Went back to stn to say farewell to Rota 1 & 4. Knew Enick Ivan is on duty today (coincide with Rota 1 & 4) so went there especially to see him. He was asking why din see me ard for so long and when I left, he sms me that he is gonna miss me.... so sweet of him... :) Guess he is quite fond of me, I am fond of him too. He was like a uncle figure to me and I respect him.
Waited for Sam and my mentor too. Too bad Syukri (medic) was on leave, can't eat my chocolates... :p Talked a bit with my mentor. Think he gonna miss me too...heee. Asked me to walk with him for the last time to the bus-stop "Since I posted here, nobody walked with me except you.." Although he is not a very popular person, he is good to me. I still keep the consoling SMS he sent me when I told him I failed my practical *Gam Dong*. Maybe as Syukri said before, we are both very funni and strange ppl that is why we can be mentor and mentee....hahahaha.
Maybe..... like I said, not a lot of ppl can accept me, only a few can really understand me and accept me for what I am. I never harm anyone, I never gossip or stab ppl behind their back. Maybe I did without me knowing, but it was never intentional. That has been always the way this world work doesn't it? I hate being misunderstood. My communication problem? The way I put my thots across? I never meant anything bad in my comments or questions. Hahaha... it takes Charlie a good 2 - 3 years before he can accept my lingo or what I am trying to say, but when things get hot, he will forget too. Perhaps I should not speak so much and just keep quiet (which was what I did when I wanted acceptance from my platoon mates) even extending to those whom are considered as frends but dun understand me. Maybe that is the reason why I never have a lot of frends. My problem.... maybe I was too sensitive towards how ppl view me? That is a very good consolation. Ha. Maybe all the while I have been a self-centered bitch who never really put in her efforts to nuture frendships. But you dun just find any Tom, Dick or Harry rite? At least there must be chemistry.... but sometimes you think there is, the other party think otherwise. *shrug*
Looking for acceptance..... looking for acceptance, ger, its time you let it go and embrace your true self. If not, it is just gonna be a viscious cycle that you cannot run away from. Have the courage to face it alone.... if you have to.
PS. Went to temple to pray today and got a good lot for my yin yuan. Stated sunshine after the rain, things will get better as I got to see more clearly after the hazy period. Real zhun wor....give up liao.... heee
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