Shit happens ...

Confucianism: Confucius say: "Shit happens".
Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism: This shit happened in my last life too.
Protestantism: Shit happens cause you don't work hard enough.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you are bad.
Zen: What is the sound of one shit happening?
Episcopalianism: How Dare Shit Happen?
Calvinism: Shit that doesn't stink is a sign of being saved.
Moonies: Only happy shit happens.
Christian Science: Shit is in your mind.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Jehova's Witnesses: Let us in and we'll tell you why shit happens.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.
Mormonism: Shit happens in both the old world and the new world.
Lutheranism: Have faith in shit.
Baptism: Say Hallelujah to the shit.
Scientology: Extraterrestrials brought the shit.
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Shit Happens, Shit Shit Happens Happens, Shit Happens, Rama Rama.
Atheism: No shit.
Taoism: Shit happens.
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Whahaha.... hmm... Shit Happens! :p