The Oxford Dictionary's latest definitions of the following words:-
Divorce : Future tense of marriage
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway - "See I am not injured yet."
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich
Father : A banker provided by nature
Criminal : A guy no difference than the rest, except that he got caught
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills
No comments:
Post a Comment