集。
美丽和谁在一起？
冷却的心躺卧在温热的沙粒。
大浪冲掉心潮的泪迹, 小浪泡出温柔的图形。
日落时快回去。
回到最初的自己。




Nice hor? Find her entries here..
http://moodles.wordpress.com/

Communication

Haiz, got into another "discussion" with Y. Well, something about toking without thinking and sensitivity issue. Story went someone overheard some comments we made about another person/group of people (not good ones, of cos) and guess Y heard abt it from this someone too. Well, I admit we were insensitive abt the situation and the person then. Haiz, but tt's what happen, and I can't blame anyone if the story was added with seasoning and most likely will reach the person ears. I too am guilty of these kinda things lar, like you tot someone said something or do something whose real intention might not even be what you percieve it as and relay the news or the injustice you've just came to know about. Human nature lar huh....

I always have prob communicating with others. Maybe its the way I put across, maybe I just dun care if they misunderstand me. I mean I always believe "说者无心，听者有意" some people are just more sensitive than others and might think more into the words than its intented menaing so I can't stop ppl from thinking what they are thinking. Unless they are people I'm very close to, then I will make sure my real intention gets across. Sometimes my choice of words is also the culprit. 用词不当。Sometimes I just wanna irritate the hell out of people... hahaha. A bit pervert lor..:p I speak my mind abt what I think, even if its harsh. Most of the time I just speak my mind. So tiring to edit, filtrate before putting it across....*rolleyes* so I dun expect ppl to know what I mean everytime. But of cos I will be responsible for the things I've said and if the person confront me, I will apologise if I was wrong. I did reflect on my reactions if the same actions were done on me and I came to this conclusion. I will be angry, i will be upset, I will whine and complain, but unless it is something I really care about (in this case, I will confront the person), I'll just brush it off.

Frankly lar, I dun mind ppl say if my promotion was not due to my capability but because I am "due". It is a fact what. I din perform superbly well as compared to some others. I know, those working with me knows, my bosses know, cannot run one mah how I handle and go about my work. Whether I deserve it or not. People can say all they want lar, I can't be bothered, and I dun care. "Those who matters dun mind and those who mind dun matters". If ppl decided to have certain perceptions about me based on the few things they know or hear or percieve, nothing much I can do. You never really know a person unless you increase interactions with the person. Those who knows me will know what kinda person I am and they can form their own opinions about me. Humans like to think they know everything mah.....Whoever say the world is fair?

My stand is pretty clear, ppl can say anything about you but it is up to you how you take it. If I choose to be angry and upset or bothered by it, then it is up to me how I deal with my emotions. And I half expect others to be the same. If you cannot take it, it is your biz (exceptions for love ones untill they piss me off :p). Individualistic way of thinking I know. However, no man's an island. I've learnt to bend my rules and factor in elements of social interactions. Can't expect everybody to behave like me ya? And humans being humans.... well, I dun want to go to tt again. So.....I've learnt to be more sensitive to other people which is better for me too...I dun wanna become the public enemy also lar. I've also learnt to hold my tougue...sometimes too much. Too lazy to comment since everyone is entitled to their unique characteristics. Of cos me being a human, there are also instances when I just let go without much tots. Anyway, my stand is... I will try to be more sensitive with regards to what I say but the bottom line is, it is still up to them how they wanna handle it. It all depends on how you wanna face your life....Understand what I've written? Lolzz....

Raining very heavily...I love it. Time to sleep...hmmmm... Zzzzzz

Life's a struggle

Check this out....

Life's a struggle

A rap by this guy 宋岳庭. This song was inspired by his own life story. Have always like the lyrics. 刻画了人对人心寒，与人性坏的一面. So true......

Whatever...Anything...You decide

Whatever

Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don't want, eat steamboat later got pimples on my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood not good also, later I might got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..


Anything

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn't watch movie
Women: Watching movie not good, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? Don芒鈧劉t u feel tired?
Men: Then we find a caf脙漏 and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: So, what you suggest then?
Women: Anything!!!


You decide

Men: Then we just go home lo
Women: You decide
Men: Let's take a bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don't want la
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it la... for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk lo. Take a slow walk
Women: So hungry, empty stomach how to walk?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first
Women: Whatever...
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anything

(Look around....if no one is there, just kill her...)


Wahahahaa

Challenges

Eh, recieved a call from school to notified that I will need to repeat the failed module. WTF! I mean I only never finished my exam mah, all my TMAs I scored leh. Somemore already sent in my MC for the exam panel. Sent an email to them regarding this. If there is no compromise, then I shall stop my degree le. I mean why waste another semester and money to repeat? You dun need a degree to suceed. So, I am okay. If can appeal for just an exam resit, I will continue, if not, then tt's it lor. At least I have more savings to spend....heeee

Okie, this isn't so bad. I'm worrying abt another issue. There is this mole at my chest area that seems to be growing darker and bigger in size. Then I see another one coming up too. Hmm... what are they leh? Are they any indication of an ailment... namely cancer? Read from some reports that changing in color or size of a mole may be an indication that something is changing in your body. Well, think I better go see a doc first before jumping to any conclusion. Heh, even if it really is cancer, I dun think I am afraid of death bah. Somemore I already got myself covered for the critical illness. Just have to make sure I have enough to cover for my living days. Of cos I will continue working if I can lar... Maybe tt is the good thing abt being single, at least there is not much worries that you need to leave behind. Heee.... shall see how bah.

Went to Kuan Yin temple today. Got 2 lots, a good one for my health and a medium one for my love life. Something like I will have to fight for my rights? *scratch* Anyway...

Did I mention my weight is now 51kg!!! OMG, went to measure at the gym the other day and today. Tot the scales malfunction the first day..-_-". Damn! Increase by 4 kg leh.... what did I do? Nvm, I shall work it back... though need lot of self discipline lar...haiz. But for the sake of my figure...I must endure!! Haaa.. the things women do for beauty..:p

Wanted to change my blogskin... shall do it my next off day.

MRT pledge

Something from an email....


you've heard of the Singapore pledge. The following is the MRT pledge:

We, the passengers of MRT,
poised ourselves as one kan cheong people,
regardless of old folks, kids or pregnant women,
to rush for unoccupied seats,
based on pushing and shoving,
so as to achieve rest. slumber and sleep for our comfort.

Hahahha

Possessive

Yeah, I know I am actually a possessive ger and I am right. Although I gave alot of freedom to my bfs (including time out with their female frends), I will still be jealous if they spend time with their friends more than me! I will also get jealous if they talk a lot about a new female friend that they just met. I am only human.I already know I can't share, I should have known.....

无题

往日欢笑绕耳边，昔日温柔印唇间
暗自叹息夜未眠，懊悔再也回不了....... 从前

与我遨游

解读沉默

我的沉默，
成为理所当然。
不想解释，
不要多说。

沉默是封闭也好，
是隔离也罢。
不希望你会了解。
我没对你说...
心有灵犀，
确实用不上。

解读沉默，
只会让你更难过。
阻塞的思绪，
静静在时间里躺着。

沉默者...
还是沉默。

戒爱

手中的烟烧尽，我该如何是好。
早已习惯，对你的依靠。
杯中的酒变淡，我全身发烧。
这毒瘾，把我逼进了墙角。

如烟似酒，无可救药的煎熬。
腐蚀了灵魂，已无路可逃。

如梦似幻，世界已经变老 。
沉沦已久，只剩寂寞缠绕。

戒爱，不再烦躁。
从此以后，离开思念的牢。

戒爱，时间可以慢慢治疗。
找回自己，人生的目标。

“... 或许我太个人化，爱自由，爱情变成一种牵绊。 或许我太情绪化，放纵情感，因此别惹我也罢。 或许我太理想化，眼里容不下一粒沙。 或许两性的偏差，我不了了解它。”

与我遨游

Men II

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Today, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Men are like ...Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you
2. Men are like. Bananas ....... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ...... Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ....... Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ..... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like .... Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .... .Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots .......... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Hehehehe...

Music back & what nots....

Yeah, did some changes to the HTML script for the blog. Now you guys can turn off the music if you find it a bother liao..;)

Hmm... some updates bah. There are mix comments about my new hairdo. Those older men (32 yrs and above) like my new hair.. those younger men think my hairdo is ancient! :( Well, all I can say is I have a very cheena and ancient look lar.. Think put me in chongsam, with some fan or feather.. I can easily past off as some period character...-_-" Think I will go for an SOS trim at Kr+ 2 weeks later bah. In the mean time, I will try to look as pretty as I can in this hairstyle heee.. :p

Discussed with KY and HS that there seems to be alot of Lims and Tans in S'pore and also surnames starting with "L". I mean look, the guys I am/was interested in 95% have surnames with "L". And outta this 95%, 90% are Lims.... not forgetting 99.5% of those who asked me for flings (sorry, still can't get over tt I'm always asked for flings :(...) are Lims. Surnames of my ex(s): L,C,L,C... so what comes next? So sortta pattern here? Haiz.......

They gonna increase the charges for merchants using NETS. Wtf? Dun care, if the burdun is gonna transfer to us, I'm gonna revert to paying cash. Bleah! Think the whole system going senile liao.... including my organisation..

Have been thinking a lot about everything.... BOTHER!!

The Guardian

Hmm...boring me. Watching DVDs on Sat nite by myself at home... no life hor? :( Anyway, managed to finish 2 pieces of disc. Finally got to watch "The Guardian". Hmm...... ya, we need more of these "Hallmark" movies to motivate us in our work. I almost forgot why I signed up in the first place. Ppl usually won't appreciate you untill they need you. Even if they need you, you might not be appreciated at all too *shrug*. But what I can say is tt no matter how the ppl denied and show their nonchalant, deep down they feel a sense of security in our presence when they are in need. I guess tt is what is most important, isn't it?

How do wives cope with their husbands whose jobs are always threading between life and death? I think I can understand from both sides of the story. As men with inspirations, the sense of responsibility to be out there doing their job, what their best at doing is a calling. To fully engaged in your job and responsibilities, to save ppl, to fight for the country, is very fulfilling and statisfying you know? And to a man (or a women as in my case :p) tt is very important. What about the wives then? As a woman, if I ever have a husband or family, I would never let the man I love dies. What will I do without him? without him by my side, growing old with me.... Of cos I will be selfish and hope to keep him by my side. I've asked myself before.. if my husband is going on a dangerous mission (or job, if he is in any of the forces) will I let him go? Isn't it important that you help your SO realise their wish? Isn't being supportive is what love is about? Will I let go?

Hmm.... when I was with Charlie and in the Navy, I did think abt this prob before. If the button was ever pressed.... will we leave our kids behind and fight all the way? Will we be supportive of each other to do the best, even if it means laying down our lives? Haaa.... k, at least I dun have to worry abt tt now.. :p You know what? Maybe ppl like us doing rescue work or police or soldier should stay single, and disregard life and death. Maybe these jobs are suitable for ppl who are tired of living just like me. Haha. K yeah, time to shape up and kick ass. God, I missed those hell days! I am really crazy and bo liao to be thinking of going thru it again.... haha.

报梦

Met up with Viz, Roy and partners for a drink and Viz told us a very strange dream he had last night. Well, he dreamt of Weicong visiting him. They had a comfortable conversation with each other including questions from Viz to Alex regarding his accident. Viz said the feeling he got from Alex was one of regrets but peaceful. According to him, he was in his secondary school haircut, you know the style of Jimmy Lin and Aarron Kwok? Hahah.... ya, tt "M" hairstyle and he looked thinner. Roy joke tt he was a "vegetarian" for 1 month.... no wonder he took a bottle of wine, smile a cheeky smile before Viz woke up. You see, cos Viz and Roy shared the loot of his wine, liquor and wine glasses between themselves.. so Viz suspect he will visit Roy next.. wahaha.

Viz said it might be due to his memories of him, but I believed the session really happened. Hmmm.... will he come visit me? :P

Running

Went running at NP today after my career counseling duty. Not thinking of clocking any timing, just want to get the motor starting after not running for 6 mths. But running into my fifth round, I could feel my knee starting to give way. Haiz, tot I won't need a knee guard just for that little running.... :( Anyways, din run but brisk walk for the rest of 2.4. So guess I will have to continue training and rem my knee guard the next time round....*rolleyes*

Thinking of subscribing to mobtv and catch all the shows that I've missed on Mediacorp. Some shows are nice you know especially the documentries and lifestyle programs. Hmmm... should I? :p Maybe after I finished all the DVDs that I've bought the last time round bah..haha



有时候，人活着就像跑步，跑啊跑啊，岁月匆匆的过。终点到了吗？

Cake

Went to Esplanade with Sis and Joven.... must get Joven accustom to the 艺术气息..wahaha. We then went to the V tea room again. Ate the same Irish Baileys cake again and sis ordered a yogurt cake.. she said she fat *rolleyes*. Then we tried all the flavoured cookies again! Heee... she bought 1 tin. Hmm... me gonna get others the next time round. And you know something? I forgot to take a pic of the cake again!! *bashhead*. But but but..... I managed to capture it just before all was inside my tummy...:p



Abit gross I know.... but tt's the point mah..:p



We polished up all!!!



Cookies on my bed...*grin*


Din buy any other things le. Waiting for GSS mah... cheapo. :p But if GSS did not have what I want.. then I will go buy tt dress. *grin* And me gonna buy a pair of boots and flats and heels..wahaha!

Life goes on

Well, since I din finish my papers, I've got to submit the appeal letter and the MC that I have gotten. Hmm... hope they will allow me to retake bah. Anyway, with my TMA results, should not be a prob. But the thing now is... they dun have a sup paper. I will have to take the exam with the next presentation. Meaning if I am given the green light to resit for the paper, I will have 3 exams in Nov! But I think I can handle..V^^. The worse that can happen is not to continue the course... not such a big deal what.. rite? ^^ Have to take things easy bah....haiz.. But I will still try my alpha female dream..:p

Today is Sat but I spent the whole day back in the office..-_-".. cos audit coming mah. Haiz, now that the semester is over I should have some time on my hands. Shall plan how to spend. Hmm... what shall I do for tml? I will go for a run? Go Bugis and buy my bag? :p I shall go find a place... maybe Vivo on Monday to read a good book after my haircut and massage..^^

See open for Charlie and RC's case. See open for Alex case? ...I am getting back on track. Still waiting for the man on horse to sweep me off my feet.. :) Shall take things as it comes... all things happen for a reason..;)

Miss You

Did a very stupid thing today. I did not finish my exam. The ideas and theories are all in my head, but I just can't get anything out. I can't even string a sentence properly... and I think about you. Tears started flowing and I have to excuse myself to go to the ladies. I tot I could continue after letting go.... but I can't.

I tot I had it under control, that I can grieve all I want after today.. but I din make it. I did not have the time to grieve properly. I did not cry ever since the day he got into the accident, tearing, yes, but not crying. It felt so good that all is being let out. Lke the clearing of the tap, 1 gush, and everything was flashed away rather than tearing.. like the tap kana stuck like tt...haha. I miss you, and I will miss you. I kinda hate and envy you too. At least you are out of this dimension.... while I still have to suffer in it. It is really painful to see someone close to you go. Can I handle it when its my parents turn? What the fuck.... I hate LIFE!!

Dammit why the hell am I in this place? Can I just disappear? Dun even exist in any dimension? I m really sian, sian.... but what can I do except to look at the brighter side? What can I do except to live life fully since I am already here? What can I do except to handle the challenges that gets thrown into my face? I need a break......

Think I will be better prepared for my re-take bah. I should be ready by then...... Weicong, thanks for appearing in my life....Love you!

Alex is gone

Looking at the screen, I really dun know where to start. Just came back from the hospital and see him for the last time.

Alex, you've put up a good fight. You did not disappoint us. We saw how you responded to our calls... but I also understand this must be the toughest fight that you've ever fought. It has been over 1 mth le.... I think you are tired liao. Go ahead and rest bah....

Overwhelm

A lot of things happened recently... I am overwhelm. Fast fast concentrate on my PSCT and exam. I need good break.... really.

心情雷阵雨

心情超糟.......糟，糟，糟，糟....

天快放晴.....

也许....

“也许你不会了解，我的生命的期待。谁愿象云一般，独自遨游在天海。也许你不会了解，我依旧将飞翼展开。我有我的方向，不会迷失在无奈。”


也许你真的不了解，也许你已经不在 。

soarwithme

Info Overwhelm

Eh.... mood not very pretty these few days. First got to know something which I shouldn't know, next come the wedding (though I feel happy for him... but well, you know), then come Alex's condition... and did he found someone new? The last straw.. my RC is in a r/s le... :( I guess things get amplified when you are stressed i.e. my PMCT and exam coming next week.

Alex's condition is no good. This is the second time the doctor asked his mum if she is willing to let him go. His brain is already severely damaged because of the infection, even if he survives or wakes up, it will be very poor quality of life. I dun know... he hasn't been responding these 2 days, unlike last week. I know he is fighting very hard... and I think he is getting tired. It has been 1 mth le.... Is he trapped in his own body? Is he feeling helpless? 无奈? What is it that he wants? Told Ros I have this funni idea. You know chinese uses those kidney-shaped thingy to ask for permission or response from the "invisible beings"? I was thinking if I were given the chance, I will ask for his own opinion. Maybe his soul is just beside his body... watching everything that is happening ard him. Ros commented that I must have seen too much TV le.... eh... I think so too. -_-"

大国崛起

Just finished watching 大国崛起. Hmm... what makes a great leader? What are the attributes of a great leader that can led a country to glory and path the way to future endevours? How many wars and revolutions must there be for a overhaul of political changes? How come there are men out there who are willing to bring about changes and to challenge the norm? Maybe I should look at Dr Chee in a different light... I dun think there can be changes to any political system for belief or dynasty without blood shed and violence. Just look at history. Pray tell, where in history do we see great changes especially in power not ending with violence? Look at France, been thru 2 revolutions, 2 empires, 2 republics.... how many had shed their blood in the process? Who, in our little red dot dared to go against and lead a revolution against the present govt?

Hmm.... there were a lot of great philosophers in history... do we have any in our present times? Oh....haha, think there are a lot of self-proclaimed ones bah..keke. Interesting.... how ancient philosophers came out with all those ideas? Pluck from mid-air? Seems like it is quite interesting to read abt historians...especially great leaders and philosophers. Maybe I can go into philosophy after my psy and socialogy...haha..:p Makes me really wanna look at people and study them. Really absorb what is happening around to fully understand and appreciate life.

新的心境旅程

Hmm... supposed to go swimming today... but it rained and the worst thing was I went NTUC and bought 2 tubs of ice-cream!!! Wasn't I supposed to work out? Duh....-_-"

Was bathing... and tot of something (inspirations always happens when I am bathing..hmm..). I am 30 this year. I have learnt and explore myself for the past 2 years. And now I finally can accept and love myself, think its time for me to explore and to love others. 新的心境旅程吧！Life is a never ending learning journey.... 尝尽了人生的喜怒哀乐，悲欢离合，人生旅途才算完整。Haha.... I think I am ready to explore all things in life. But will I be able to handle it....well, guess we will have to wait and see. Did I mention I aspire to be an Alpha female? :p 1 to be desired by men and inspiration to women...Too old to have a dream? Nah, I will work towards tt...V^^

Oh ya, something on the side. After I went for the concert and heard Alan's songs... I realised 1 thing. The kind of woman that a man and a boy want is different. Me also think I am looking for a man now, not a boy..keke. But all men has a little boy in them...guess that is why they are so cute.. :p 恋爱的女人美，等爱的女人也美，要让自己保持最佳状态等待next better player 的到来. ;)

Alan Tam

Yo! Went to see my idol concert the other day! This was the first time I ever attended a pop concert. Bought the next most expensive tickets so that I can really see the face of him... and I did! V^^

Tried my best and zoomed my camera all the way.... these were some of the shots..







Hee... not bad hor. The audience were mostly in their 30s and 40s.. very few young ppl like me... :p Wow, sang so many of his songs... and its like a great KTV hall with everybody singing along with him and the lyrics projected out. The most happening part was the encore! Wahaha.... my, am I surprised that the wildness of Alan's fans was comparable to the young idols lor. They stamped on the rised platform where they sat, threaten the dismantle untill he came back for the encore...hahaha. And we even stand on the chairs (yes, you saw it rite, me joining the wild slightly "overaged" audience) to sing, dance and wave to our idols.... ;)

Me took some video clips also, but cannot show here cos it was taken with the camera shaking (me dancing to the songs and singing along you see :p)

Not too sure I will go for other concert in the near future...(gotta take care of my wallet) but yes, I enjoyed myself very muchie! Well, that's my report on my first concert!

想听的话

人是肤浅还是傻呢？明知道是花言巧语，明知道是谎言，为何还一厢情愿的相信呢？是不愿面对现实，是不想毁灭梦境.....

Sometimes we just need some nice words or rather words that we would like to hear to keep our sanity and hold our world coherent....

How to see open

失败与挫折只是让我们更珍惜将要来临的幸福！V^^

傻

失去才知道自己的傻
傻后才暗自的流泪
早知道没终点
为何要有起点？

Alex II

Went to see Alex just now. He looked so much better. And he seems to be responding to us. I talked to him, and his breathing pattern changed. That was what happen when his other friends talked to him too.. He wants to wake up! He will wake up!

I was wondering why I haven blah myself silly ever since his accident. Is it that I am not sad enough? Is it that I know he will be alright? Was it my training? I dun know. Maybe I need some catalyst like alcohol and our songs to bring out my tears that has been hiding? I dun know....

Today is the 10th day and it seems like ages to us. Alex, we will wait for you to wake up. Stop sleeping le, you lazy pig! :)

Out of Bounds

Hmm... why would a married man want to have affairs? Haiz, the temptations all around us. Is there still fidelity in marriages? I dun know lar, but for myself I will make sure I will never get myself involve with a married man, especially one with kids. No matter how tempting... tt's my principle. Cannot afford to take a wrong step in a moment of folly. A bit sian to be so clear-minded when it comes to affairs of the heart hor? But tt's moral for us. I have to recover fast and not think abt it... :)

Do I look like an easy ger? Why do I get this kinda proposal? This is not the first time liao... I dun know if they are joking or not lar... but I always state my stand. No flings for me... definately no, no.

Alex is still in a coma, haven regain conscious yet.... I pray hard for him...

Photos

I had sorted out our photos to be returned to him... but I never got a chance. I had 2 photos of him as a kid and wanted to return to his mum, but I tot better of it. Not at this time anyway.... Showed them the photo taken when the 3 of them were in Sec.3 at the Red Cross campsite. Wah, the picture is classic lor.... we had a real good laugh at how short and CMI Viz was. Most of the gers couldn't even recognised the 3rd guy was Alex! Saw him today... he is running a temp because of the wearing off of the drugs. Temp was 40 degree celsius. Hope tt will come down. Mum went to temple to pray and got an amulet for him also. So I told him over the glass door..."see, although you scared of my mum and she was pretty denfensive to you, she still got an amulet for you...so you must wake up!"

All of us are quite stable as of now cos there is no other news yet... but I can't be so sure for the next few days. What we are waiting now is to see if his temp will subside and if he will wake up. Doc said it will take 2-3 days... and that will be Mon.

Life...

the atmosphere is thick with emotions.. the humming of medical equipments and the digital screens displaying the organic functions of the body, together keeping him alive. he looks normal apart from all the tubes rooted into his body and gauzes which are planted in his nose and ears keeping blood in.. he looks so normal.. he is my friend, my brother..

there on bed 17, as almost still as he lays, he is fighting for a window to survive, he is fighting for the dreams yet to fulfill and the love he yet to blossom. there are so much and too many things for him to do.. he has to fight and he will.

tears poured uncontrollably inside and outside the room. the fact that he is the one lying on the bed is unconceivable. memories of him couldn't reconcile with the harsh reality now. why does the irony of life is for one who speaks the most to now making statement through silence.

brother, we still have whiskeys and wines to test, badminton to play. we still have to remind each other that we are friends of 17 years and beyond. you have to wake up! take your deserved rest and wake up.. .wake up.

posted by Viz @ Wednesday, April 11, 2007

RTA

Alex met with a RTA. He is now doing the emergency ops. According to the neurologist and what the PM told me, he has got serious head injury. He is unconscious and on breathing apparatus. The doctor won't know the outcome and how it will affect his neuro activites until he regain conscious after the ops. I do pray he will be alright......

On hindsight, is my recent brush with Oliver and the World Red Cross Day parade a tell tale sign? Anyway, it doesn't matter now. My heart wrench when I saw him motionless on the bed. Damn! I really wish he will be okay....


Footnote: Ops finished liao, but swelling in the brain not yet subside. They using medication to help. If this is no better, he might not be able to pull thru. I'm an optimisic person.... I am sure he will be able to fight thru it....

Alex

Updates : Alex had his second emergency ops this morning. The clot has spread over to his left brain liao. He is being sedated to allow his swelling and bleeding to stabalize. The drugs are going to knock him out for a few days. His brain was badly damaged and he is under observation to see if his condition will turn for the worse. Even when his swelling subside and the drugs wear off.... there is a possibility that he won't wake up. We will only know of his defects only when he wakes up.....
Alex, Alex, you must hang on there. I know you are strong-willed when you set your mind on something. I know you can pull thru if you want to. I know both of us were quite sian to be living in this world, but...... really, when things really happen, do you bear to leave those you love behind? I saw how your mum cried last night, I saw how Vinz and Roy cried....

I saw your MSN, but I know you are not behind your com this instant.... it felt so unreal...

I dun know, but it sound double standard now. When you are in a clear mind and that someone is not close to you, you would have preferred the person to shorten his agony but when it is your love ones, you will tend to harbour this hope that a miracle will happen and it will happen to you.....

Alex, pls hear us and hang on there... we will be there for you. Pls be safe..... We lost Jane and we can't lose you.

Nuisance

Went for 3 very stupid case for my last 3 day duties (1 day each) -_-". The call text for the first one was "Man lying in the canal". Wah, tot was a drowning case, even got my N95 mask ready... :p In the end, it was a case of drunkard fell into the canal. Make our firemen climbed down the canal (myself included) and carry him out.... Kns leh, drink go home drink lar, got yourself fallen into the canal... luckily its not raining that day.. if not sure another drown victim!

Like that still not enough, for the next 2 days, another drankard drank, make a nuisance of himself by making a den with his group of drinking kakis on the first day and sleeping along the road on the second day. What the f***! Really cannot stand them leh, dun know what their bird brain thinking one. Why must they make trouble for others? Can't stand drunkards!!! Argggg!!!! >:(

Quotes I

东南西北寻寻觅觅，我们都在寻找一个自己心目中的理想天堂。
可是往往等我们回到原点才会发现，原来这里就是天堂。
_________________________________________________
化
生亦何欢
死亦何苦
命似春梦
终归尘土
_________________________________________________
缘
缘起，萌芽于树梢上.
缘落，凋零于黄土中。
_________________________________________________

对你一份情深 一如我是心塌地 不离开过土地
你听到吗？我的歌声里 不再有少年的喜悦 确含有无影的泪。。
_________________________________________________

我问自己为谁停留 不再像浮萍随风漂流
只因为有你在我心中 我愿意付出一切所有
_________________________________________________

春天飘过的记忆 深深藏在我心底
却让我不愿再提起 是谁说过我爱你

Upset

My friend is sad.... why is he sad? I msg him just now...he has yet to reply :(

Haiz... read some articles on blogging in the papers today. Well, are we noncholant if we dun participate in the whatever is happening to the world now? I mean does it mean that if we dun report it in our blog? So what if you say or comment so much in your blog? Its all your views! Izzit going to change the world? Izzit going to reverse the effects of the tsunami? So what if you give your 3 cents worth? So what if ppl are lamenting that they hate their cereals instead of the world happenings? Its the individuals' life! Sure, the net is where there should be free expressions and speech... just be responsible for what you write. So does that cross the line if you just want to write what you think is important to you?

There is this flaming thing about this ger who report some person of defaming her. I mean she has her own freedom and rights to post whatever pics she wants in her blog ya? She can boasts how many LV bags she owns, she can lament on which Jimmy Choos to wear.... so? Why are there people flaming her on what she is writing? Unless it is some sort of racist remarks.... Ppl eat finish nothing to do ah? Why be green-eye and criticise on her extravagent lifestyle? Just because you dun have doesn't mean ppl cannot enjoy that....

So what if she is flaunting? You can flaunt if you have the means.... dun like, just dun visit her blog lar... But I must also add.. if the posts contains of demeaning or looking down on ppl (as our so call 'elite uncaring face') then its another story already. Maybe I shan't speak so much since I haven even visit the said person's blog... :p What I want to drive across is if you are critising people, then you have to be responsible for your words. If not, who are they to judge if you blog about your bad hair day or staving children in third world countries?

Perhaps you can say I am in a defensive mode since I dun blog about big things but rather a lot of minor r/s thingy... haha.

And like what I wrote abt feeling bad the past few days... ppl call me slutty without any evidence. Quite upset about it... wish I could tear that B**** mouth. You know what they say when people belittle another? Its inferiorty complexity.... continue to belittle people.. it only shows how insecure and inferior you are.

Regrets

Haiz... was browsing thru my friendster friend list. Miss my days in Navy man! Any regrets? Yes.... I should have stayed in the force. But well, tt's how life goes right? You made some choices, and shouldn't look back especially the regretable ones. Everything happen for a reason bah. Anyway, what's done is already done.... so I shall learn from that mistake and move on. Mum is right... I am still at the starting point after going round in circles.

Read a RC's profile of mine... well, he already has quite a few achievements at his age. Me? Nothing great under my belt. Time for me to move on and make some achievements. Life is just too short....

Tired

Just came back from my dance practise. Wah, very tired sia. Think tomorrow my bones will break! But it was a good workout, at least I did some excercise. :p The dance was not as exciting as I expected, just a simple dance. Well, maybe this is good too, I will take this as a revision on my techniques and improve on it (doing splits at 30..-_-"). You know it can help sculpture the body if you do all your workout seriously and correctly? So tired... yawning away as I am typing this entry. You know what this means? I should do more running and swimming le. Been almost 6 mths since I last went gym, and almost a year since I last dance, chinese dance I mean. Workouts are good, just that I am disappointed by my return today bah. Maybe I should manage my expectations, maybe I should just move on.. to another group or another dance.

Pretty sian at work recently. My rota medics are damn slack ah! Have to admit our rotas paramedics are pretty lenient, myself included. Haiz... its time for me to be the devil!. I have been holding this back for quite some time liao. Feel like giving them a pet talk and ask them to "WAKE UP THEIR B***** IDEAS! I was hoping there is no need for me to do this, I dun want to be the baddie but.... I will do my best to win them over lar, but worse come to worse I shall prepare my pictures to be thrown with darts or find a vodoo doll with my name on it... -_-" 我不如地狱，谁入地狱？Although I really dun feel like going to this hell..... haiz

On relationship issue, I am okay with someone younger than me but of cos the maturity must be there and can give me a sense of security lor. Like what I wrote in my previous entry... 只要好好地珍惜每一份缘，结果是怎样也不是那么重要了，不是吗? I have decided to do something. Whether anything happens, it is all 缘分了. At least I 把握每一个机会呢! If you dun try, you never know if it can be, but try too hard you might scared that person off, moderation is the key. . I understand 爱是不能强求的..... ^^

Leaders and Managers

For the past couple of weeks the singapore internet has been abuzz with chatter over the “proposed” pay hike for ministers and senior civil servants. Certainly more so than it would appear in the mainstream media. First, let’s just get a few things straight- one, the pay hike is pretty much a done deal, all the so-called debate is just a wayang show. Two, this pay hike is not a general pay hike for every single civil servant out there, mostly it will be the ministers and the senior grade civil servants who will be seeing a pay hike.

Its the same arguments on both side of the fence since the day the government decided to benchmark their payscale according to the private sector. I don’t think both sides will ever come to an agreement. It is what it is.

I can understand the need to pay a fair wage. Afterall, this is what everyone is working for isn’t it? But how do you decide what is fair wage? The world has become a topsy turvy world. Our priorities are all screwed up. I mean, an american soldier fighting in iraq, who puts his life on the line everyday, what does he get in comparison with Kevin Garnett or LeBron James. Those 2 guys who plays a children’s game will get paid more playing one game of basketball than a soldier probably ever will in his lifetime. Even within the same profession you can find people who sometimes due to luck and circumstances are paid far more than what they are worth. David Beckham who makes more money than anyone other football player is probably not even in the list of top 10 football players in the world. So is that fair?


Yet, our ever pragmatic government has decided, they must be paid a fair wage and they have all the facts and statistics to back them up. If you look at it purely from a pragmatic and economical viewpoint, I am sure its pretty much impecable and ironclad. I am not so unreasonable as to not see the logic within their argument. But ofttimes, in this world of ours, things usually go beyond black or white, right and wrong. There are always shades of grey. Sometimes being too pragmatic and logical can be detrimental to yourself.


The leaders in the government wants to be paid like executives. So is it any wonder that singapore is being runned like a corporation. Singapore Inc. Well, its hard to feel anything for the country when you find yourself being treated more like an employee than a citizen. At times, I wonder if the people within the government even knows the difference. They can talk all about national pride, loving your country and making sacrifices, but all it is is just empty talk and hollow rhetoric if they continue to treat people like economic units.

I no longer harbour any illusions about singapore. I know I am appreciated and tolerated as long as I am economically productive, but the day wil come when I will outlive my usefulness. What then? Already the government is talking about shipping the old and elderly out to nearby countries. Hey, its all about being pragmatic isn’t it. Out of sight, out of mind.

If you ask me today, will I lay down my life for singapore, I might ask you to fuck off if I am in a good mood. Where’s my sense of patriotism? Well, I am just being pragmatic like Lee Hsien Loong. Afterall why should I lay down my life for this country. Whereas, once I wouldn’t think twice about it, now, I know better. Our “leaders” have shown the way for the rest of the nation, who am I to say different. If they think being paid $1.2 million for their troubles is too little, who are they to start asking me to make sacrifices. They are looking out for number 1, so why shouldn’t I?

And if I call them leaders of the country, I am just being overly generous. They may think they are leaders, but all they are is just managers. They don’t lead the country, they manage it. There’s a difference. Think leader, think Leonidas in 300. Leaders will make you willingly do the things you don’t want to do. Leaders will inspire you to be better than you are. Leaders will make you want to put your life on the line for a greater cause. Leaders will give you courage when before you have none.

Look at the people in the government, anyone strike you as particularly leaderlike? I can understand zyberzitizen when he says he don’t feel inspired when looking at the current generation of leaders. These guys aren’t leaders, they are managers. Managers are people who you listen to because you have to, not because you want to. Managers are people who you don’t give a fuck about once they are not around. Managers are people who you obey only beause you have to and not out of respect. Not every manager is a leader. And not every leader is a manager. Sometimes a leader can simply be your peer, but who commands some much respect that you can’t help but want to be led by him.

Somewhere along the line I think Lee Hsien Loong has confused management with leadership. So I guess, we ought to start paying him like a manager, just don’t ask me to look at him as a leader. Sometimes you just can’t have it all.

http://www.insanepoly.com/blog/?p=316

---

Talking sense....

缘

hmm... pretty sad that my friend is still thinking about that 昙花一现的情缘。But I also understand the affairs of heart is not so easily understandable by 3rd parties. Anyway, this is just a 插曲，主题曲都还没上榜呢！;)

Well, I want to thank you for being there for me. I also know you have a lot of 红粉知己，但我也希望你能依靠我的肩膀，当你需要的时候，就像你如何扶持我。别看我瘦巴巴的，肩上能扛的却不少哦！Haha....

This is for you......(I know you will "see open" one)

世间缘起又缘灭，人生不过梦一回。莫笑世间情意玄，只怕醒时已成烟。“缘起缘灭，梦醒成烟”。只要好好地珍惜每一份缘，结果是怎样也不是那么重要了，不是吗？

舍得

舍得...舍得....要舍才可得... haha. Wise words!

Guess I dun wanna think so much, just let things happen and I will just sit there and look pretty.... ^^

Sucessful

Yeah! Just got the letter from school that my application for transfer of prog is successful! Hopefully I can excel better in Sociology bah.

Borrowed a book on Mind Mapping technique. Shall put that into use once I've finished the book. Seems quite interesting leh.

Well, a lot of things to do leh. Let's see

1. Train my right and left mind to interact by doing the...what's the name, "Visual Thinking". That shall train up the untapped portion of my brain!

2. Finished the Mind Mapping book and put it into practise

3. Eat supplements every nite. Gotta finish those bottles.

4. Drink DOM everynite, so as to maintain the my 气色

5. Gotta savour the every sec that I will be putting in for my dance practice. Take it as a form of relaxation and focus my mind and body for every session.

6. Live happily and fruitfully!

The TV station just finished playing "情陷夜中环2". Suddenly have this affiliation to Hong Kong after my trip. My friend said he felt like going back for shopping... I teased him that he very rich lor, like those rich man, fly to Japan for sushi, fly to Italy for spaghetti....wahahaha. But hor, me also feel like going back leh...hurhur. :p Why the sudden affiliation leh? 是人，是物还是事？说不上来，可能都有吧！

Happened to peep into my sec school autograph book while looking for the term "Visual Thinking". (This was actually a self-development course specially run for my school. Hmm... think it costed quite a bomb! :p). Read what my friends wrote abt me. Guess I'm not so much different from then. Adjectives like cheerful, energetic, happy-go-lucky, fun-loving especially 活泼，开朗 kept poping up in almost every entry by my friends. (Maybe they dun know what to write so copy each other's..haha). And words like hard-working and having positive outlooks from teachers.... I am really quite a hardworking student 哦! Haha.. I always say myself "老王卖瓜", you know why? Cos the next pharse is "自卖自夸"! :p

Okay, lets put what I have learnt into practise. The words above are my presonalities. Hmmm... cos these qualities have been pretty consistant in my behaviour, untill now. Actually, these qualities start to be apparent to me only in my teens... have I missed it while growing up? Guess this is what Erickson termed as the stage of "Identity Crisis" whereby you examine yourself and developed the identity and personality that you think you are. How you see yourself and how the world sees you.

Hmm... feeling positive tonight. Shall leave those serious and nagging thots for another time. Good Nite!

P.S. Long long time never write poems le... shall find some time to do it. 身心要健康嘛! V ^^

心情像天气

唉，心情真像天气啊！昨天还好好的，今天就糟透了！:( Maybe it has been sometimes since I last did physical stuffs bah. The new workyear is coming, I should take this chance to do some running and swimming to prep for IPPT le. Haiz... feel real sianzz.

Hate the feeling of being a sandwich and hate that I have to take into consideration all people's feelings when handling things. Damn! Should I be unpopular to drive things and ideas across and risk being alienated by the people? Or should I just heck care and do things the way it is supposed to be done? Dun like my driver today. I have problem with this guy. Drive me to my grave. Hate the control today too. The stupid ger was so noisy over the air. Really feel like rebutting her thru the air too.. humph! :(

Feel like shaving my head! But I know I will not have the courage to do that...NATO :p I can feel the tension growing on me. Maybe my colleague is right. I need a man... duh.

And there are this issues on the need to close the gap of the salaries of our minister and top seven professionals. What bs is that? But there is also nothing much we can do. Stage a demostration? Write a petition? Haiz.....

和平的代价

夜幕静悄悄笼罩着家园
离开黎明还有多远
绝望 彷徨 扭曲一张张的脸
走过生死边缘

梦魇 为何象现实一样真
苦难
像大海一样深
仇恨 烧红胸中热腾腾的火
为生命的尊严而战！

多少人用生命
鲜血和理想
换来一线和平的曙光
多少人的生命 鲜血和理想
写成一篇血泪的诗章！

每当我听到这首歌，我就起鸡皮疙瘩。乱世出枭雄，多少人用生命，鲜血和理想，换来一线和平的曙光。和平得来不易，别忘了和平的代价.......

I was talking with mum the other day. We felt that those who survived the war were very very lucky ppl. We should count our blessing....

Joven 1st Birthday!

Yo, yesterday Joven finally turned 1 lor!! Sis got a chalet for him, but more for she and hubby I think *rolleyes*. Here are some photos to share....^^



Cute hor? Happy 1st Birthday Joven! You must grow up to be a good boy yo! ^^

Lazy afternoon

Hmm... had the most expensive tea break this afternoon after a haircut at Kr+ (luckily got the 50% discount promotion ^^). Decided to pamper myself and went to The V Tea Room in Esplanade. Nice setting and ambience of olden victorian furnishing. Very nice place to have afternoon tea with your gerfrends... Tried their in-house speciality, the Baileys Irish Cream Liqueur TeaCake. Hmmmmmm..... delicious! I had the Earl Grey Lavender tea to go with it..ahhh... perfect! I like their in-house cookies too. They have all sorts of flavor, I like the lavander flavor, the rose flavor, the AppleCran berry ones.... and they make very presentable gifts too! Shall get a box as a house warming gift.... :) I was so greedy that it only occured to me after I finished the last bit of cake that I should have taken a pic of it before I stuff it into my mouth... so you guys can drool a bit.. wahaha. Well... here comes the most important part.. it cost me almost $30 for that piece of cake and that pot of tea!!! =.= Haiz.. the price for pampering myself...

Well, did some mental comparision between chinese and english tea. English tea have more flavors and more exotic while chinese tea are more or less tried and tested. Chinese tea is able to make you focus while english tea tend to make you relax.... if you ask me which I like. I prefer english ones. But when I want to focus and being healthy.. chinese is the way to go! Note: The above are purely my personnal opinions without any scientific claim... :p

Got back my TMA results le.. I scored 77. Eh....okay lar. Hope I can get better since this time round 40 marks are given i.e. straight forward answer.

K... getting Zzzzzz liao. Working day tomorrow. Nite!

Tidy Up

Hmm.... my room is in a mess. Gotta clear all rubbish out after I submit my TMA. Deleted some of my prev entries and made some modification to others. Felt so much better after deleting those negative energy away.... ^^

又是到了情绪大扫除的时间了，请和我一起拿起扫帚，把不快乐的情绪与心情统统扫掉吧！

刚才看到一张照片，惊讶自己为何那么不聪明。不明白当初为何为了这事而使自己不愉快。看清了，看透了，人也清爽了！^^

In sooth, I know not why I am so sad

Fliped back Act 1 Scene 1 of Merchant of Venice thanks to Christina. I think I now appreciate the play more than ever. Maybe that should be the way. We should revisit whatever we have encountered or studied before and savour what new feelings and meanings those words for us.

"In sooth, I know not why I am so sad
It wearies me;
you say it wearies you;
But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,
What stuff 'tis made of,
whereof it is born,
I am to learn;
And such a want-wit sadness makes of me,
That I have much ado to know myself . "

Dun know what I am feeling...

Duh, supposed to write this after my day duty 2 days ago. But I was feeling bad and lazy..... Felt miserable when I went for my last day duty. Dun ask me the reason.. I dun know. I was sulking all the way in firepost. Brought my laptop along to do my TMA but the bag was never opened. Busy day too... din have the time to key in my case records... :(

Had a patient that day. Chief complain was shortness of breath. Medical history is only diabetics. But when I arrived at scene, he was already diaphoretic (drenched in cold sweat). Wah, faster load him into the ambulance and monitor him. His heartbeat was very fast and the oxygen in his blood was very low, his condition was pretty bad. Just before we turned into the A&E, his pulse rate suddenly fluctuate greatly. I was so scared that I immediately prepared my defib pad by the side just in case I need it. And guess what? He went into VF (venticular fibrillation, a shockable rythm) after I unloaded him and on our way into the resucitation room! I shouted "VF!!" and the doctors and nurses all went into action. Managed to get the patient back, thank goodness! I only realised my legs were shaking when I was at the counter doing the registration.....the autonomic system really prep you for "fight and flight" man.. -_-"

But still feel sian the whole day.......zzzzzzz

Burdens/Own responsibility?

Just finished reading mrbrown's webbie and this site has this very interesting entry regarding some response to his previous posting. "Pre-screen your babies to save society the burden, says reader". Read all the comments on that post and I must say I agree mostly with John Smith. If the parents knowingly decided to keep the child with abnormilities even when in the womb, then they should be responsible for the upbringing of the child. Of cos, additional help is always appreciated but if no help is given, then they should bear all responsibility to bring the child up no matter what. We all know how parents love their children no matter how they turn out to be, its parental instinct and I believed parents will do all they can to ensure the most comprehensive care is given to their precious.

There will be ppl who argue with this point, that an abnormal child will have a more difficult childhood then a healthy child. Have the parents consider the discriminations that the child has to go thru for the rest of his/her life? Have they consider how this is going to affect his/her mental state? Are they prepared to shoulder the blame should the child blames them for bringing him/her to this world? Who should take care of them when the parents grow old and die? I am not saying the children will have no value in the society... tt is so unfair. What I am driving at is the responsiblity of the parents. Yea.... in the most ideal world, the world will be filled with love and care. Everyone are brothers and sisters, we shall care for each other with no personal agenda whatsoever. But...... do we see it now? What I see is just practical, cold, hard reality of life! People have evolved... into practical, goal-oriented or should I say to a certain extent... robots.

Yes, go ahead and have tons of kids when you can't even feed yourself, go ahead and educate your kids that less is more and be thankful just for the chance to come into this world. Call me pathetic, heatless or just morbid, I do wish I was not born. Even I am a healthy, able-bodied being. Why bring a life to this world knowing its ugly, its painful and I see no meaning in living? I dun know, maybe you can argue that I am in no position to speak for anyone, even the foetus in the womb. Maybe..... they will lead a more meaningful life than me and not blame me for bringing them into this world.

Outgrown

Yo, been reading the comments for my previous entries and at the same time read the entries themselves. Hmm... I have been writing since 2005 leh. Written so many things le. And of cos as with all diaries, certain feelings will be evoke when you re-read them. Well, glad that most of the problems troubling me last time had already been sorted out. Yeah!

Finished "Princess Hours" le. So sweeeet and touching! Hmmm.... count your blessing if you found someone who dotes and will be able to take care of you. I guess although Charlie was a good catch, maybe I still do not have the confidence that he is the one that I can rely on for the rest of my life bah. Maybe tt accounts for my relectuance towards a marriage with him. *Shrug*

无题

日久生情，由怜生爱，不是不可能发生的事情。倘若发生在你身上，你会珍惜它么？

不需太多的千言万语，无需华丽的礼物，只要一句关心的话语，只要知道不是孤军作战，我就有勇气面对将面临的挑战。

I remembered I was very unsettled inn one of my previous relationship. I requested my then boyfriend over the phone to say " 请不要放弃这段感情 ". Although it was just words and there wasn't any promise, it enabled me to put my unsettling feelings into perspective. Please do not underestimate the power of comforting words because you never know your words can make someone stronger not alone. Please do not forget to say these to your love ones. Let them know your feelings to prevent misunderstanding and to let them know you will be there for them. 爱情的道路原本就是需要两人携手迈进的。

Personality

Had my lecture yesterday. Interesting topic... we discussed personality. Personality traits are persistent behaviour of a person. Meaning, in most situation, that person will display that kinda behaviour. There are theories on describing what kind of personalities are out there and theories on what causes personality. It sounded stupid and illogical when Hippocrates (an ancient philosopher/physician) suggested that personality has to do with the fluid in our body... thus creating a basis for ideas like what personality to which blood group. Then there was William Sheldon's Somatotype, which suggested personality has to do with body shape.... *rolleyes*. I mean I felt quite ridiculous about these theories when I was studying them yesterday and think that the most logical theory to explain our personality is probably due to our brain and cognative activites! However, I still remember not so long ago, I am still very interested in books explaining personalities according to our blood type and zodic sign. Duh.... how do you explain that? Why is it that ppl are still so into understanding personalities other than scientific explainations.. myself included? Hmmmm... something for me to think about. Tell me if you know... or I'll post again when I find out... heh heh.

Haiz.... chasing the korean drama "Princess Hours". Hee.. the princess very cute lor. So young, so exciting and so innocent their love concept was. Will I be able to feel that way again? Well, call me lazy or dreamer.... I hope my love will fall from the sky... Best if he can be as tender and loving as the leads (plus handsome)....wahahah.

Update

Oh... just realised I never update for quite some time le. Haiz, I was working on CNY eve and over the holidays and I found out that there were a lot of DOAs over these few days. All pretty old liao, my colleague said perhaps they were able to leave peacefully after the reunion dinner and seeing that there was no need to worry for the family. Maybe bah, but I still feel bad having to announce the bad news to them. On NY some more....haiz. Life is really short and fragile man. Please treasure it yeah?

最近心情不是很漂亮，再强悍的灵魂也有脆弱的时候，不过我一定能克服！加油！

Articles from Her World

In these days and age, are there really marriages for those tt truly love each other and willing to work towards a fruitful marriage? That both won't just give up at the slightest adversity, that both respect each other and adhear to fidelity, that both really care for each other and not to fear or guard against each other? Is it only wishful thinking on my part to hope for such a marriage? To all my friends out there, I really wish that you guys will have a blessful marriage and have that significant other to walk with you for the rest of your lives. :)

Finally

Finally finished my TMA liao!! Just submitted. YEAH! K, can update my blog properly le. CNY holiday just passed. Haiz, quite different from last year CNY lor. I was so enthusiastic and keep posting greetings and full of hope for the new year. Look at me this year....kns, no mood for anything. :(
Hopefully can get my energy back.

Caught up with Sam recently. 1 funni guy. Haha. I like his MSN tagline " 童话休止符 ~ 童话般的结局 仙境中的梦 总有醒来的时候 " It really is time to wake up, but I believe all of us deep down really want to believe happily ever after is possible... haha. What is life without hope? :p

He has this compilation of qoutes and there are a few which I like

"我的傷痛是因你的承諾"

"過去的日子 像在慢慢放下重擔 但當重擔放下後 又捨不得那種感覺"

"就算愛你是錯 我也願意一直錯下去"

and this one he told me, he immediately tot of me
haha....it really is me..:p

"明知跟你沒機會 卻總是等著奇蹟出現 我這樣的笨想法會令你感動嗎"

"寧願開始孤獨,也不要繼續糊塗去愛你"

"不想痛 不等於不再痛"

我对这几句话都很有共鸣，你呢？

---

Just came back from visiting. Kaoz, got a real real surprised when the gers told me about this. A sec school friend of mine has gotten married and her kid is already 1 years old. I din know abt it actually. That is not the only surprise, the most surprising thing is her husband was a fomer teacher in my school! Can you beat tt? I mean we have heard and watched on TV 师生恋 but a real one involving your friend? and the age gap is 28 years apart! Actually we already sense that they were close when in school that time but who would have tot it really happen? No. I am not prejudiced against them, I just need some time to absorb all these in. Haiz... "问世间情为何物呢?" But I must admire their guts and courage to go thru this together.....

哭

好久没哭了，真想好好地哭一场！哭，也是一种感情的表达方式罢了。不一定是伤心才哭泣。闷气，怨气，或是感情放纵都能随着泪水流出你体外，让心情更清幽，更平静。我好想哭。。。

SAF Officers Creed

Tada! This is the Singapore Armed Forces Officer's Creed. Garang hor? I know a lot of S'pore guys will snurb at this cos I must agree not all Officers lived up to the creed and possessed the values. However, whenever I read this creed, it gives me lots of courage to face the adversity that I come to face with. It reminds me that I have been thru it, and I can do it again.

Every individual needs some thing to motivate him/her and mine is the memories of enduring and overcoming the training in OCS. Although I am no longer in the force, I still try to remind myself to practise the values.I missed the days when we really push overselves physically and mentally. Do I want to go thru it again? Haha... maybe.

Eh... I was thinking I should go out and meet more people. Perhaps to join a dating agency? :p Maybe I should be more open-minded and not judge a book by its cover. I realised I am more comfortable meeting new people thru mutual friends or in a group setting. I've always thought I am pretty sociable and friendly. Hmm..... maybe its another story if the other party is attractive bah....haha. See... having a nice exterior always have adventages. Sad but true.. *shrug* I should go dating more, maybe I will find that dating is fun actually! :p

Our Lions just won us the Asean Cup at Bangkok moments ago! 3-2! Rrrrrrr..... Way to go! We are the 2nd 3-time winner country after Thailand. Wonder if it will further affect the 2 countries already soured relationship.. haizz.

More Quotes III

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
- Steven Wright

The tongue weighs practically nothing yet few people can hold it!
- foxiii ryder

*Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
- Unknown

A leader is one who sees more than others see, who sees farther than others see, and who sees before others see.
- Leroy Eimes

Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So let's get wasted and have the time of our lives!
- Unknown

You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.
- Al Capone

---

* My fav.....:)

太傻

是我太乐观了，是时候放弃了.....

盖被

最近天气好冷，好想叫他记得盖被。我是不是很傻？
偏心是人之常情，总有不对等地对待......

Well, school is starting, maybe my hectic schedule will lessen my egony bah...(which I doubt so... haiz)

Brain Matters

Hey hey, seen real brain matters for the first time in my life today! Went for an RTA, I dun even know it was the brain. I tot it was some kind of innards i.e the intestine etc. The apperance is not jelly beancurd-like as what some of them described. It looked more like the raw chicken meat with fats but come to think of it, it did look pretty soft-like. So.... my prev anxiety on stunning when I see brain matters is no longer valid, cos now I know I will still be okay if I see it. The next challenges are [s]decapition[/s] decapitation and hanging case. :p Of cos I won't wish for them..... but we shall see if I have the chance bah....

Working for another 2 days and I am already yawning away. *yawn*. K bah, shall end here.....

Dinner with Ah Cheng

Hmmm...just came back from dinner with Ah Cheng. Haha, enjoyed our date man. We talked a lot and I think we belong to the same type of ppl. Guess tt's because we have the same view of what BGR is and acknowledge our weakness. Though we know the rules and what it is , there is really nothing we can do about it cos we are all in the game. Haha. Also long time no spar with him on poems le. No inspirations *shrug*.

We share the same taste for songs also. Haha, its him who is "chao lao" lor. Not from the same era....:p

Is there really a need for a stronger party in a r/s? I guess so cos you need balance in everything. So is it true that 谁沉得住气，谁就占上风？I dun want it to be like this leh. I dun want any power struggle in my r/s. I dun believe in 吊人味口。那不是我的作风。I like it will say, I dun like I will also make it clear. I won't play hard to catch. Is tt good? Like I always say 人是泛贱的动物，太容易得到的东西是不会珍惜的。Sigh...so must 吊高来卖才珍贵？Haha. I dun like to play mind games, so tt means I will always lose out lor... :p

Ah Cheng told me there is only this girl tt makes him have to urge to hug her since his last r/s. He is very happy that there is still someone who can make him feel this way cos he tot his heart was dead. I told him to go ahead.... if he does that when he is sober, be prepared to face the consequences lor.... cos no excuse liao mah. Haha. He is the same pattern as me. Like to 破釜沉舟， 不让自己留后路。Is it very silly of us? Maybe....

Okie, enough of all these love love affair. Kns, 5 calls last nite, with 4 standby cases...-_-". I almost fogot the "new medic curse". There is this belief that new medics very sway one. Sure will kana jialat jialat cases when they first on the run and ya lor, had this new guy with me last nite...*tiano*

Anyway, tt is all for today's update...... 此时的心情也说不上来。算了吧，睡觉去....