Careless me

Hiya, went to quite an interesting case on my previous nite duty. The patient was a 40+ yr old man complaining of neck pain and vomiting. Check his GCS was 15 but we load and go anyway. His wife told us that he complaint of headache for the past few days, but no signs of trauma. His conditions are as follows:

GCS: 15
BP: 180/113
No med history, complaint of pulling neck pain and vomitting.

His condition was quite stable enroute except that his BP was consider high since he has no history of hypertension. He could even transfer himself over to the hospital trolley when suddenly the doctor ordered him to be pushed to the resus area. His GCS suddenly dropped to 3! BP at that time was 208/ 130. The doctor suspect to be SAH and commented that we should call for standby if the BP is extraordinary high with no history of hypertension. I was so sad! How could I have missed the possibility of him sustaining HI? All the signs and symtoms are pointing to it..... I should not have take for granted that the patient was conscious and alert enroute doesn't mean his condition will not deteriorate.... *wallbash* HIAZZZ....

The best thing I've done for my last duty was my correct initiating of the correct protocol for an asthma attack patient. The poor boy called for ambulance himself when his asthma attack and he had difficulty in breathing. When we arrived, the boy was lying on the step of the lift lobby leading to his condo apt. Told me he has got an asthma attack and took a lot of alcohol. Upon auscultation, bilateral wheezes heard and so I gave him ventoline. He was drank, but still remembered his belongings that includes 2 stalks of roses made of serviettes. But there was a petal that was burnt.... :( So sweet..... but I guess the poor boy drank because of BGR. Perhaps he was trying to woo a girl and was rejected, or that he was trying to win back his girlfriend since he is still serving NS. Haizzz........ see open a bit lar... why get yourself drank and initiate an asthma attack?? Not worth it to lose your life over a girl rite?? Haiya.... luckily you can still call the ambulance to save yourself.... *rolleyes*

His lungs cleared after the dose of ventolin when we arrived at the hospital. Yah for me!! :p Hmmm..... should I have spoken more to the boy to find out what is really bothering him? Most of the time while enroute, other than asking for the relevant info and assuring them, I seldom talk to the patients. Am I being professional or am too cold? Should I comfort them and maybe lend a listening ear to them? *Shrug*

Raised my voice at a drunken patient in the ambulance. He was making a din and waving his arms ard, not answering to my questions. "UNCLE ! CAN YOU STOP MOVING YOUR ARMS ? WE ARE TRYING TO TAKE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE! PLEASE COOPERATE WITH ME FOR A FEW MINS! " and he indeed quieten for that few mins...phew.. *sweat* "THANK YOU (and you can continue your nonsense :p) " So fustrating when we were doing our things, I even tried taking his BP on his legs!! My medic was like quite shocked that I can be that firm to the patient cos he has never seen me in that kind of light given my cheerful, smiling and crapping character....kekeke... :p So, moral of the story, dun judge a book by its cover.... ;)

Wasn't too happy abt my mentor. He is SEXIST!! >:( I am not feminist but I dun like males stating that female are the weaker sex. Urgument started when I wanted to learn sliding down the pole since our new station design is so un-1-min activation time friendly. Know what he said? "Gers should not go down the sliding pole" Duh.... what kinda logic is that? What about our firewomen? "Technically speaking they are not woman...." WTF? Look down on women ar?? My training in the SAF is fake ar? And he die die want to win one lor.... kaozz *rolleyes* Dun understand them, MCPs!!! Last time Navy also like that. Now here also like that. Angry.... >:(

Courage

Duhzz.... it happend to me AGAIN!! I've typed the entry almost to the last few sentences when it hang and all my work are gone.... *sob sob*. Now I will just write 1 topic.... -_-"...

A frend called me the other day on a problem he is facing. According to him, he felt I have always been 1 that can make very tough decisions *raise eyebrow*. Haa... I din know I gave ppl that kind of image. Well, this frend is a childhood frend and we have known each other since our teenage days. Maybe he saw me making all those controversial decisions that most ppl won't make bah. Like joining the Arm Forces, leaving the Arm Forces, setting my own biz, closing down the biz, joining the property industry and finally going back to the uniform line. Not fogetting my decisions on long-term relationships that lasted for years. Haaa... frankly speaking, I also dun know where I got all those courage from. But I believe you only lived once, and you should live it to the fullest. As long as you are happy.

There are ppl (like my mum) who would view all these decisions I made as irresponsible. Then what is being responsible? Do you think you will be happy if you make a certain decision because of obligation? Everybody has their own right to be happy, in their own ways. Nobody owe you your happiness other than yourself. It is up to you how you want to view that nasty incident you've encounter. That is what I always believe bah, you and only you is responsible for your happiness. Dun go ard blaming the heaven or earth on why the world is so unfair cos the world has never been fair. Snap out of it and face the fact. Although I do agree there are some responsibilities that is your duty to fulfill, something that you cannot run away from eg. to parents, to kids, to families. Especially to the kids. If you do not have the confidence to give your children the love and concern they need, then please, dun bring another life into the world to suffer......

What does it takes to make a decision that you know people ard you would disapprove of? Loads and loads of courage. My frend also asked me when is a good time to break bad news, ermm.... I told him there is no good time to break bad news...haaa something that I learnt recently :p . Is it easier to make the next tough decision after you've make the 1st one. Haaa... the answer is NO. Every decision has its own set of considerations. It will never be easy to make tough and unpopular decisions. If I were to say its easy for me to make all those decisions, I would be bluffing. I was frighten to step into the unknown, afraid of making a wrong choice. Frankly speaking, the toughest decision I make is still the most recent one. I still dun know if it is a correct choice, but it seems like the most viable option at that time. Though it caused a lot of inconvenience and disappointment among many people, I still believe it is up to the individual to handle the disappointment. It is not my obligation to make sure everybody is happy when I am not. It might be very selfish of me to say that, but come on, everybody is selfish in 1 way or another.

I can say all that, but for every "bad" decision I made, the amt of time to work out the courage is not within a short time frame. The only reason why I guess I could make those decisions is most probably due to the principles that I live by, "make your decision and bear all consquence for better or for worse" & "长痛不如短痛". What I can offer is to look for the courage to enable you to carry your decision through. It will take some time, but once you found the courage, there is no turing back. "Belief gives you Strength, Love gives you Courage".

心目中的好男人

心目中的好男人（22歲時第一次寫）

1.帥 2.迷人 3.有錢 4.忠實的聽眾 5.風趣 6.體力好 7.衣著合宜 8.品味高雅 9.時時讓我驚喜 10.狂野浪漫的好情人


心目中的好男人（32歲時改寫）

1.五官端正 2.會幫我開車門，拉座椅 3.肯花錢帶我上館子吃頓好的 4.聽的比說的多 5.聽我講笑話，該笑時會笑 6.肯幫我提菜籃 7.好歹有條領帶 8.喜歡吃我煮的菜 9.不會忘了生日及週年紀念日 10.一週至少抱我一次


心目中的好男人（42歲時改寫）

1.還像個人－禿子也無妨 2.等我上了車才開車3.工作穩定－偶爾在麥當勞請吃大餐 4.還肯聽我說話 5.聽得懂笑話 6.搬得動傢俱 7.會找遮得住"小"腹的襯衫穿 8.不會笨到去買須要開瓶器的香檳 9.上完廁所能把馬桶蓋歸位 10.每週刮鬍子


心目中的好男人（52歲時改寫）

1.偶爾剪個鼻毛及耳毛 2.不在公開場合打嗝或挖鼻孔 3.有點債信 4.我興緻來的時候，不會呼呼大睡5.一樣的笑話不講N次 6.週末還肯離開沙發 7.會穿成對的襪子及乾淨的內衣褲 8.肯吃電視快餐 9.多少記得別人的名字 10.偶爾刮個鬍子


心目中的好男人 (62歲時改寫）

1.不會嚇壞小朋友 2.還記得浴室在哪 3.大病沒有4.醒的時候鼾聲不大（睡的時候可以大聲些） 5.還記得為何發笑 6.還站的起來 7.不會光著身子亂跑 8.肯吃軟食 9.還記得假牙在哪 10.還記得怎麼回家


心目中的好男人（72歲那年改寫）

1.活著就好 2.活著就好 3.活著就好 4.活著就好 5.活著就好 6.活著就好 7.活著就好 8.活著就好 9.活著就好 10.只要活著就好一切都無所謂

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Wahahaha.....ROFL...

12 Types Of Women To Avoid

Every single one of us has made mistakes with women. We've been conned, duped and dazed by physical attraction. We've made fools of ourselves by kissing the feet of females who treated us like dirt. We've wasted countless hours and spent small fortunes chasing after women who lied to us and used us, and turned out to be rotten.

But do we learn from our experiences? No. Every time we think it's going to be different. We think if we just try harder, or do one little thing differently, the result will change.

Well, it's not going to change. If you keep pursuing the same kind of woman, you'll just get your heart broken over and over again.

Keep a watchful eye out for the following list of women, and you'll be one step closer to curing yourself of habitual bitch-dating:

1- Miss Feminist

This woman postulates that all the ills of society are orchestrated by men and the best thing a man can do to improve himself is cut off his testicles and grow a pair of ovaries. She believes that women are angelic creatures who would make the world a utopia if only the male "patriarchy" would allow them to. Any woman who promotes these absurdities lives in a fantasy world and will have no problem at all treating a man in a way that she would never herself abide by. You can easily identify her by her incessant mantra, "All men think with their penises." Avoid her at all costs.

2- Miss Take

She's out for your money -- pure and simple. Miss Take is the ultimate in high maintenance. She expects a man to finance her entire life just because she is biologically female. To her, a man should pay for drinks, dinners, trips, flowers, and jewelry, while she feels absolutely no guilt or compulsion to reciprocate. She is nothing but a whitewashed prostitute. Miss Take thinks her vagina is plated with gold and is worth a million dollars. She is greed personified. Since she has no concept of someone else's feelings, her only interest is in getting what she wants. And don't be fooled -- some apparently very "nice" girls are the greediest of them all.

3- Miss Romance

This type of woman lives in a fantasy world of Lifetime Channel movies and romance novels. Every night she goes home alone to spend hours flipping through her bride magazines, imagining that, at any moment, Prince Charming will ride up on his white horse, sweep her off her feet, and offer her a problem-free existence for the rest of her life. The Miss Romances of the world have been coddled by parents and family, told they are "princesses," and have absolutely no idea that real life consists of paying bills and cleaning toilets. Miss Romance will expect to be taken care of, will be a dud in bed, and will, almost overnight, turn into a shrieking nag. Run.

4- Miss Elusive

This woman is closely allied to Miss Romance, but with a dark side. She is usually one of the "walking wounded" -- someone who has been hurt in past relationships and so subconsciously avoids or sabotages new relationships in the present. Your association with her will be one of utter frustration, as first she shows great interest in you, but very quickly runs away -- then repeats this cycle over and over again. Miss Elusive is the queen of mixed messages. She will flirt with you and date you, but you'll never get past "friend" status. What you will get is a million excuses for her unavailability, all calculated to deceive herself that she just doesn't have time for a relationship. Save yourself some heartache -- don't get involved with her.

5- Miss Angry

Like Miss Feminists, Miss Angrys really don't like men. They scorn the male gender and can rattle off all the wrongs and misdeeds of every man they've ever encountered. To Miss Angry, there's no such thing as a nice guy -- they're all "jerks," "creeps" and "pigs." Many of them have lots of simmering anger at men, which can explode at any moment like an erupting volcano. Unless you're into lots of drama and screaming, stay away.

6- Miss Insecure

This woman seems great at the start because she's very nice, accommodating and treats men well. But her inner insecurities don't take long to surface. Pretty soon she's calling you 10 times a day, asking to see "where the relationship is going," or because she "just wants to hear your voice." She needs constant reassurance that she's attractive, and worries incessantly about her makeup, hair and the alignment of her clothes. She's clingy, needy and compulsively agonizes that you're going to leave her at any moment for "someone better." This kind of thing can get really creepy really fast.

7- Miss Bitch

Miss Bitches are the sulkers, pouters and ball-busters of the female world. They are very unpleasant people who treat their fellow humans poorly, care only about themselves, and aren't concerned at all if they hurt you or anybody else. Most Miss Bitches qualify as Miss Takes, too. Miss Bitches are usually good-looking and well dressed, and you can easily identify them by the scowls on their faces as they imperiously strut through the world.

8- Miss Me

A close relative of Miss Bitch, Miss Me is entirely focused on herself. Miss Me needs to be the constant center of attention no matter what she does or where she goes. She is a selfish, self-indulgent, self-serving narcissist who was raised as "daddy's little girl," and expects the same from you. Unless you enjoy the company of spoiled brats, stay far, far away.

9- Miss Desperate

Whether it's her baby clock ticking or she's the last of her girlfriends to trap a man, Miss Desperate wants to get married -- now. She doesn't care who the guy is or what he does -- as long as he's got a penis she can drag him to the altar. Watch out for this one!

10- Miss Turncoat

She's a conniving little piece of work who's an expert at conning men. Miss Turncoat will tell you exactly what you want to hear until you're hooked deep into the relationship (or married)… and then the truth comes out. Overnight, your sweet little girl turns into a demanding, greedy, mercenary harpy who will browbeat you into submission if she doesn't get her way.

11- Miss Tease

Usually, you can spot Miss Teases a mile away because she flirts with anything in pants and flaunt her sexuality at every opportunity. Sometimes she sponges off older men; sometimes she's a ball-buster who enjoys getting men sexually excited and then walking away; and sometimes she just basks in her sexual power by attracting men like bees to honey. No matter how she operates, you can't trust her because she craves male attention and if somebody better comes along, she'll dump you in a heartbeat.

12- Miss Controlling

She is a subtly nasty one who will wind up directing every phase of your life. She will tell you what to wear, where to go, who to talk to, what friends you can have, what you can eat -- everything. And if you try to stand up for yourself, she will cut off sex, cry, scream, pout, or use any other deceptive female tactic until you give in and succumb to her demands.you've been warned!

These are some of the worst of them. Obviously, there are some good women out there who share only portions of these negative qualities. But it's always best to be on the lookout for the Misses listed above.

And now that you know better, if you hook up with one of these women, you have only yourself to blame.

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Where do I fall in? kekeke.....

Dating Tip: The 10 Most Dangerous Mistakes

Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women - And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes...

1) Being Too Much Of A "Nice" Guy

Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys? Of course you have. I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.

What's going on here?
It's actually very simple.

Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.
And being nice doesn't make a woman choose you.

I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, but get over it. Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.

2) Trying To "Convince" Her To Like You

What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just not interested?

Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.

Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!

Never, ever, ever.

You cannot convince a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning.

Think about it.

If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being "reasonable" with her?

But we all do it.

When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.

Bad idea. Another one that will never work.

3) Looking For Her Approval Or Permission

In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".

Another HORRIBLE idea.

Women are never attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.

Don't get me wrong here. You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you. But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.

You will never succeed by looking for approval.

4) Trying To Buy Affection With Food And Gifts

How many times have you take a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?

Well guess what? It's only natural when this happens...

When you do these things, you send a clear message: "I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".

Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation.

5) Sharing How You "Feel" Too Early With Her

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.

Attractive women are rare.

They get a LOT of attention from men.

Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another all the time by men. An attractive woman is often approached several times a day by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often hundreds of times per month.

And guess what?

Attractive women have usually dated a lot of men.

That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.

This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.

Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.

There's a much better way...

6) Not "Getting" How Attraction Works For Her

Women are different from men. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction. But does the same apply for women? Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for over ten full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around? Think about it.

Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them feel than they are to looks alone.

If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman. But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.

And ANY guy can learn how...

7) Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks

One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age.

And sure, there are women who are only interested in these things. But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.

There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...

And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.

8) Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women Earlier

I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission. Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.

Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants. Another bad idea...

Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over.

Women aren't attracted to Wussies!

9) Not Knowing What To Do In Each Type Of Situation

A woman always knows what you're thinking. I know, it might be hard to believe. But if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.

And if you don't know HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!

And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...

Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything. If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.

10) Not Getting Help

This is the biggest mistake of all. This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.

I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.

Hey, I've been there myself. Let me tell you a little about me.

About ten years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn't know how to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to. It frustrated the hell out of me.

Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all out. I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice, normal, regular girls as well. It has been a very rewarding experience.

I no longer feel that sick, insecure feeling... like I don't know how to meet women... and I might wind up alone.

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Especially agree with 5 and 9. :p

Excercise and D.O.A Day

Harlo, gone to my first CD Ex on Wed morning. Not a bad experience as we got to play put mass casualties management. The Ex went quite smoothly and we can all pack up and go back 3 hours later after the Ex proper. I was doing the triage with Joey and I was so scared I made a blunder and cause the nos. to not tally. Luckily every casualty was accounted for and we were not reprimanded this time round.

Yesterday was my 3rd day shift and what a day it was! We had 7 calls from each ambulance. For us, we had 2 D.O.A (dead on arrival) case, 2 RTA (road traffic accident), 1 fall and had his cheeck sliced up and 1 chest pain patient. Can't rem what was the other one liao. :p Wah.... if not for our 2nd DOA case, we would not have known so many ppl died yesterday, that the Singapore Casket was fully booked!! Duhzz... you mean Singapore Casket can also be fully book one meh? 1 would wonder....Was it due to the weather? (What kinda logic is tt?? ), well, there is really nothing much we could do.

Decide to have a short trip to Bintan. Haven been there before, wonder will it be fun?? Hopefully so bah. Feeling very listless recently. Due to fatigue? Maybe, it is so tiring doing 3 day shift. You just dun feel like studying on your off day lor. And my lvl 3 is in Oct!! Shit! Really should start on my reading liao, cannot drag anymore.....

Charlie asked me out for tea last nite. Went to Thomson for tea and prata. He told me his trip to Vienna. Hahahaa..... what adventures he had! Glad that he enjoyed himself for this trip. Mum asked me abt my "outing" last nite and commented that "duo mo wo ge fan". Duhzzz.... why can't she keep her comments to herself? *rolleyes*

Tired liao......go sleep le..... nite nite. *yawn*

Expectations

Hihi, been too lazy to update these few days. Just dun have the mood. :( Dun feel like discussing anything. Have decided not to think abt anything and just concentrate on my Paramedic course first. Why make myself miserable? Think I have enough in my hands now. At first, still think I'm savagable with my mobid tots of marriage and having kids, but think it smashed with my conversation with mum this morning. Haizzz..... is it justifiable (天经地义) ? I understand you do have a responsibility to your parents as they are still responsible for bringing you here and to provide for you. What happens if your children fails you? Will you feel sad? Will you feel that your life was wasted on these kids that doesn't turn out to be what you expected? 你会有何感受入果你奉献一生照顾孩子，家庭，丈夫，可到头来换的是孩子的不出息，丈夫的莫不关心，该怎么办?

I know I should take a step at a time and of cos life will be filled with challamges, but I'm still not ready to embark on the next pharse in life. I'm really scared of the future, for my family. Will I be a bad influence to my kids since I have those negative tots abt life? Will my hubby stay faithful to me? Will I love my hubby as much as when we first fell in love? Much as I wanted to acknowlage the feelings, is he The One? Will he be the One to give me the confidence again?

Just like what I put on my MSN. Dun think abt him anymore, gotta concentrate on my course for now..... chaozzz

男人是个半满的垃圾桶

Read 1 of Li Min's book while waiting for Yenli just now. Have always liked hers and Zhang Xiao Xian's books. Will be posting quite a few of their works to share....

男人是个半满的垃圾桶

每个男人也有不同的容量，我是指他们承受生活压力的能力。女人经常投诉男人回家之后不和她卿谈，容量没有兴趣听她的生活报告，也没有兴趣安慰她，所以就是不爱她；但我却认为情况不一定是这样。

我们经常有一个假设，就是男人应该比女人强，所以男人就要负责变成一个垃圾桶，每天回家也应该装载女人精神上的垃圾和收听女人的唠叨。不过，别忘记一件事，其实这个垃圾桶回家之前已经用了一半或以上的容量去载他自己的问题，是工作上的和人际上 的。虽然这个垃圾桶回来时一声不向，不叹不怨，但实际上他已经疲倦不堪了。他不是不爱你，而是他的容量已经用得七七八八，所以如非大件事，何必还要劳烦他给予意见。

爱情是需要二人互助去解决问题，但不需要每一件鸡毛蒜皮的事上。如果你要和他说的不是十个小问题，而是三个笑话，四个问题和三个答案，他一定可以装载。

从前我也以为男人比女人强，所以就应该为女人排忧解烦，要做女人的垃圾桶。但我反思后，我会问自己：“为什么女人只会有问题，我们不可以有答案吗 ?”

要体谅男人其实是个半满的垃圾桶，他们也有个极限!如果你不满他容量低，你可能要找个更大的垃圾桶了，否则减少自己的垃圾也未尝不是个好办法。

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Agree.....men are humans too :)

Met up with old frend

Wah.....today went for the interview, will have to attend some lessons. Well, hopefully it will bring what it promised bah. :)

Met up with Yenli finally. Hahha..she looked so happy being a pregnant woman. Shared some of her joys with me on how the fetus progressed and how disappointed Alvin was when he realised they are having a boy. Haha.... strange that Alvin would want a ger, tot all guys would prefer to have boys so that they have a mate to do the "boys things" .... anyway, guess its because his family has a lot of males and very few females. He commented to Yenli that there are so many pretty dresses that little gers can wear.... haaa.. So I commented that his family's "Y" chromsone must be damn powerful....HAhahaha... cos most NOs in MGBs will have gers... :p

Told them some stories abt my job. Yenli also complaint to me what she is doing now. Haaa... who would have guess she is sitting on my last appointment before I left SAF? So we just bitched abt that appt and the other officers.... haha. She is much firmer than me in handling the grd ppl. Good for her, what really caught me was I'm not that fierce as I tot I am. In fact, I am mild. Too mild for the job. Is that me? Maybe its all those experience and programming that leads me to my mild character. *shakehead* Haizzz, surprised that she is thinking of leaving the service also. Tot she would stayed all the way. As we were discussing, I just realised how much shit I was doing when I'm in there.... hahaha... really full of shit lor. It is so sad... its the same everywhere. You will realised you are just going round and round in piles of shit everywhere you go. No matter where you are, no matter what you do. I like her best among the rest of my batch gers. She knows me...:)

It seems so long ago that we chiong sua, chiong hai together. And now she is going to be a mother, and Kwok Ping is already a mother... hmm.... well...really glad that we got to meet up before her delivery. Passed her some advice from my O&P course. Hope it will be of help to her.

Tired and sick

Ar..... got a stiff neck today due to my bad sleeping posture yesterday :( Felt a bit giddy and not able to focus pushed me to report sick at NUH today. Managed to get a day MC but still have to work tomorrow. Okay lar, since staying at home also nothing to do. Went to see my earache also. They have set for me an appointment with the ENT department. Shall see what is the outcome then.

OIC called me just now and check on my status, he also wanted to update who will be my mentor after Joey left. I choose him lor. Since he is okay and maybe I need somebody demanding to monitor me bah. Well, he warned me that he will be very demanding on me wor.... and I told him I will take up the challange. Haizz, really dun feel good these few days. S***!

Was reading a book just now, " A Must for Morning Contemplation" by this master OSHO. Read a few pages... seems chim leh. It toking abt gaining enlightenment by looking at thing in its simplest form.... Zen. He mentioned the purpose of living, is living itself. You have to look into your inner self in order to know the meaning of life... It's like return to innocence. Actually, there is really a lot of learning in your whole life time. You are learning all the way till you die. Need to go back to my sessions of TCC and focus on my objectives. I was reading FEMALE and there is an article abt hypnosis theaphy whereby you will go into trance and try to find the root of the problem. I've always been interested in all these. Come to think of it the TCC sessions were sort of like that when they bring you back into your memories. However there is a warning, if you are thinking of going for the hypnosis threaphy, you have to be prepared to face your darkest secrets and desire which you might not know. Am I ready for that? Maybe....

Please give me the Courage to Create the life I want....

Make Merry

Hahhaa.....ppl say my post very sad wor. Okie, then let me post something happy. Went drinking with 2 frends yesterday. We went to SAFRA Town club at Capenter St. Embience so so only but the wine is ok. Cos I got discount mah :p . Hm... got a bit high but it was fun and they were such good company. Love yeah guys ;) We shall go try the Mount Faber one. Heee.... It has been quite sometime since I last drank le. Duh... my drinking capacity went down *thumbs down* :(. Gonna drink more to train up..(just an excuse to drink :p). Haaaa.

Treat mum to a spa massage. Then got myself 1 also. It's soooo relaxing. Should let mum enjoy more of this. Lazing and nuahing the whole day today. IPPT coming... gonna do push up everynite le. Gold Award, look out, here I come!

----------THIS IS AN ADD-ON--------------

Hahaa.... just came back from dinner with my "chu lian qing ren". Time really flies man ~ catch up a bit with each other's life. But we are in touch all these while lar. Had some discussion, talk abt r/s. We have all grown up le...heee... those were the days man. Both of us agreed that maybe I haven met the one who will make me think of settling down. Actually I m looking at 1 lar. Someone had my heart pumped faster for him. But well, I haven settle my problem yet and dun know how he feels abt me...... better keep things as it is :p

Have to always remind myself of the promise I made, "Dun make ppl fall for you when you are not ready to catch them" Better sort out my tots first before doing anything. "bu yao hai ren hai ji" ar !

Go sleep le......nitezzz

Life is a Challenge

Hmm......these few days hasn't been good for me. Too many issues without solutions cropped up. Feel so sad. As I was walking back this morning, I was thinking to myself, life itself is a learning experience, I should raise to the challenge and just see what life has got for me. Maybe I shouldn't worry so much abt what is going to happen next, but just live life as it is. Solve the problems as it comes but must be able to let go should the prob gets too big.......

Hmm....it is easier said than done. "To conquer fear is to look into fear itself " How much courage it takes to really look at fear in the eyes? Damn it! Where did all my courage gone to? I am talking abt facing challenges in terms of human relationship. With my dad, with my reserves abt marriage and kids, with my reserves abt love relationship.....

ARGGGG.......... I want to be strong and take up the issues. Can I? Will I be able to disregard my insecurities and face up to my inner desire? I dun know.......

Am I being too harsh on myself? Am I expecting a lot from myself? Being an officer, I believed you must overcome any obstacles, ppl relied on you, you have to be strong for others. You can be relied on. I can't expect ppl to be there for me and just listen to my whimpering rite? They have their own problems, they have their own needs, they have their own social circle. In the end, you still have to face the problem yourself. Nobody can help you except yourself......

無論相逢恨晚亦恨早...

相逢﹐不是恨晚﹐便是恨早...
太早遇上你﹐我還不懂得愛你。
太早遇上你﹐我還不懂得珍惜你。
太早遇上你﹐我們的世界還有一大段距離﹐需要時間來拉近。
太早遇上你﹐我還有很多夢想要實現﹐你不會理解﹐也不可能接受。

後來﹐我才覺得遺憾﹐你出現得太早了﹐如果能夠晚一點﹐我們的生命都會不同﹐為什麼我不晚一點才遇上你﹖

太晚遇上你﹐你身邊已經另外有一個人。你說﹕『為什麼我沒有早一點遇上你﹖』
我不懂得怎樣回答你...

太晚遇上你﹐我身邊已經有另外一個人。我說﹕『如果沒有他﹐我會愛上你﹐但你為什麼不早一點出現﹖ 如果二年前就遇上你﹐一切都會不同。』你難過地說﹕『二年前﹐我身邊有另一個人。』

原來﹐我們從沒有在適當的時候相逢...
太晚遇上你﹐我現在才知到什麼是愛情。我遺憾沒有把初戀留給你。
太晚遇上你﹐我已經不再像從前那樣﹐會義無反顧地愛一個人。

如果我們洽洽相逢在適當時候﹐那是多麼美的事...

深夜，你的手機為誰開?

女孩每天臨睡會先關掉手機，然後把它放在寫字台自己的相框架前，這個習慣從買了手機的時候就這樣保持著。

女孩有個很要好的男朋友，兩個人不見面的時候，就打打電話或發發簡訊。有一天夜裡，男孩很想念女孩子，打了過去卻關機，因為女孩子已經睡著了。第二天，男孩對女孩子說：“以後晚上不要關機，好嗎？我想你的時候找不到你，心會不安。”

從那以後，女孩開始另一種習慣整夜都不關機。因為害怕他打來自己會因睡著而聽不到，女孩夜夜都很警醒，人便日日消瘦。然而，慢慢地，兩個人之間還是有了裂痕。女孩很想挽回即臨分手的局面，便在一個深夜裡給男孩打電話，回答她的是很好聽的女聲：sorry，你所撥打的電話已關機。於是女孩知道，她的愛情已經關機。

很久以后，女孩有了另一場愛情。即使兩個人在一起的感覺也很好，但女孩怎麼也不肯嫁。女孩的心裡還是會想起那個男孩的話和那個關機的夜。女孩還是保持著整夜不關機的習慣，只是不再期待它會響起。

一天夜裡，女孩身染急症，慌亂之中把本想撥給父母的電話，卻打通了這個男孩的電話，這個男孩沒關機。女孩平安地恢復了健康。

後來女孩問男孩：“為什麼深夜還不關機？”男孩說：“我怕你夜裡有事情找不到我，會心慌。”女孩最終嫁給了男孩。

是啊，你的手機，深夜裡為誰開？你會不會怕她找不到而心慌，愛一個人，有一份等待，就會在深夜裡習慣性的開機。有一個可以開機等候你的人，那是一種深深的幸福。

Marry your goal mate

Your significant other has more influence on your career than you think. Career-coaching practitioners recommend that issues regarding work be discussed early and regularly with partners and family members because they are the people who can help you succeed or make you fail.

Compare the supportive wife who packs her husband' s suitcase for him whenever he needs to travel, to the wife who complains bitterly about being left alone at home. Which husband will have a better trip?

Now consider the husband who picks his wife up when she has to work late, to the Homer Simpson-type who waits for his wife to come home and cook his dinner and then complains that his beer is warm. Which wife do you think will feel happy and confident in her career?

We all need our daily dose of hero worship, and who better to enlist as our cheerleaders than the people we go home to at the end of the day?

Most people don't think about their career when choosing a life partner, believing that everything will work out eventually. However, relationships do run aground when courting gives way to the more predictable rhythm of daily life.

The commitment to the relationship hasn't changed. But at this point, the couple needs to change gears to head towards new achievements. The trick to changing gears successfully as a couple or family is to have everyone in the same car first.

As adults, we should respect one another's jobs, anticipate career changes and hiccups, and, above all, honour the individual's right to manage life as they need to. Initiate career chats with your partner. Let your children take part if a major career change is imminent. Inform family members so that they can stand by to help or advise as necessary. Of course, it would be prudent for you and your partner to discuss your respective careers and aspirations together before you make any kind of commitment. Partners who have shared goals are more likely to achieve them.

They stand a good chance of surviving work stress if they both understand what they are working towards. They can make decisions confidently, knowing they have their partner's support. They are also likely to attain a deeper sense of satisfaction with their work and life.

You are unlikely to meet a perfect someone who wants all the same things you want. We are different people and we will each have our own dreams.

However, if you take the time to really learn who your partner is, what his or her dreams are, you will find that you have many shared goals, for example, a home, children, a trip to a foreign country, and so on.

These are great dreams you can both peg your careers on. Knowing you are working towards the same goals can be an exhilarating element in a relationship. There is more to share, be it fear, failure or success.

Compatibility tests are supposed to match you to the person whose profile is most similar to yours, but I have found that these tests are more useful for rooting out the mismatches!

Looking at potential matches, you begin to understand how wildly two people can differ even when all other criteria point to a supposed match. For relationships and careers to succeed, it is important that both parties are supportive of one another. Your occupation reflects who you are, so to have a partner who does not support your career choices can be emotionally draining and destructive.

Often, when you meet people in their 40s who are successful, you will find that they have extremely supportive partners, and that as a couple, they are keen for each other to excel. They find their partner's achievements a significant source of pride and will not hesitate to say so.

Younger people tend to be more focused on their own individual success and less concerned about how their partner is faring. While this is not unusual, couples and families could do so much better when they set out to succeed together.

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Something to think abt........

Sad Day

Din do well for my calls today. :( Felt so sad. Why do I get distracted so easily? Is it so difficult to focus? Is it because I can never really take over the call totally? Haizzz.... I dun know what's wrong with me. Damn!!

I wore the ring today. I din wear it before because I was thinking we might be together again. But..... deep down I know, it will never be... at least in the near future. Wearing the ring will also remind me of the promise I made to myself..... "Dun make ppl fall for you if you are not ready to catch them". Hopefully ppl will do the same to me. Dun like sending/recieving wrong signals......

I have been thinking recently, will I be able to open up myself again? I dun know. Felt very bad if I gave up this r/s to start another one. Anyway dun think abt it first lar...... I will make a clean cut before I start anything. I've never like to be murky abt r/s and never will.