My first trap case

Haaa... finally got a trapped case just before going to lvl 3. :p Though the patient was not exactly trapped lar, but he was stucked underneth the bus when his bike collide with the bus. Luckily patient still alive, just suffered some broken bones and abrasions. If not I sweat ar!!! So I went under the bus also and assessed the patient, calmed him all the way while the firemen moved him out from under the bus. A very good experience, but I din do very well for this call... :( I wasn't focused enough... anyway, do hope that I can attend a few more of these cases so as to better prepare myself...

Haizzz, I wish I could burn the whole protocol book and drink it down!!! ARGGG.... anybody got a way for the info to be diffuse into my brain (cos its from a region of higher concentration to lower concentration) :p duhzzzz......

Got a chest pain patient, shit, I din managed to diagnose it initally *wallbash* Gotta study and study and study HARD!!

精神粮食day

Went to watch March of the Penguins with Charlie yesterday. A very nice french documentry on the procreation of the Emperor Penguins in the Antarctic. It sure take them lots of pain and effort just to ensure the survivability of their species.





They have to brave through hunger, snow storm just to have that little glimpse of hope that their off-springs will developed alright. The witty narrations of the 2 penguins is entertaining... haaa. And you can't help but smile at the movement of the birds and the new chicks are soooo.... cute that you wish you could curdle 1 of them.... :)





A recommended show, even if you dun like documentry, this particular 1 is shot in such a way that you are looking at a story and not just a normal narration like your discovery channel...

Yesterday was a very happy day for me. Why? Cos I walked into 商务印书馆 and bought 2 张小娴 's 散文精选. Haaa... long time never feed my mind le. Yesterday was a day for replanishing of my 精神粮食! Somemore the book shop was playing chinese classical.....wahhh.... shiok siah. Guess I will also have to go to the library to pick up some classical CDs le. :p

Have been listening to Pink Martini's album these few days. Hmm.... really really nice..... :)

女人和她妈妈

女人和自己的妈妈最投契的时候应该是在她嫁人之后。在反叛的青春期，女孩子觉得妈妈说什么都是错的。

妈妈说：“男人都是花心的。”
女儿就反驳：“你不能把你的经验套在我身上，我喜欢的男人是与众不同的。”

妈妈说：“选男人要选一个有经济基础的，不要嫁穷小子。”
女儿不满地说：“妈妈你太势利，我可以跟他一起捱。”

妈妈说：“这个男人靠不住。”
女儿说：“我比你了解他，你怎么狗眼看人低？”

妈妈说：“不要太早嫁人，一嫁了人，你就失去了自由。”
女儿说：“妈妈你不也是很年轻就嫁给爸爸吗？”

女儿告诉妈妈：“我要嫁给这个男人。”
妈妈劝她：“你不需要考虑一下吗？”
女儿说：“我现在就要嫁给他。”

女人做了别人的太太之后，终于明白妈妈从前所说的，原来都是真的。她发现丈夫和她爸爸竟然出奇地相像，他们都拥有同一堆缺点和劣根性。男人，原来都是同一个样子的。婚前婚后，完全是两个人。

于是，母女见面，各自数落自己的丈夫，数得咬牙切齿。母女两人，经过了那么多日子，终于心灵相通，十分投契。而旁观的爸爸和女婿，也终于发现，女人都是同一个样子，她们最终都会变成她自己妈妈或你妈妈。
----------------------------------
Hahahaha

Updates

Okay guys, hmm... let's do some updating.

Adolescent
Was doing some reading of other bloggers entries. Hmm... noticed 1 trend, how come we always like to give pet names and identities like Hubby, Wify, Daughters, Sons, Grandma, Grandpa etc etc to our frends leh?? That's what my sis did when she was in her teens too... Did I do that?? Hmm.... dun think so bah. Anyone can tell me the reason why??

Training
Lvl 3 is coming soon!!! Guess all of us are hugging the Buddha's leg....hahahhaa. Nothing special on my recent calls. Was thinking I long time never go RTA case le and guess what? I had 3 yesterday...haaa. But nothing serious. Samantha covered us and the case she got was also RTA, trapped case (I've never been to a trapped case before :( ) and it was a DOA case. She was describing to me how his whole leg was crashed.... I wanna go for it!! Hump....

Yesterday was counselling day, got a assualt case whereby the woman was hit on the nose by the boyfrend. Actually can refuse conveyance de, but dun know why it just never occurred to me to bring out the Refuse Conveyance Form, maybe it was due to the training bah, or something in that woman prevent me from doing that. So I just sent her and tried talking to her (I tried okay, but most of the time I dun know what to say so end up asking abt her injuries :p) en-route to hospital and she was crying the whole time. Wow... other than taking care of their injuries and illness, we must play Aunt Agony too....*rolleyes*. Then another was a psy case whereby he called the ambulance himself complaining of headache and difficulty in breathing. His mother was so surprised to see us at her doorstep. Check on the patient and tried digging some info from him. Found out that he was a psy patient and he was fustrated that nobody cares abt him. Played Aunt Agony to him and his family and whipped out the Refused Conveyance Form..... haizzz... there really is a increase in psy cases in Singapore liao. Remember when I was doing manpower posting, 1 batch of new recruits dun know how many got cases one. And mind you, they are usually the 'A' Levels students lor...

After toking so much, I am still looking forward to passing my course and start running the ambulance. It's so exciting and scary at the same time.... :p

Belated Birdday Present
Haa... got a surprised yesterday when Donanvan and Shuan passed me a bag. It was my belated bday present! What a pleasant surprise.... it was a pair of OP slippers, just nice when I go for my sun tanning seesion next. It's hot pink in color and goes with my bikini... :p

Okie, guess this is quite a long entry..... pen off now. Chaozz..

The 30 day game

Message: Daniel and Jasmine are sitting alone in the park one night....

Daniel: I guess we are the left overs in this world
Jasmine: I think so... All of my friends have boyfriends and we are only the 2 persons left in this world without any special person in our lives
Daniel: Yup I don't know what to do
Jasmine: I know! We'll play a game
Daniel: What game?
Jasmine: i'll be your girl friend for 30 days and you will be my boy friend
Daniel: That's a great plan in fact i don't anything to do for the following weeks...

DAY 1:
They watch their first movie and they both touched in a romantic film

DAY 4:
They went to the beach and have a picnic...
Daniel and Jasmine have their quality time together

DAY 12:
Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they rideon a Horror House....
Jasmine was scaredand she touched Daniel's hand but she touchedsomeone else's hand and they both laughed...

DAY 15:
They saw a fortune teller down the road and they asked for their future advice and the fortune teller said: "My darling, Please don't wastethe time of your life... SPend the rest of your timetogether happily" Then tears flow out from the teller's eyes

DAY 20:
Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and they saw a meteor...
Jasmine mumbled something

DAY 28:
They sat on the bus and because of a bumbyroad Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident

DAY 29:

11:37pm

Jasmine and Daniel sat in the park where theyfirst decided to play this game...
Daniel: I'm tired Jasmine...Do you want any drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road
Jasmine: Apple Juice that's all
Daniel: Wait for me....

20mins later... a stranger approached Jasmine

Stranger: Are you a friend of Daniel?
Jasmine: Why yes? What happened?
Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over Daniel and he is critical in the hospital

11:57pm

The doctor went out of the emergency room and he handed out an apple
juice and a letter

Doctor: We found this in daniel's pocket
Jasmine reads the letter and it says:

Jasmine, This past few days, i realized you are a really cute girl
and i am really falling for you..
Your cherish smile your everything when weplayed this game.....
Before this game would end...I would like you to be my girl friend for
the rest of my life....
I love you Jasmine....

Jasmine crumples the paper and shouted:"Daniel ! i don't want you to die... I love you...
Remember that night when we saw a meteor, I mumbled something...
I mumbled that I wish we would be together forever and never end this game.
Please don't leave me Daniel.... I love you!
You cannot do this to me!"

Then the clock strikes 12Daniel's heart stop pumping

THEN IT WAS THE 30TH DAY........
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Too drama? But there is always this small part of us yielding for that bit of romance... :)

Salty Coffee

He met her on a party, she was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her,while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to politeness, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me back home. Suddenly he asked the waiter: would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee.

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could felt the taste of the sea, salty and bite, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I will think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who were still living there. Saying that, tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart"A man who can tell out his homesick, he must be a man loves homhometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, he, cares about home, has responsibility of home," she thought.

Then she also started to talk, talked about her faraway also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continue to date. She found actually he was a man who meets all her demands: he was tolerance, kind hearted, warm, careful...he was such a good guy but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee. Then the story was just like every beautiful love story: the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...And, every time she made coffee for hicoffee!m, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you, the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It's hard for me to change so I just go ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything..Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste..but I have the salty coffee for my whole life since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life.

If I can live for the second time, I still want to know you and have you as my whole life wife, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again."

Her tears made the letter totally wet.

Someday, someone asked her: What's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied


Got this from an entry of a fellow blogger http://hapsion69.ebloggy.com/

Service Culture & Education in Singapore

Our PM just delivered his National Day Rally Speech on 21 Aug 05. For myself, it is most heartening to know that our leaders are looking into the service sector and the education of our people. It is time for us to focus and remake Singapore.

Service Culture

Being in the service sector myself before, I know exactly how it was to be at the other end. It is so tiring to be rushing here and there and to stand ard (I was a waitress in a restuarant) and the least that you hope is a customer throwing abuses at you!

Actually the root problem for good customer service is the attitude. Like what PM has said, not only the employees must change, the employers and customers must also be prepared to have new perception of the service industry. The whole concept of service industry is of lower level should be corrected. Parents should stop discouraging their young abt how low level the service industry can be. And most importantly, to be courteous to anyone including those serving you. Though good customer service is important, the customers themselves will have to reflect on themselves too. Do they also view those serving them as 2nd class and throw their weight ard? It won't be so hard to show your appreciation by saying "thank you", "please" to those serving you rite? Good customer gets good service. Do what you expect of ppl by starting it yourself.


Education

I am also very glad that the leaders are looking into this problem after so long with so many children being the victims of this education system. Myself included. All along, those late developers are always looked down upon, many times not by themselves, but the people ard them. Children are susceptible to how people view them it is uptmost important to get acceptance from those ard them. I was lucky to be with the mass during my schooling time being in normal stream (note there was only normal, extended and 1 I couldn't remember in my time) in Pri school, Express stream in Sec school and I choose to go Poly after my 'O' levels. Luckily by the time I went poly, the peception that it is only for those who couldn't get into Junior Colleges has changed. Poly graduates are are much valued in the workforce. But my sister was not so lucky.

She is a late developer and in terms of academic, not as good as me or my bro, but.. she is very good with her hands. Being sent to Normal Technical stream after her PSLE further dampen her spirit in her studies. The teachers in her school were not helpful either, infact they pushed her further away from the main stream. Maybe the attitude of my sister played a part, but the fact that the teachers constantly speaking down to them, comparing them with the Express and Normal Academic stream is not helping in their self-esteem. As what my sis compliant to me before, the teachers just leave it to them to study, they are not even willing to put extra effort to explain the lessons to them at a slower pace and show more concern for them. Although there are teacher out there who will go all out for this group of children, just 1 insensitive soul is enough to send them into despair and cause them to discount their worth. This is in fact like the Yellow Ribbon movement for the ex-convicts. If people want to improve, shouldn't we encourage them, give them a chance rather than sending them down into the spiral of vicious cycle?

Not everyone has a strong might and determination to overcome adversities especially so without the support and encouragment from those ard them. By at least creating an environment and hope for them to find their worth, not necessary in terms of just studying is already a very good step towards increasing their self-esteem.

Bad Call

Duh.... kana a proceed call @ 2050hrs just outside Fire Station. What the f***? That call was a bad one...*sob sob*. Din managed to diagnose the patient's chief compliant and missed my IV twice!!! ARGGG!!! How can I? Must be long time never practise liao..... :( Met Tammy at NUH, she also mentioned that she missed her IV also! Then dun know what the f*** happen, so many cancellations on my case record form..... Though I am pretty satisfied with my calls 2day, I am pretty upset with my last call.... and guess what? My mentor actually try to make me feel better by encouraging me!! And he mentioned that I am ready for Lvl 3 liao. Hopefully what he said is true bah. :)

I look terrible these 2 days with all my dark eyerings and eyebags (I no need rings and bags to hold water for my eyes lor..*rolleyes*) I look like shit and guess must have scared the hell outta my patient 2day....hahaha....

Gotta go sleep liao lar, if not I do not dare to look into the mirror tomorrow liao....nite.

Happy reunion

Hihi, quite a happy day for me today...:) Let's see, went for a revision on 1 of the topics for our medical at Alex station before heading to Sentosa for a relaxing time by the beach. Played beach volley where most of the time I am just a vase standing there and only the guy in my team is running ard for the ball... sorry encik.. :p

Din get much of a tan cos of the weather today, rain, stopped, rain, stopped. Of cos as usual I was the target of suaning in the group since there isn't anyone ard for the guys to suan *rolleyes*. After the beach session. we went to AMk for a crab dinner.. yum yum... nice...:p

Today the red cross guys celebrate Roy's bday. Fun. I have to go cos I missed his and Shirley's wedding last Dec. Tsk tak.... *shake head*. Saw a lot of old frends whom I have not seen for a long long time.... have a very good laugh over some crap that Vincent said abt the naming of Roy's golden retrival...hahahaha.... it was a very long time since I had such good laugh and at ease with the environment. I missed those days where we crap ard and laugh like nobody's business....hahahhaa.... those were the days man.. :)

We even took a photo of all my batch born in 1977. Hahhahaa.... good brother and sisters... I shall post the pics once I got hold of them. Very glad that I went for Roy's bd celebration. A very good one........ :)

The Best Break-up Letter Ever!

This is funny !!!!

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" Letterfrom his girlfriend back home.

It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
justtoo great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you've
beengone, and it's not fair to either of us.

I'm sorry.

Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshotsthey could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts,cousins etc.

In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other picturesof the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.

There were 57 photosin that envelope .... along with this note:

Dear Becky,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the fuck you are. Please
takeyour picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

Take Care, Ricky

A Clear Piece Of Paper

Love is like 2 people filling up a piece of paper... A relationship starts off as a clear piece of paper. A guy and a gal agrees to write on that piece of paper.When it starts, both r excited as it's their first time working together.

They fill up the paper with the best of things they can think of. Sometimes the guy writes more, sometimes the gal writes more. Some people writes without thinking much, some writes after some thought.

As the writing carries on, it gets more and more tiring. The couple have to be motivated to keep on writing. This is the commitment and responsibility of a relationship. As long as the urge to write continues, the writing will never end. It will carry on paper after paper until one pen's ink run out. This is eternal love till death do us apart...

Some couples prefer to write together, some write their own and combine the efforts. Neither side should be the only one writing, else ink may get blocked for the party who writes non-stop. Too tired...

The character of a person is like the handwriting on the paper...Everyone has his/her handwriting. It is very difficult to change one's handwriting. Not impossible but it takes a lot of time and hard work.

The outcome may not be desirable.It is also difficult to imitate the handwritings of another person. The most one can do is to be tidier or more untidy in their handwritings.

Sometimes, to make the writing on the paper look more presentable, it could be necessary for either side to slightly alter the style of his/her handwritings...

A mistake in love is like a smudge on the paper... Whether purposely or accidentally a smudge is a smudge. No matter how well the writing has gone.

So far or how lovely is the content, a smudge will leave a mark no matter how well u cover it (eraser, liquid paper, etc.). Whether to keep on writing will depend on the perception of the couple. Whether they mind the content more or the outlook of the piece of work more.

Worst case is when the paper is torn. It'll leave a very ugly mark. Well, the decision lies with the couple...

To break-off is to stop writing... Many reasons can lead to this ending.

One party could be the one writing non-stop and really too tired to carry on anymore. One party or both could be unsatisfied with the content or really dislike what each other is writing(it takes time to know the writing style of someone, it could be halfway through the paper before it is known).

Or a smudge exists and either one or both mind (depend on their level of perfectionism). Or it could be what they r writing r contradicting each other. It can also be the case where one party finds another partner to write with...

Other analogies... Pen users r serious lovers. Those who use pencils like to test things out first. Some even write drafts with other people (many-timers). After a breakup, a photocopy of the writings so far is made and this is given to a party while the other keeps the original (for memories).

Or it could be either or neither will keep the writings. It could also be the original work lies there waiting for the original writers to be back. A well-done masterpiece could be bound into a book and kept forever. Likewise in some cases, it may be pieces of paper lying around.

Different people writes different things and have different outcomes. In the case of people going through many relationships, it's just like changing partners to work with. Some may write things according to past experiences or have new ideas.

While writing, the couple may exchange their pens. In a new relationship, one party might mind that his/her partner's pen has been used by other people before.

Personally I believe this also applies to friendship right? It also requires both parties to play their part to keep the friendship forever lasting.

You only live once. What do you really want to do and achieve in life?

Let's think, learn & share. It is a meaningful journey.

Happy 28th Birthday to me

Wow.... okie, so I've been on earth for 28 years liao. Let me count what are the things I have done and have not done.

1. Finished my studies
2. Has good track records of leadership when in school
3. Been thru OCS and in SAF for 5 years. Still feeling patriotic to fight for the country
4. Been in the job that most gers will not go thru. Chiong sua, chiong hai, handle weapons, throw grenades, rough out together with the guys
5. Be my own boss
6. In the sales line
7. Saving other peoples lives
8. Been thru 4 long-term relationships

1. Have not gotten my degree
2. Have not found the love of my life
3. Have not a car
4. Have not a house
5. Have not found peace with myself (though I am learning and trying very hard)
6. Have not been a good daughter

Things that I should do in the near future
1. Get my degree
2. Save for retirement and house
3. Learning to be free and live the true meaning of life
4. Spend more time with mum

Hope the years to come will be bright bah....

The Oxford Dictionary

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definitions of the following words:-

Divorce : Future tense of marriage
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway - "See I am not injured yet."
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich
Father : A banker provided by nature
Criminal : A guy no difference than the rest, except that he got caught
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills

The Mysterious thing called LOVE

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honoured that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.

There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying.

You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you.

But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.

Love always has been and always will be a mystery.

Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.

"If you want to be happy, be." -- -eViL hiAmJiO®- aka DaRReN"
"ashita nante mou iranai kara"
translated as "We've got no use for tomorrow anymore"

Tuesdays with Morries

Finally finished the last few pages of the book. Well, I was pretty lazy lar, to tell the truth, lazy to read, lazy to write. What the heck? That's the prob with self-improvement or inspiring books. Humans are forgetful animals, you need to re-read to refresh your memories. Okie, this time round, only 2 topics

"WE TALK ABOUT REGRETS"

Hmmm.... what if today is your last day on earth? What regrets would you have? What would you have done but have not done? Will you be statisfied with what you have achieved so far? It is always so easy to say "SIEZE the day" , "Live like its the last day of your life" . But really..... how many of us can do it? I have been trying to do that. At least I've said whatever I wanted to say to those I want to say it to.. so far. (What a mouthful :p) What else have I not done that I want it to be done? Hmm.... dun think so I have. Oh, okie, at least that shows I'm living in the present! :)

Have I been very demostrative of my emotions? I dun care, this is me and this is how I want to present to the world. Did a very funni thing yesterday. I sent out an sms to a few of my frends "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! I LOVE YOU *MUACKS* " 1 frend responded " you are stressed ar? " Haaa.... ermm... nope, I was just feeling very happy and great and I wanna share the happiness and warm feelings around.. :p

Charlie told me he will be going over to Ache for 6 mths on official biz and its a high risk trip. Well, din really think much of it until he describe to me the nature of his role there. Then it striked me that there really is some sort of risk involved. So I spent the whole afternoon with him yesterday. He will be flying off on the 14th, my birthday. Haa.. such concidence, Junqing was enlisted on my birthday that year too... hmm.. Have I told him all I wanted to say? Did I missed out anything?

As for the latest adventure..... we'll see bah


"WE TALK ABOUT EMOTIONS"

Morrie was discussing handling emotions with Mitch Albom on 1 of the Tuesday. We all have emotions, fear, anger, happy, sad, how do we handle them? In Morrie wise words, it is natural to not know how to handle emotions. When we are not in control, we tend to be blinded by our emotions and that might drove us into doing irrational acts. Fear, greed, sad, anger are the few emotions that will make us lose our feet. How do we handle that then? By allowing ourselves to acknowledge and feel the emotion totally. Only when you immersed yourself totally into the feeling, will you be able to detach yourself from it. Acknowledge you are feeling that particular emotion and let it seep through, once you exprienced it, tell yourself "okay, I've been thru it, now its time for me to let go". Easier said than done. However, I've been to a coaching class previously, it teaches us to acknowledge our feelings and thots and to find out where they come from. Usually its formed when you are little. The experiences you encountered actually shaped you in doing whatever you are doing now or how you handle a situation. I wanted to let the feelings seep thru me especially when I'm feeling fearful ,lost or guilt. But it does take time and practise to detach yourself from those feelings....... and I am still learning.

Okie, let me see what other books I'm gonna re-read again...

Why We Love Who We Love

Got this from an unknown authour...

Why We Love Who We Love

Have you ever known a married couple that just didn't seem as though they should fit together--yet they are both happy in the marriage, and you can't figure out why?

I know of one couple: He is a burly ex-athlete who, in addition to being a successful salesman, coached Little League, was active in his Rotary Club and played golf every Saturday with friends. Meanwhile, his wife is petite, quiet and a complete homebody. She doesn't even like to go out to dinner.

What mysterious force drives us into the arms of one person, while pushing us away from another who might appear equally desirable to any unbiased observer?

Of the many factors influencing our idea of the perfect mate, one of the most telling, according to John Money, professor emeritus of medical psychology and pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University, is what he calls our 'lovemap'--a group of messages encoded in our brains that describes our likes and dislikes. It shows our preferences in hair and eye color, in voice, smell, body build. It also records the kind of personality that appeals to us, whether it's the warm and friendly type or the strong, silent type.

In short, we fall for and pursue those people who most clearly fit our lovemap. And this lovemap is largely determined in childhood. By age eight, the pattern for our ideal mate has already begun to float around in our brains.

When I lecture, I often ask couples in the audience what drew them to their dates or mates. Answers range from 'She's strong and independent' and 'I go for redheads' to 'I love his sense of humor' and 'That crooked smile, that's what did it.'

I believe what they say. But I also know that if I were to ask those same men and women to describe their mothers, there would be many similarities between their ideal mates and their moms. Yes, our mothers--the first real love of our lives--write a significant portion of our lovemap.

When we're little, our mother is the center of our attention, and we are the center of hers. So our mother's characteristics leave an indelible impression, and we are forever after attracted to people with her facial features, body type, personality, even sense of humor. If our mother was warm and giving, as adults we tend to be attracted to people who are warm and giving. If our mother was strong and even-tempered, we are going to be attracted to a fair-minded strength in our mates. The mother has an additional influence on her sons: she not only gives them clues to what they will find attractive in a mate, but also affects how they feel about women in general. So if she is warm and nice, her sons are going to think that's the way women are. They will likely grow up warm and responsive lovers and also be cooperative around the house.

Conversely, a mother who has a depressive personality, and is sometimes friendly but then suddenly turns cold and rejecting, may raise a man who becomes a 'dance-away lover.' Because he's been so scared about love from his mother, he is afraid of commitment and may pull away from a girlfriend for this reason.

While the mother determines in large part what qualities attract us in a mate, it's the father--the first male in our lives--who influences how we relate to the opposite sex. Fathers have an enormous effect on their children's personalities and chances of marital happiness.

Just as mothers influence their son's general feelings toward women, fathers influence their daughter's general feelings about men. If a father lavishes praise on his daughter and demonstrates that she is a worthwhile person, she'll feel very good about herself in relation to men. But if the father is cold, critical or absent, the daughter will tend to feel she's not very lovable or attractive.

What about opposites? Are they really attracted to each other? Yes and no. In many ways we want a mirror image of ourselves. Physically attractive people, for example, are usually drawn to a partner who's equally attractive.

In addition, most of us grow up with people of similar social circumstances. We hang around with people in the same town; our friends have about the same educational backgrounds and career goals. We tend to be most comfortable with these people, and therefore we tend to link up with others whose families are often much like our own.

Robert Winch, a longtime sociology professor at Northwestern University, stated in his research that our choice of a marriage partner involves a number of social similarities. But he also maintained that we look for someone with complementary needs. A talker is attracted to someone who likes to listen, or an aggressive personality may seek out a more passive partner.

It's rather like the old, but perceptive, saying on the subject of marriage that advises future partners to make sure that the holes in one's head fit the bumps in the other's. Or, as Winch observed, it's the balancing out of sociological likenesses and psychological differences that seems to point the way for the most solid lifelong romance.

However, there are instances where people of different social backgrounds end up getting married and being extremely happy. I know of one man, a factory worker from a traditional Irish family in Chicago, who fell in love with an African-American Baptist. When they got married, their friends and relatives predicted a quick failure. But 25 years later, the marriage is still strong.

It turns out that the woman was like her mother-in-law--a loving and caring person, the type who rolls up her sleeves and volunteers to work at church or help out people in need. This is the quality that her husband fell for, and it made color and religion and any other social factors irrelevant to him.

Or as George Burns, who was Jewish and married the Irish Catholic Gracie Allen, used to say: his marriage was his favorite gig, even though it was Gracie who got all the laughs. The two of them did share certain social similarities--both grew up in the city, in large but poor families. Yet what really drew them together was evident from the first time they went on stage together. They complemented each other perfectly: he was the straight man, and she delivered the punch lines.

There are certainly such 'odd couples' who could scarcely be happier. We all know some drop-dead beautiful person married to an unusually plain wallflower. This is a trade-off some call the equity theory.

When men and women possess a particular asset, such as high intelligence, unusual beauty, a personality that makes others swoon, or a hefty bankroll that has the same effect, some decide to trade their assets for someone else's strong points. The raging beauty may trade her luster for the power and security that come with big bucks. The not-so-talented fellow from a good family may swap his pedigree for a poor but brilliantly talented mate.

Indeed, almost any combination can survive and thrive. Once, some neighbors of mine stopped by for a friendly social engagement. During the evening Robert, a man in his 50s, suddenly blurted out, 'What would you say if your daughter planned to marry someone who has a ponytail and insisted on doing the cooking?'

'Unless your daughter loves cooking,' I responded, 'I'd say she was darn lucky.'

'Exactly,' his wife agreed. 'It's really your problem, Robert--that old macho thing rearing its head again. The point is, they're in love.'

I tried to reassure Robert, pointing out that the young man their daughter had picked out seemed to be a relaxed, nonjudgmental sort of person--a trait he shared with her own mother.

Is there such a thing as love at first sight? Why not? When people become love-struck, what happens in that instant is the couple probably discovers a unique something they have in common. It could be something as mundane as they both were reading the same book or were born in the same town. At the same time they recognize some trait in the other that complements their own personality.

I happen to be one of those who was struck by the magic wand. On that fateful weekend, while I was a sophomore at Cornell University, I had a terrible cold and hesitated to join my family on vacation in the Catskill Mountains. Finally I decided anything would be better than sitting alone in my dormitory room.

That night as I was preparing to go to dinner, my sister rushed up the stairs and said, 'When you walk into that dining room, you're going to meet the man you'll marry.'

I think I said something like 'Buzz off!' But my sister couldn't have been more right. I knew it from the moment I saw him, and the memory still gives me goose flesh. He was a premed student, also at Cornell, who incidentally also had a bad cold. I fell in love with Milton the instant I met him.

Milt and I were married for 39 years, until his death in 1989. And all that time we experienced a love that Erich Fromm called a 'feeling of fusion, of oneness,' even while we both continued to change, grow and fulfill our lives.

Updates/ Happy Birthday Singapore

Okie, haven been writing for the past few days... hmm... let me see. Okie, met up with a frend on Fri and guess what?? I spent money again, this time on a blusher and eyeshowdow from Red Earth. How come I always spend money went I go shopping with him???? The last time I bought 2 tees while out with him to... hump...

But okay lar, the colors looks nice on me. :p Then I also bought a pair of white pants from U2 on Sat before heading for my sis bday chalet. Hahahah... there is no need for any reason when a woman wants to shop... :p

Sis chalet was okay, most are her frends and I dun know them anyway. But just be there for her bday lor.

Then yesterday went to Kallang Bahru to help distribute the first iad boxes for the single elderly and to demostrate on how to use the items in the box. Too nervous, my cantonese 1 piece 1 piece de.... :p But bottomline they understand can liao...heee. Its been quite a while since I did volunteer work, good to get back to it again :)

Haa....went to Mdm Wong yesterday with Charlie. Finally!! After abt what..... 8 mths?? Haa.... really very happy, can dance again! YEAH! Hmmm.... saw 2 bartop dancers yesterday nite. Hope to see sis perform 1 day. Maybe I can ask her to get me in to moonlight? Whahahaha..... think my thigh too fat liao, patrons vomitted not cos of the alcohol but....... then my poor collegues will get a call sheet "case of someone fainted due to a scary sight". Whatsmore its the 7th month of the lunar calendar! Haaa.... This reminds me of a ger I saw yesterday at MW. She was long-haired, wore a dress and the way she danced and swing her head/hair, under that kinda lighting was like..... was her head intact????

Then today went our and study with Tammy. Joyce was busy at the marina introducing the new ambulance to our fellow countrymen. And pengkanging there too.....wahahaha... :p She brought along the fireman jacket that I wanted all along for me and Tammy when we met just now! Wow! Huggzzzz..... thanks Qi! I really liked that jacket.... *beaming*

Tomorrow is our nation's 40th Birthday. I was on MRT the other day when it suddenly striked me real hard, the slogan "Singapore, my home". It occured to me that YES! Singapore is my home, where I belong and where I can always comes back to no matter where I go. Its not perfect and the govt might not be the best. But whatever, they still want the best for its people and if we dun protect our HOME, then who does? Oh shit! All those Duty, Honour, Country thingy are flooding back to me liao! Sigh.... the feeling of fighting for the country.... you can never feel the adrenaline rush if you never feel it. How can I describe? Nvm... its always the feelings that you can put down in words that got you real deep and hard.. :)

Well, you might think its very naive of me to talk abt protecting Singapore, fighting for her and such. Some ppl will think that Singapore won't go to war and that if anything happens, migrating is the way. Maybe.... *shrug* Each for his own. Maybe for me, my existence is not that important anyway, so dying for a good cause will at least makes me feel useful.......

Anyway, its not a very easy road for Singapore to come such long way since our independance and we should really be thankful for all the peace and prosperity that we are enjoying now. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! Many more happy returns to come! :)

Recent Movies

Eh.... went to catch "Sleath" and "Charlie & the chocolate factory". Both also not bad. But I think I would enjoy "Sleath" better cos with all the gung ho thing and flying of planes and all military.... Re-experience all the espirit-de-corp thingy all over again.... Shiok!! :p

As for "Charlie...." leh, still prefer the print version. It brought back all the sweet memories in Secondary school days when we were doing that for our English Literature. :) Roald Dahl was such a master in creativity that you have to worship the kinda names he could really think of... what Oompa Loompas, Witches etc etc... trust him to come out with all these imaginary characters.... haaa... really enjoyed his book when small.... :)

Think there is another movie that is on the way which is part of our Lit text too... "Roll of thunder" ? Saw the trailer at the cinema that day. Story is abt a group of ppl who travelled back to the prehostoric age, killed a butterfly and changed the whole history of mankind. Hmmm...... sounds pretty interesting... will go and catch it.

5 Secrets of getting a MAN to open up

Secret 1: Real Men Fear Rejection -- Really!

Most men feel that women r very critical of them, & they worry that if they do open up, someone's going to laugh at them, leaving them rejected & humiliated. It's important for women to realize that a man's EGO & sense of identity are generally more fragile than hers & more easily threatened.

Not judging ur partner means allowing him to say wat is on his mind, & simply being willing to hear it. This does not mean tat u don't have an opinion or tat u can't offer it at some point. In order for him open up to u, he has to feel truly accepted for who he is, not for who u may want him to be. Be patient with him.

If u respond to his thoughts by immediately offering ur pt of view with something like "Well, that's wrong. I don't agree" or, "Where did you get a crazy idea like that?" any man is going to clam right up. They're afraid if they say something too personal, it may not fit into the image you have of them, or the image they force themselves to project.

Don't be afraid to allow him to show you all different parts of himself. If u can let go of ur expectations & really just try to find out who he is, he will immediately sense it, feel greatly at ease & enjoy talking to u.


Secret 2: Reveal Yourself As Well

Everybody has problems, fears & skeletons in the closet. Many guys think, "If I share this, she'll leave me." You've to show that this is not the case by revealing something abt urself that shows u've as much trust in him as he has in u.

When he starts to open up, listen to what he is saying, then take a step beyond & offer something positive in return. After he tells u something personal, say something like, "Well, that's not so bad. I've done worse." Or, "I really admire this abt wat happened" & pick something in the story u really do admire. (Don't make this up, though. It will fall flat & turn into manipulation. Pple always know when they r being manipulated on some lvl & it never works out.) Let him know u're on his team, tat he is not alone with his experience.

Many women listen to the stories that men tell only to respond by telling him how he's been looking at it wrong.

When two people are making friends, they share their common experiences mutually and, because of that, experience closeness and comfort. I

t's amazing how many men feel tremendously alone. Not only have they been trained for silence, taught that it is unmanly to express what they are going through, they usually don't get feedback from the guys in their world. Ur honest & positive feedback is vital. If u bond in this way, ur partner will feel there is some1 there who understands them & open up even more.


Secret 3: Let Go of the Past

Have u ever have a discussion where it turning into a litany of past grievances??? When a man fears tat his words will later b distorted, misunderstood, told to others or thrown back at him, it is impossible for him to open up. & the only way to move beyond this communication trap is to realize tat watever happened in e past, watever ur ex did or said, u were involved as well. Meaning, no one is entirely gd & no one entirely bad. In fact, rather than seeing any1 as gd or bad, it is more useful to notice the roles being played in the r/s & the ways in which all of us become stuck in patterns that we don't know how to get out of.

For example, some women love playing the victim or martyr. They need the blame of the r/s in order to validate their own feelings & feel powerful over their partner. In fact, they may hold a man to them in this way for a while. But it's a sure sign tat e communication has completely closed down & the r/s is on the rocks.

If u want to avoid or change this sorry state of affairs and help him speak to u openly, try this. Take responsibility 4 ur part in the situation & C the ways in which u might have contributed to wat happened. This does not mean blaming yourself, either. Just to look at the situation with a large eye. Focus on all the things he did "right," not "wrong." If u need more direction here, take out ur journal & make lists of wat u've received from the r/s & wat u've given in return. Notice times when u were also less than perfect, & notice the ways in which both of u've grown & changed.

The ability to forgive may be just as simple as realizing tat wat was true a year ago abt him (and abt yourself as well) may not be true now. Stay focused in the present. True communication requires the ability to remain in the present and to let the past be over when it's done.


Secret 4: Become a Solid -- and Secure -- Listener

Is it even possible to have honest r/s? The assumption is tat everybody's going to be honest. The truth is, few people are. & the main reason tat pple are dishonest is tat the consequences r too big. Many men feel that women want & need to be lied to b'cos they can't take the honest truth. Some guys fear telling their partner wat is really going on in their lives, or how they truly feel b'cos it will upset her. In fact, many women use their emotions to control men -- & ctrl the r/s. They demand certain responses from men, and feel devastated if they don't get them. Then they're surprised when he shuts down and doesn't talk.

Unfortunately, many women also have strong images of how a man is "supposed" to feel, and think. That kind of fantasy makes the truth devastating, so they let the man know in many subtle ways that they do not want it. Sound familiar? We're all guilty of this from time to time, but being willing to listen to what he has to say is the beginning of a truly mature r/s. It gives the man the feeling that he has a solid partner who will be there with him through thick and thin.

If you're ready to break out of this unrealistic rut, it's time to ask urself 3 things.

1) How much of the truth you can tolerate?
2) How much do you really want?
3) Do u wan ur man 2 b a fantasy figure 4 u, or allow him 2 become REAL?

These are huge questions. Perhaps you cannot take all of the truth at once right now, but u can certainly build up ur tolerance muscles & move in that direction.

Oddly enough, we all think tat fantasy makes us feel wonderful, but in fact, the more reality we can take, the stronger we grow. The ability to accept honesty from others increases as we realize that true security comes not from the approval of others but from being true to ourselves.


Secret 5: Be True to Yourself -- Be Aware

It's an old question but a gd one.

How can we be true to another if we aren't true to ourselves?

The best way to help a man open up is simply to be open urself, be natural, be real and exude an atmosphere of warmth and acceptance. Those who we encounter in life are mirrors of different parts of ourselves and we attract certain people who each help us love another part of ourselves.

This is why it's important to apply the five secrets covered here not only to the men in our lives but also to ourselves.

When u treat yourself this way, it is only natural to do the same thing to ur partner. If when young u were always scolded or made to feel inadequate in some way, you are likely to act the same way toward your man.

Awareness is crucial here. If u want to create a more open dynamic between ur partner & urself, take a strong inventory of the way u treat & regard urself & the way u were treated by the significant others of ur past. If u were hurt, this is ur chance to make a decision to not live ur life on automatic-pilot-of-the-past anymore. Turn it around. Decide to be kind & accepting, both of urself & to the one u're with.

Sometimes we give in to another in the expectation of receiving the same in return. When that doesn't happen, silent fury starts to build. That is behaving with an agenda, giving mixed messages and not being true to another or urself. In order to give of urself truly, you have to realize that you "get" as much out of giving as out of receiving.

When you give the other unconditional respect and regard, you are giving that to yourself as well.

You are behaving in the best way possible, and the fine effects always reverberate back. When you treat others in a way you respect, you are building a sense of value and worth.

If your partner doesn't reciprocate, you won't have to feel like it's your failing or loss. Instead you will easily move on to someone who is more like you.

The bottom line: Be true to yourself and you will find that it is contagious. The men (and women) you are with will start to behave the same way. They will communicate openly and naturally, not with a fixed agenda, not to manipulate or control. If they don't behave this way, they will naturally move out of your life -- to a place that is more appropriate for them.