无奈

Leo and Scorpio Love Match
When Leo Dates a Scorpio
By TAROT.COM

Scorpios prefer to play out their dramas in private, and might find the Leo's loud roar childish and hard to understand. Scorpio needs a lot of emotional space and clear boundaries, while Leo needs over-the-top displays of love and affection. Leo might not get what they need with a Scorpio, who is more reserved with their love. It's not hopeless, though. If Leo can learn not to express absolutely everything they feel, all the time, and their Scorpio can understand that Leo needs attention and make an effort to be more demonstrative, Leo and Scorpio can make it work.

Scorpio and Leo Love Match
When Scorpio Dates a Leo
By TAROT.COM

Leos are outgoing and flashy, often grabbing the limelight away from less showy signs. Scorpio wants to be respected and recognized for their accomplishments, and if Leo steals attention away from Scorpio, they'll find it unbearable. Scorpio and Leo are both fixed signs, which means they can both be stubborn when Scorpio wants to be - and they often do. This isn't an impossible relationship, but it will require a lot of compromise and acceptance on both sides. If Scorpio and Leo can pull it off, they'll both be rewarded with a loving, loyal partner who is in it for the long haul.

:(

Are You the One For Me?

Yo, reading this book by the same author Barbara De Angelis (Click on the Title for the link) Wah...like this book man. Basically guiding you or rather provide you the pointers to be in a healthy relationship, not a toxic one. To find the Right Partner for you... not just any partner.

It also discuss why we choose the people we love, avoiding who's wrong, marrying for the wrong reasons and even a compatibility formula! I will just list down 1 interesting part that most of us will be familiar with.

To be in a fulfilling relationship depends not only on LOVE. Okay, not too romantic if you think about it but not matter how much we deny, deep down we all know it requires much more than just love to maintain a relationship.

We all got our ideas of love and romance through novels, movies, songs etc etc. Sigh... how I wish my love life will be as romantic as in the movie or as sweet as in a song. However, Barbara believes that we do not make intelligent choices on love because we believe in the Deadly Myths about Love.

MYTH #1
TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL

MYTH #2
WHEN IT IS REALLY TRUE LOVE, YOU WILL KNOW THE MOMENT YOU MEET THE OTHER PERSON

MYTH #3
THERE IS ONLY 1 TRUE LOVE IN THE WORLD THAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU

MYTH #4
THE PERFECT PARTNER WILL FULFILL YOU COMPLETELY IN EVERY WAY

MYTH#5
WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE POWERFUL SEXUAL CHEMISTRY WITH SOMEONE, IT MUST BE LOVE

Alright, I know you will not agree to some of the myths as it is pretty clear that there is no logic... for example #5. I'm sure most of us will not believe it. But I'm also pretty sure most of us hold and believe some from #1 to #4. Some people might argue that they are not myths, but the truth about love. Well, your life is yours and it is up to you how you want to live it. Nobody can change you if you do not want to change.

For myself, I think I fall for #1, 2 and 3. Haiz.... it is really scary to think that the beliefs you hold true to now is not the truth. I mean it is soooo romantic to believe what was written above, don't you agree? But I guess we have to come back to reality. And it is a bit scary...to tell the truth.

I decided to do the exercises in the book because I am committed to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship.



Of cos the main reason is "Because I'm worth it." *wink*

The Real Rules

Went to the library to get a few books so that I can will away my time for standby for the F1. I will be at UOB building, so I won't have a chance to see the action but I least I get to hear the tires screeching.... :p

Just finished this book by Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D "The Real Rules"(Click on the main title for a link) talking about dating rules to find the right man for you. Interesting read. It dispute some old rules of dating from our mother's time like acting hard to catch, have to maintain mysterious to capture a man's heart etc etc. In place, she established a new set of rules that most women now would agree more on. At least I do.

I especially like the Chapter on "4 stages of commitments in a relationship". That basically sums up what I was trying to do and boy am I glad that someone thinks the same way too.

Sometimes when a woman wants a commitment from a man, it not necessary mean marriage.

Commitment level #1 : Commitment to be sexually and emotionally monogamous
Time line: 0 - 3 mths

Basically means exclusive dating. Meaning you dun sleep around and have other intimate relationship with another person

Commitment level #2 : Commitment to work towards a partnership
Time line: 3 - 6 mths

This stage is called A Developing Relationship
When you feel:

• Your relationship is getting better and better
• You are sharing most aspects of your time and life together
• You are starting to think as a "we"

then you are ready for a Level 2 commitment.

Agreements you and your partner should make includes:

• You and your partner agree that your relationship is special and worth nurturing
• You and your partner agree that your relationship has the potential to be a lasting partnership
• You and your partner agree to work together through honestly communicating feelings, looking at your own blocks to intimacy, and learning to understand one and other in order to create that potential lasting partnership

Commitment level #3 : Commitment to spend your future together
Time line: 6 mths to however long you need

The time spend on this level is up to individual and couple. On the age and their relationship experience. Those younger need a longer time while those in their 30s and with relative experience and know what they want may spend a shorter time at this level. This is where a couple builds their foundation.

You are ready for a Level 3 commitment when

• You have created a strong and healthy partnership that is functioning well most of the time
• You feel sure that you want to spend your future together, if not for the rest of your life
• You have no desire to investigate anyone else as a possible partner
• You feel totally loved and appreciated by your partner almost all the time
  

Agreements you should make with your partner at this level

• You and your partner agree that you want to spend your future together
• You and your partner agree to formalise your commitment by either:
  - becoming engaged to be married
  - planning on becoming engaged as soon as you can
  - deciding to live together
• You and your partner agree to continue working on yourselves and the relationship in order to eliminate any remaining doubts or obstacles to a successful lifetime commitment

Commitment level #4 : Commitment to spend the rest of your lives together

You are ready for a Level 4 commitment i.e Marriage
When:

• You've had a Level 3 commitment for some time (engaged, living together etc) and have worked through whatever circumstantial obstacles or emotional issues were in your way.
• You have total trust and faith in your relationship and its ability to continue to grow as well as survive whatever adversity it faces
• You feel excited about exploring deeper levels of love, intimacy, and surrender with your partner
• You are sure that you and your partner have enough compatibility to be "right" for each other

There! You have it, when you are ready for Level 4 commitment, Congrats, you are ready for a marriage. Agreements will be your marriage vows... :)

If your partner does not agree to any of these or that when you are ready for a higher level of commitment but not him/her, then maybe it is time to move on.

You may think it is not at all romantic to have to go thru all these steps and thots. Shouldn't marriage or THE ONE come naturally? Like whistles and bells and you know instantly when you meet the right one? I would love that too.... but I think you have to love with both your heart and head. That will minimise a lot of heartaches later.

Sure glad that is my COA too...^^
Maybe I can write a book too......hmmmm

Evolution of my couple behaviour

Yo, another entry on myself... narcissistic hor? :p

Well, I have been thinking these few days on how much I have changed in terms of my behavior in a relationship. Started since 16...haha. I'm sure there are much changes.

I was not really into holding hands or holding waist with my first love. I was independent and boyish. Need no pampering. He complaint I was not feminine enough. That I was okay with or without love or partner. Steadfast on what I expect from a boyfriend and his behavior. I was the go-getter and winner. Never a whimper.

But as I grow older and had more relationships, I started to learn about how to behave and expect from my various partners. I learn that I should be more feminine. I learn to be romantic and create memories on special events. I learn to enjoy pampering from my boyfriends. I learn that communication is VERY VERY important in a relationship. Must always communicate your tots and feelings about your partners to them. How they make you feel, how they are upsetting you. Showing appreciation by a simple "thank you" for the time and effort they spent on you. Even for just loving me. Everyone likes to be appreciated and acknowledged. That you should show your love not only by words, but by physical contact too. A simple kiss on the cheek, a simple hug at the end of the day. I've evolved to be more mushy, more girly, know how to 撒娇 more with each relationship. Guess my bfs have all spoilt me... :p

However,some common comments they have of me was that I have the mentality of a guy. I know what I want in a relationship, never draggy, never needy. I love myself more than any of them. That I am very relax on their reins and they have all the freedom to do their things and meet their friends.

Then I guess age and things I saw changed me. I thought I should not be such a superwoman and be a "小女人" afterall. That I should place relationship as the top priority. Seems it doesn't work that way anyway. Some people find that too "sticky" or "needy". Isn't it ironic that things dun work out the way when I change my style? Maybe I should go back to how I behave in the begining.

Or maybe the challenge is for me to know when to be superwoman and when to be "小女人". But really, I can't see myself revolving just around a guy. I still can't be a "小女人". I cannot take it down that I have to be the one changing and making the relationship work. I dun think this is the way a relationship should be.

But I can't help wanting to take it up as a challenge? Hmmm..... 人很泛贱 hor?

Have to be Happy

Oh no! I was reading my prev post and I realised how sad my blog sounds now! This is very bad!

Gotta blog more on happy happenings.... say CHEESE! ^^

I think

I think when you are no longer interested in what is happening in your partner's life. The love has already died.

Tired Night

Wah... had a very tired night last night. 5 calls and the last one lasted for 3 hrs!! Haiz.
Now having gastric and feeling a bit sick. Hopefully I am okay by tml... still another 3 more day duties.. :(

Haiz, went for a threaten to commit suicide and killing her children case yesterday. She just gave birth, husband wanted to divorce her and marry anther woman. So she locked herself in her room holding a knife threaten to kill the child. Wah, used a lot of resources man. Negotiation and counseling took 3 hrs before she released her 2 yr old son and new born. Must be the stress from post natal and the fact that the husband had an affair that make her snap.

Another case of hanging attended by another colleague of mine was a 55 yr old woman who hung herself after discovering her husband had an affair too. Haiz.... soooooo sad rite? Makes one thinks of where is the promise that couples made when they are solomanised. Are people so forgetful? You know, I dun know if I will ever react that way if it was me in the situation. Maybe I'm all sane and resonable now to know that all these are silly but when you are in depression, you never know when you will just snap and do funni thing. Sigh..... tired, dun want to think so much liao.

Go play with my new laptop...haha... chaozzz

See open!

Hmm... so proud of myself these days. I've came to accept and see open the situation le.
I'm still myself and of cos my principles stays the same. Ha.. so I did not change afterall.
Just that I am now more aware of my different feelings and reactions. And I can then better control them that way.

Like what was agreed at first, we dun know how it will end.
So I should be at peace with what I am doing and how it will eventually end.

Cheers to me! ^^